How can you be so dependent and rely on a guy so much?

I usually tell guys before dating basically Im not dropping my entire life for them, sure we can make plans and such but Im not quietting my job, getting ride of my animals, and so on. My exs all have said Im too independent and they want someone who clings to them, and they have control over and in the back of their minds know cant survive ont heir own (no joke Ive had about 5 exs say this to me). They will say I didnt know you were that indepdent, and I know you could survive on your own. I find someone who is indepdent as well works out, but most guys its an ego, mind sort thing. The last guy I dated I was going to school full time and working full time midnights, and days he expected me to call in sick, or not go to class for him. I sat down and told him in even a few months, or even a few years where will we be? he agreed on what I had to say that I needed my own things, and goals we broke up for completely different reason (he accused me of cheating with some other guy and I dont put up with bs). I like my alone time, and most guys dont understand that, I mean I get very annoyed, and grumpy otherwise and Ive had 1 guy understand but he was a workoholic so it worked out great. But many as you said dont accept your animals I say if my animals wont accept you then your not worth my time. I had my last ex laugh at me and my cat wouldnt go near him, and scratched his face up haha I should of listen to Patches then. I say when we start dating my animals are there, and if you wont help out then your not worth my time. I mean my sisters boyfriend tells her no animals or they go outside where is her cat? at my aprents house because my sister thinks her boyfriends more important.

I am an incredibly independent person even though I am married. I'm married but if he left me tomorrow I would be devastated but I would survive. She is mad at you because she knows you are right. It's going to take her a long long time to grow up and realize what she has turned herself into. I cannot imagine being that helpless. As far as the animals go I went out with a guy who when I said I wanted a lot of cat's he said oh yeah?, and what if I don't want cat's? I said, well we are not married and I really wasn't asking your opinion. I will have what I want and no man is going to tell me what I can and cannot have. Needless to say I got rid of Mr. controlling. Now I have six. I don't blame you for being frustrated with this type of person but the most you can do is let her slowly come to her senses. And don't help her with anything. Let her start fending for herself in this world, she needs to learn.

LOL my dog who used to be my deciding factor as to weather to date a guy or not it was how they acted with him or her with them now my cat I can't really use as a judge well I do to some extent maverick has alot of "mental" problems the vet can't pin point what is wrong with him but with me he is the sweetest cat ever he gives the best kisses and I can do what I want to him now enter new person maverick freaks out like attacks people and everything he can not handle new things in his environment and when he gets all worked up he doesn't even recognize me the vet thinks it's a form of autism but is not sure. So now when a guy comes over I explained maverick to them and tell them just to stay away from him and they will be okay he won't hurt them unless they get to close he needs time to adjust now how they react to this tells me alot about the person most give a comment about stupid cats or let him try to hurt me or you don't u get rid of him and they usually find themselves on their way home pretty quick

I certainly wont be paying guys bills my ex pulled that and I laughted in his face (and thats why hes gone). Now if I lived with a guy I would contribute my share, or vice versa noone is living off me for free nor am I living off people for free. Ive had relationships were yes give and take, we make plans but I dont expect say boyfriend to drop his entire life to be with me, and Im not willing to do that either. Ive had guys tell me to quiet my job, move in with them, and spend my entire day with them (nope, not happening). Ive had guys understand completely I want to work, and have my things but they dont accept my animals. My friends mindset is that is life, you are nothing without a boyfriend, and his sole purpose and yours is to do nothing but be with him. I think shes in a dream world and will get a rude awakening the fact she has nothing of her own, I mean my brother wife does scrap booking once a week (that is her thing and get out sort of speaking), my friend wont lift a finger without her boyfriend andhim being there. I like being able to take a sh*t by myself without my boyfriend sitting beside ssaying its alright. I was taught to jump in and take risks and sure if a tiime comes you cant do something you ask for help, but dont expect each and everytime for everything you get help. I would expect someone to pay my bills, drive me around, even make my decisions I would ask for advice and talk it over but my sole deicions isnt theres.

I could never drop my life for a guy, and I was raised that way. My friend is very similar to yours, she barely works, her boyfriend pays the bills (she even pays his child support), she cant go anywhere without him ( but she makes that decisions) I think he wishes she would go away sometimes. She has that mindset her life is nothing without her boyfriend, she has no friends, nothing anymore. Her boyfriend drives her everywhere, they work together, and live together, shes has nothing of her own, and whenever someone says something she says her boyfriends her world (I think in the future she will regret it). I just think sure getting advice, but not taking their decision and following it, or not having your own things.