Marrige or Not Marriage during PhD studying at abroad!
@immigrant_swallow (21)
Malaysia
June 13, 2012 3:03am CST
Hello everybody. It is about two years that I have had a relationship with my girlfriend. She is very kind and considerable. We had decided to get married with each other. Both of us are 29. However, last year I left my homeland for continuing higher education (PhD) and she stayed at our homeland.At the present I do not have any job and my family supports me. I live in a small room and share an apartment with others. I do not know when I can earn some money. Because getting PhD is very difficult and time consuming. Most of RA and Grant positions belong to locals. I am so worry about my financial problems after marriage. When I imagine how I can take her in this country I become upset. Because killing my expense become more difficult.Also she does not know English language and she will depend on me in this country. Another issue is that I just started PhD and it will last at least three years later. Moreover, job condition in my home country is bad also. . I have an immigration plan in my mind. On the other hand we are not young and we are getting older. Really I do not know what should I do?! Should I marry with her and live far from each other (So in this way why we should marry when we cannot see each other for several years?!). Should I break up with her and break her heart also? (In this way maybe she can find better option than me). I confused and I do not know what I should do. My story is very complicated because If I drop out or finish my education and coming back to my country government will send me to compulsory service for two years. :( All the time I am thinking and I cannot concentrate on my education. What are your suggestions?
1 response
@adorablelucia82 (91)
•
13 Jun 12
Love can wait. if you really love each other just go on to your relationship. you need to explain it to her about your situation there don't hide it. if she can understand that's good because you are talking about your future together. while waiting you, i think it's better for her to send herself to school so that she learn English. it is most important especially when you are in other country.
@immigrant_swallow (21)
• Malaysia
13 Jun 12
Thank you for giving your points to me. However, you know her family insists to marry sooner and because we are from two different cities and different culture it makes our situation worst. I do not know during these years that I am far from my country. What will happen! When I see that she can find better person without my problems. I think maybe it is better to let she go and live easier. Such life should be very hard. I know love is a magic but every magic has limited power. I afraid that financial problems kill love.
@adorablelucia82 (91)
•
13 Jun 12
oh that's not good. they need to understand your situation and they can't also force you to marry their daughter if you are not ready yet. if you jump in to the situation like that it's a big problem in your part. you have the right to refuse. yeah if you think it's hard for them to understand you better let her go maybe you're not meant to each other because when you love you must have to be patient,understand and to be considerate to the circumstances could be possibly happened.
