I felt helpless...

When my daughter went through her worst manic phase to date I felt pretty cut off from our usually tight net family circle. It was weird. My daughter and her two kids are the only family I have left so to feel as if I had lost them was horrible. It last for about four months three summers ago. No fun!

Oh, poor your husband!!! However he has you, right? and you are a person who always accompany with him. Talk him don't be sad because he is not alone, he always has you!!!

But he has a family. He is the dad of a lovely family. A family where he is wanted And Needed! He is looked up to and respected.I hope you can show him how much he is loved this Sunday.

Many times....it's unfortuate that so many families are this way. I have had friends who will bring up a situation like this.....that their family doesn't really care or are not close at all. I am so lucky that my family was close. I feel for those people who are missing out on having good family relationships....even my DIL sometimes...I do the things her mother should be doing with her like going out for lunch or shopping...but I tell my son no matter what I do I am not her mother....I love her like a daughter and she loves me...but it's not the same.

My husband has had a similar feeling. He wants to be approved by his children that when they have called and only call for "money" somehow it makes him feel guilty to say no. His oldest son who is 42 never calls unless for money. He started it again last winter. he would say he will send the money back. Then he calls for a few weeks to see if his dad ever got the money order which naturally we never did. Then gradually he calls back and asks for money again. In one day he doled out $400.00 between oldest and middle son. One got 300.00 and the other 100.00. Then he rationalizes it by telling the boys to keep it and spend it on their kids for Xmas. He never gets pictures or even a phone call from his 6 grandchildren. So when it started again over the last 400.00, I told my husband we are NOT an ATM machine and told him they do not call him unless they need something not because they care about him. He told his oldest son no about 4 months ago and we have not heard from him since. The second son went to prison on June 1st so unless he calls his dad collect he will not hear from him for 5 years. We live in Florida and he is in Texas. So to visit for just a few minutes is not even worth the long drive on our health. he has a daughter and while she loves her father, she is bitter knowing he keeps helping her older brother out. I completely understand as I too get bitter sometimes knowing he will never get the loan back. Not because he won't, but the boys always say I will pay it back dad. It would be less humiliating if they just took the money and never mentioned paying it back. From talking to his daughter over the weekend, she said her brother had called and asked for money from his mother, and she finally said no and he went on Facebook and cussed her out all over her facebook page. I don't have time for all this kind of crap. She said mom deleted him and had to spend over an hour cleaning up her facebook page. She laughed and said I think Mom may be finally learning. Somewhere along the line, people think the word family means money. Personally I thought the word meant love and certainly do not always a handout because you want it but the fact that maybe the family can circle around you becaue you need help. To me that is the gift of giving and family. Tell your husband if he needs a big sis, I would be honored. I am an only child afterall LOL And both my parents are deceased.

Your presence alone is a comfort for any husband who is in that situation and circumstance. I need to disagree that you were helpless. My take is that you were helpful. In many ways that even money can buy or provide. We may feel helpless at times but I believe that there's something we can be of use to anyone, especially to those important to us or close to our heart. Much time has been spent to being and feeling pity with ourselves, yet we can do something. Good day to you.

That's sad. I know what it is like to feel helpless when someone you love is hurting and you have no possible way to ease the pain. Have you ever thought about sitting down and writing him a letter? Like telling him how much he means to you, naming all the roles he fills as father, husband, friend...and how much worse off the world would be without him? I did that once for a friend who was down and it was like I had poured sunshine into their day.

When it comes to family it's hard to make another feel better about themselves and the situation. It's hard to put yourself in their shoes, and even if you feel you have been in their shoes, they don't want that kind of comfort. My families screwy as is, and I've had depression over it, I know I'm hard to console. Just knowing you were there though, I'm sure he was glad for that.

Of course, I feel it all the time, my dad is giving me up because I am depression, he thinks I am weird, my mum oftens blame me for not working full time, not because I don't want but I can't, I affect my family a lot but deep down I know they loves me very much.

That is very sad! I was blessed with parents and siblings that have drowned me with love. Nevertheless, I have always found this passage very encouraging. Psalm 27:10 Good News Translation (GNT) 10 My father and mother may abandon me, but the Lord will take care of me.

That is too bad. Reading this discussion made me feel so sad for your husband. You are doing a wonderful thing by listening to him and being there for him. I will keep your husband in my prayers.

As a man who is married, regardless of family problems, should not be considered. The important thing is your husband still care about the family. If they ask for aid money, give according to ability. If not able, better said, can not help. Do not be forced, if your husband is not able to help.

Yes i did and it was awful being there and not being able to do anything about it. But sometimes we don't have to do anything at all. Our mere presence gives them comfort already. At least your husband has his own family now and it's you and your children. He shouldn't think much about his family because he's got his own now and he would never lose you.

yes. it has become more common these days. families just want money. my dad is the same and my wife is disturbed cause of it. but i have kept my emotions aside and decided to move on and move out of my house. he just loves to drink and want lavish life.not even bothering that my wife is expecting. he doesnt help in simple chores of home,wastes food,no sign of happiness as he is going to become a grand pa.smokes inside the house n stuff. so i decided to move out and take care of my wife who loves me like anythin. keep emotions aside and wall will be fine. :)

I have not felt like that but my ex wife's family did not care about her at all. I know that because she told me everything her mother used to do to her and her sisters. It was not pretty. And my current girl friend, not that her family don't care, but they use her for money all the time. And the sad part is we both don't have it like that. We help out when we can, but we are far from rich.

Sometimes a person needs some alone time with themselves, after that it is your job to make the person feel GOOD, good, not better, just good, tell him things he likes, cook him his favourite dish...this is just dealing with someone that feels sad, the subject doesn't matter. Do your best he will value it.