people make me sooo sick!!!
@crazzydolphin (3636)
United States
June 12, 2012 9:33am CST
i over heard a conversation yesturday that i actually ended up sticking my nose into it and i dont usually do that. they were talking about a friend of theirs who is in a very abusive relatioship and they were talking about how stupid she was and they called her every name in the book. none of them have been there so they dont understand what she is going thro and there is no way to know what this girl actually feels deep down if you have never had to experiance it. i shut them up quick because they had no answers for anything and they couldnt tell me they truely understood her position. how can they talk trash about something they know nothng about? how are they really her friend? i know this doesnt just happen with these people i hear people say it all the time.
what do you guys think?
if this is the way you think then WHY do you think they are stupid if you dont understand what they are going thro? all responses accepted i want to hear all sides because i know my side and where i stand
if you agree with me WHY?
if you have been in this type of situation and feel like talking about it can you tell us why you couldnt leave? or what made you leave? or how you feel about what people say that dont understand?
*all comments are welcome i am not looking to argue but i want to know what diffrent people think and how they look at this situation
1 person likes this
4 responses
@megamatt (14291)
• United States
13 Jun 12
An abusive relationship is one of those things where it is hard to determine where anyone's mind lies in it. And it can be more complex than one can really pretty believe a lot of the time. There are just going to be times where if you look on it from the outside, it may really seem rather obvious to those on the outside. However, inside the relationship, it is not that obvious.
It really does seem obvious that someone would want to get out of the abusive relationship but sadly it is not that simple. There are people who may put out with a lot of the time. I have no idea what is going on, and anything that I hear second hand would be hearsay if I was in that situation. So unless I was seeing what unfolded twenty four seven it would be hard to cast any judgment with a lot of people to say a lot of the time. Its just not simple. Some people feel they can change the other party. That is the harshest truth of them all.
@crazzydolphin (3636)
• United States
13 Jun 12
in my opinion the only way to know for sure where a persons mind is is if they have been thro it before and even then every person is diffrent so it is very hard to determine how they are feeling. i agree being an outsider you can see the obvious things and you can think well that is stupid or something like that but being the insider the one being abused there could be other reasons why they are still there in that relationship.
i agree many people do want to get out of it but there are things that are stopping them and you are right it is NOT as simple as just packing up and leaving. many people really do pass judgements on things they know nothing about and that is just not fair or right for anyone involved.
@RAKESH333 (5)
•
13 Jun 12
We should not open our mouth, when we are not aware about something.Some people like to speak istead of remain silent on some issues they do not care if the information are correct or not.They do not concern about the information they are providing is either correct or not they think that,it will leave a good impact on the people's mind. But the fact is quite different they have a negative effect on the listener's mind .Their views are ambiguous.The two boys were talking about the girl , it seems from their conversation that they are not sure and certain about sentences they were speaking of.It appears that ,if the matters are not eally moe than just a rumor. Such things can severly damage the peace of your whole life , specially the life of a female.It may ruin thei marriage life, and may be responsible for the break up of their sweet relationship. If they are unmarried,it may be possible that they had to face a lot of probem to get their desired life partners.Perhaps they were not the friend, because if it was truethen they must think at least once before they speak. I agree with you ,because it may be possible that this conversation is mere a time pass for them , but it may turn the whole life of a person into a hell.
@crazzydolphin (3636)
• United States
13 Jun 12
EXACTLY!!! you can be an outsider looking in and think you know the situation and think you know what is going on but unless you have been there in that sort of position before there is no true way to understand what is going on. not only that even if you have been in a situation like that that doesnt mean that you understand what that person is feeling because every person is diffrent in their own way and their opinions. i agree with you saying something can make things way worse than they were before and turn their life upside down and make it an even mroe hell than it was before.
@zip12ph (179)
• Philippines
13 Jun 12
Hi, My friend had been in an abusive relationship before,I myself do call my friend stupid but not behind her back but on her very face especially on situation that she really act as one, but this is not to put her down but to make her realize that its time to move on and get out of the relationship she was in that time.
Its true that, if we are a friend we need to understand why our friend wont quit the situation they have, even though its hurting them that much, we should not talked about them, cause what our friend need is our affection and love. Have a nice day.
@crazzydolphin (3636)
• United States
13 Jun 12
i guess saying it to her face is better than behind her back and i guess if she is acting like it then i can understand but at the same time no one truely knows what that person is going thro. i know that people do it not to upset them but to make them see what is actually happening to them isnt right but sometimes there are other reasons for why they are still in that relatioship. i agree that people going thro something like this really just need the love and the care from their friends not all the back stabbing and the talking behind their backs about them and the situations they most likely know nothing about.
@adorablelucia82 (91)
•
12 Jun 12
If i were you also ofcourse i get mad at them,they're supposed to be quiet first since they don't know yet what was really going on to their friend's situation. I hate people like that, they're pretending they're clean and perfect. they're suppose to comfort her but they are doing in an opposite way. well hope it won't happen to the people who betrayed to their friends.It is really now proven that having a real friend is really hard to find, a friend who will stand by you when you are down.
@crazzydolphin (3636)
• United States
12 Jun 12
yes i agree. true friends that will be there no matter the situation and not talk about you behind your back is really hard to find. i would never wish something like this on anyone because it is not fun at all and no one deserves it but i wish there was a way to make them see exactly what they are going thro. i am sure then they would feel bad for the thigns they said. everyone has secrets that they hide from the world.
