Did I miss the money tree?
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
June 5, 2012 2:27pm CST
I want all your opinions on this situation.
My Moms birthdaay is on the 7th of June (Thursday). Sure, I can see buying her a present but noone can afford one. Usually all us kids will go in on an items, that would be fine if everyone paid. My two brother agree until its time to pay and then suddenly they have some stupid excuse, then my sister and I end up forking out more.
My sister is in some dream world in life. She has to be perfect and she spends money that isnt there. My Mom realizes we are trying to get on our feet and be on our own. She even said this the other day when I asled her what she wanted. She said nothing as she knows y bills are more important, and just supper with all of us would be nice.
My sister wants to buy this arbour thingy which yes my Mother has wanted but if me and her go in on it its about $100 per person which I dont have. Last year I bought my Mom this cute planter thingy to go in her garden. I was thinking of buying her a few flowers, or an ornament.
I dont like spending money that I dont have. Now if say I was being paid in a few days I wouldnt mind but my paycheque is already spent on bills, and such this month as I had to buy a new laptop. I still owe the government and my seasonal job hours go up and down so I need to make sure I have that money from my other paycheque which if so I cant spend a dime. My parents understand this and told me just to pay the government back thats more important. I offered to buy her lunch while we are working that day (I can dig up enough change that way).
But my sister now taking a fit about it. I mean I explained it to her and she just doesnt understand, she cant afford it either, as she owes a lot more in debt and student loans than I do.
2 people like this
6 responses
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
5 Jun 12
Just tell her to do what she wants to do. If she wants to spend $100 on something .. let it just be something that she is willing to pay for by herself. You two aren't joined at the hip. You don't have to do what she says or what she does. You do what your conscience and your finances tells you to do. Don't worry about her taking a fit. Let her have a fit if she wants one.
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
6 Jun 12
There's no real need to compare yourself with your sister. You know what she is like. All you need to do is worry about yourself and take care of yourself. Your sister and the rest will have to learn from their iwn mistakes. If I were you, I'd draw a healthy boundary with them. Like...say to them to stop asking you for money. That you work for your money and you aren't a bank.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
6 Jun 12
Hi ricki, I wamt to wish your Mom a great birthday..
I certainly understand about money being tight. I know
a lot of people/my family is on a budget. Its really
tough to just give/donate up $100.00 that you don't
have...I think your Mom would really be contented with
something for her garden..
I have a suggestion...when you know that a occassions
is coming up in a few months just put few dollars
away for that occassion..You knew your Mothers birthday
was in the same month every year...A little saves on the
side helps in times like this....
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
6 Jun 12
Usually I have the money, and wouldnt mind getting something big such as that. Except I owe the government a lot more than expected. So Majority of my paycheques have been going towards that. But my sister reasonaing is charge it to your credit card and pay later. I just cant guaarentee having the money in the future, as aleast the next 6 months pay goes to the government. I talked it over with my Mom and Im buying her lunch while we are at work, and also a little cutre ornament she picked out for herself today.
@cher913 (25782)
• Canada
5 Jun 12
your sister sounds like my sister in law. the mother in law turned 75 this year so she figures she needs to buy something expensive for mom. hubby and i have no money, a kid going to college and are paying off credit card debt (haven't used a credit card in a few years). we live just above what is considered 'poor' in Canada.
hubby's sister also lives in a dream world because she and the rest of her family are trying to keep up with the joneses (who knows how many credit cards they have maxed).
hubby's other brother works for the government and could really afford this but of course, it was divided into 3.
hubby suggested we buy sterling silver. nice, pretty and gets the point across. but nooooooooooo, sister insists mom only wears gold (a bunch of crap) so now we are on the hook for something like a hundred bucks. i said to hubby, it would have been nice if sister would have asked us our opinion before she went off and bought it.
grrrrrrrrrrrr
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
5 Jun 12
I agree with splitting it equally, but its when people dont pay their share, or dont listen. I mean I know both my brothers wouldnt buy anyone anything and expect everything for themselves. I dont buy them anything, just because they are high class and complain. I mean a few years ago my brother and his now wife moved into their house so I made a bag full of products for the house, and to this day he still whines. But if soomeone told me they couldnt afford it , I would look into a present that everyone can go for. But my sister doesnt see that she spends, spends, and thinks of the money later. She has about 6 credit cards and many shared with her boyfriend. Im not sure how much she owes, but she constantly says she has no money. Im not willing to put myself into debt for a present and make someone happy for a few hours. I am buying my Mom lunch and later if I have extra money to buy her a little gift (flower, or something for her garden).
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
5 Jun 12
I think it's a wise decision not to spend money you don't have.
I always tell my kids it's not about the presents they buy me but about the fact they think about me. And what mom wants most is a relaxed day (a helping hand would be fine too plus staying in bed a bit longer as 6am would be great).
A great birthday you can also celebrate without presents, by sharing quality time. If your parents understand don't bother about it. I wish you and your mom a great birthdayparty.
@starrianna9 (5)
• United States
6 Jun 12
I say, get her something thoughtful: mom's always appreciate the thought that goes into something more than how much was spent. Get her something thoughtful, as well as a nice card- BUT! YOU are the only one who should sign it. It's not fair for your siblings to try to ride off your effort without putting forth any themselves. It's a personal gift from you to your mother, and the rest of your siblings can feel ashamed when they're empty handed.
