feeling quilty
@angelwithkids (1256)
United States
June 12, 2012 7:49pm CST
i was getting ready to go to work this morning. my cleo and smoky were in the front yard. smoky had run out the yard between the fence slats and went under my car. i got into my car and turned it on. thinking, that the noise of the motor would scare her off. i got my stuff organized in the passanger seat, taking my time. i saw cleo go around the house, so i had guessed that smoky was with her. i backed out of the yard and pulled forward and i felt a thump. i look in the rearview mirror, thinking i ran over a branch, and there was smoky!!!! she was flipping!!!! i slammed on my brakes, flipped a u and braked in front of her before the other car could run over her. by the time i got to her, she took her final breath. after everything that's been going on, this was the straw that broke the camel's back. i started crying out. all i could do was lift her in my arms and hold her. i apologized to her over and over again. how could i have been so stupid?!?!?!?!?!?!!!! it would have only taken 30 seconds to look under the car to make sure she wasn't there! how could i have been so careless?!?!?!?!?!!!! of all days for this to happen!! i took her to the backyard and laid her down and told my son that if he could just bury her when he got back from his friend's funeral. i apologized to my children for being so careless and killing our little baby. they both reassured me that they didn't blame me, but i've been dealing with the guilt all day.
6 responses
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
14 Jun 12
my son lost a friend in an accident, so we figured he needed a pet up there. :)
@advokatku (4033)
• Indonesia
13 Jun 12
The guilt is a part of responsibility. Your actions to apologize is a good action and is a good example as parent. Don't continue to feel guilty, but which must you do is create a sense of responsibility to your childs by replacing something you've broken with the other replacement
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
14 Jun 12
i don't think we'll find a replacement for smoky, but ying is pregnant now so we'll have new babies in a few weeks.
@randylovesdar (4932)
• United States
13 Jun 12
I am sorry for your loss. I know you did not do it on purpose. I would have also thought that the noise of the car would have scared smoky. I am glad that your kids understood that it was an accident and that they are not blaming you. You should not blame yourself either because it truly was an accident.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
14 Jun 12
i just wish i had taken the few extra seconds and look under the vehicle before leaving.
@Jessi_T (379)
• United States
13 Jun 12
That's so devastating and I am sorry for your loss. It does only take a blink of an eye or a second for something like that to happen, but it was an accident. You never intentionally set out to harm your pet. Rest assured your pet knew that you cared and didn't intentionally do anything to hurt her.
@angelwithkids (1256)
• United States
14 Jun 12
i hope so. cleo keeps looking at me with those eyes "where's my baby?" she's killing me.
