Asserting to a friends.

My friends know that at times I feel terrible and they would rather I cancel then try to visit them while I am in pain. I am not ashamed of my health problems and anyone who knows me knows what is wrong and is considerate of my choice if I have to cancel. Likewise I try to be this way if a friend has to cancel on me.

Not feeling well is a good excuse to bail out... If it is something like I am tired or I changed my mind last minute or I forgot then I get mad. At least you let your friend know and a true friend will understand why you had to cancel. As long as you are honest with your friends and treat them with respect they will stay your friends

I think thats great that you can make that decision and stand firm on it . Congrats! There are so many people that just cant step up and express tactfully to a situation that they are not happy with. I am one of them! I used to be, at least I think so. But now I am not good at it at all and that makes me mad at myself, still not changing anything however. I dont really have many friends but I have one best friend and then theres my family and my children. I try not to cancel out because yes I do feel bad and guilty like I am being a bad person. I do feel relief though when I actually do cancel if need be. I feel fine when someone cancels because then I can just chill at home. LOL I dont do much outside of the home so I tend to feel better at home.

I don’t like to cancel the plans that I have made with my friends, but sometimes it is necessary to cancel or postpone our plans for instance when I get ill. Last time I had to cancel my plans with a friend I wasn’t ill, but I simply didn’t have the energy to go through with our plans. I worked seven days a week and I was going to meet my friend in the afternoon after work. When I got back to my home I was too tired to travel to another town to meet my friend. I knew that I had to work the next day and I decided to stay at home and get some rest. I told my friend that I was too exhausted because I worked every day and I that I didn’t have the energy to travel. My friend got angry and disappointed, and I felt bad about canceling our meeting, but I was simply too tired and I wouldn’t have been able to enjoy our meeting. In July and August where I am going to work seven days a week again I am not going to plan many meetings with my friends. That way I won’t have to change our plans and disappoint my friends again. I don’t get angry when my friend cancels our meetings. There is usually a reason why they change the plans and I understand that. I would get upset if they cancel the meetings every time, but I think it is fine to cancel the meetings every once in a while if something unexpected happens.

Idon`t think that a trur friend would have trouble understanding if you are not feeling well. There`s no reason whatsoever to feel guilty. Usually my friends have perfectly good reasons when they cancel a meeting with me. And while I feel dissapointed, I understand.

It is really hard, indeed. But be firm, your friend knew you a lot so maybe if you are being assertive enough to tell the reasons of the cancellation of meeting then you don't have to worry.

I don't feel bad at all if a friend cancels on me because they feel bad or something came up. I have been there before too so I understand when these things happen.