Going along with what everyone else wants, just for a peaceful life.

You have a choice to ignore what other people are saying but I don't think that same choice apply if it's against your own doctor's opinion.

That just is not right. It is your life, and your body and doctors are not infallible or omniscient. I have been fortunate as an adult to have doctors that usually listen to me. I try to listen to them as well, but I seldom see them. What do you want that you are not getting? How can you get it? Who can you tell? Who will be a voice for you?

I know the feeling all too well. Due to Randy losing his job in September and us having to move to Nevada in October things have been horrible. My parents told us we could live here until we get on our feet again. We told them we would help with food and pay one of their bills (the heat bill). It has been hard to do since Randy's health has gotten worse and now he is collecting SSI and SSD (it will be coming in August) and I have been taking care of him. I am not ready to work because I am always worried about randy. My parents expect and randy and I to continue living here and pay their bills. I refuse to help them out and need to move out before I say anything that I will regret. I feel so unwelcome here and I feel more like a guest rather than her daughter. She has not been nice to randy since he broke his foot and even though she does not say it I can tell that she thinks that Randy us a deadbeat because he is not working (it is not his fault he is hurt). The other night his late mother came to see me. I felt her sitting next to me on the bed and she was telling me what a great job I am doing, how proud she is of me and how I am a great wife. I know she is gone, but I really felt her presence.

Hi jugsjugs, it is nice to hear from you again. It is sad to hear that you have been in this situation for a long time now, but please let me say that, as humans and as a patients, we have certain rights that medical practitioners should uphold. We have the right to ask about everything the doctors or any health care practitioners do to us. They are just human too and might commit mistakes. Besides doctors and nurses have the obligation to explain every procedure they do to their patients. You have all the right and these medical practitioners knows that. Take care always and keep your faith in God. God Bless!

My friend use to say that her time will come and it did.. I'm still waiting for mine. Hope you will get your time soon.

I too feel this way. But I hear a voice from God that says to just be me. Thats what I live by!

That's not me at all. People had better run things by me, before decisions ae made. I'd rather have my freedom, than peace in the world around me. I am not going to surrender my will to everyone else, just for the sake of calmer waters, so to speak. If you want something, SPEAK UP!!! STAND UP FOR YOURSELF AND YOUR RIGHTS!

yes it certainly can be difficult I know

I know how that is! I can't imagine adding the role of wife and mother to all that as well.

First, let me say, dearheart..it is soooooo very good to hear from you! I am sorry, you have resigned yourself to just going along with all and sundry...but I am reading that you are doing this just for some peace in your life.....but I am truly sorry, NO-ONE is willing to take the time to hear what you have to say. I hope you have the strength soon, to put down your foot, and take back your power!

I understand what you are saying, I've done it myself at times. The strange thing is that when you go along to get along, you feel so out of control. The whole point of agreeing is to have peace but you end up with self-distain, and general resentment for others. No matter what you choose, you're going to suffer some form of discomfort. You just can't win for losing.

That's a form of sacrifice in return for peaceful life. But it doesn't necessary mean it's good. Too much of going along with others will make us lose ourselves in the long run No matter what, we need to think of ourselves instead of thinking of others before us A peaceful life means we have to be at peace with ourselves, find inner peace within us not via others.

My daughter had been doing that with her son for a long time. She has just recently started making him accountable and setting strict boundaries. Things are so much nicer here now. Quieter. I don't have to listen to her yelling and threatening cause she is so upset. She is doing much better and I am really proud of her. I guess you have to do what you have to do.

I am always surprised when I ask, has anyone asked the person what they want? For some reason this is the last asked question. Anyone who is an expert assumes that they know what is best and it is always that word assumes that causes the trouble. Of course I know this is not always possible, sometimes the person in question just can't voice his needs. In that case all we can do is what we do best.

Hello Jugs. I tried to [post this yesterday but myLot wouldn't let me. Better late than never. I see that you must be feeling some what better to be pasting any thing on here, It so frustrating when no one will listen to you, I know most of the Drs I have seen in the last thirty year Only one has really listened to me. Some of the meds that work for me can do a real number on my blood and internal organs. It's not like I'm not aware of that fact. Some Dr.s don't want me to continue on them but I don't want to be totally dependent on ant one else. I know what makes me feel good. I know it is difficult to be strong and stand up for yourself when you don't feel good. When they don't listen it feels like they don't care. Hang in there and keep strong. I'll be praying for you.

yes yes no no can only help in some areas.. But in matters if your body if something is making you feel more sick and more week you have a right to ask.. What are my other treatment options? What else can I do other than pills? .. Where can I get a second opinion? ... You have every right to get opinions and advise from other doctors too or even to change doctors if they are making you sicker and not more well... You have a life to live.. do not let everyone decide for you you have a right to say no I do not like this take me off this and find another solution...or try a different med... it may take tme to wean you off one treatment or med to try another... but if its not helping and making you worse.. its worth it..

Don't do it. Be who you are. Stand up for yourself and don't take any crap from anyone. Don't let Doctors push you around, they can literally kill you. Don't let people project thier weaknesses and fears onto you. Don't be afraid of them. Most people push others around because they are too afraid to be who they really are and are meant to be. They would rather go along with everyone else, just for a peaceful life. Let me ask you, when you fall asleep at night do you feel peaceful for letting people walk all over you? When you go down the wrong path for your soul because someone else said you have to or they won't approve do you feel peaceful? Don't be a lemming jumping off a bridge. Be the one sitting on the hill watching everone else jump. Think about this: While you are busy going along with what everyone else wants do you ever catch yourself pushing someone else away from thier dream? I only ask that because usually what happens is that person who is good and only wants peace, and therefore sacrifices that desire to fit in usually ends up becoming the kind of person who crushes other people's dreams. They may not be that person on the inside, but outwardly that is what they put out to the world.

This is something that seems to happen more to mothers than to other members of a family because of the fact that all we really want in our lives is to have harmony in the household and in the family. I am noticing, however, that now that my children are getting older, I am actually stating what I would like to have happen in my life more often than I used to do in the past. And, amazingly, it has not disrupted the harmony in our home.