My life is purposeless :'( I hate my life :'(
By Chico1793
@Chico1793 (135)
United States
June 15, 2012 11:01pm CST
I am disappointed with the direction my life has taken. I have reached my limit of sadness. Just yesterday all my friends from childhood graduated from high school. I'm so happy for them and wish them only the best. But I was left behind and missed everything. I'm so depressed and feel like leaving this wOrld. Why couldn't I have just pulled through? Why did I let a stupid bully, lack of clothes, my family's financial status, my oral health problem, stupid video games and all electronics, get in the way of my only goal up to date! I hate myself 100% I am a failure all I wanted was to be the first to graduate from my family from a high school and i failed. I wanted to make my parents and 6 brothers proud. How could I let this happen! Y did I let this happen! I really want to cry out loud and hurt myself. I am in the bathroom crying softly while typing this. I know my friends had problems but they pushed through it. I failed miserably at keeping control and staying strong and focused. Most of all, I failed my brother ABEL RIP he was the one who kept me on track. I no longer desire to continue my education it just won't feel the same we only live once GOD I WISH THERE WAS A TIME MACHINE. I regret everything that happened these past 3 years. I'm highly frustrated and depressed I don't want to do a thing. These past three days are the worst days of my life all day every high school I passed through just crowds cheering on the school campuses. Students walking out in their cap n gowns. I wish I didn't get caught up in this ridiculousness and let these things hold me back. I feel it's too late for me. I don't know what to do now with my life I should've been there with my friends. These past few days were horrible can't stop thinking of graduation and failure. It's all my fault and only mines I wish I was there. :'( I can't stop crying
2 people like this
9 responses
@averygirl72 (37845)
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
We can also mourn about our misfortunes. But we shouldn't stay as is. God wouldn't give you a time machine to bring back what you have lost, but God has given you time to change and be improved. Don't give up. TIME is very important. Now that you have realized what important opportunity had passed your life, don't waste the coming opportunities. Surely God wouldn't want to see you suffer for long. You have to make a decision. You have to act now. Many successful people experienced a lot of hardships too. Just look at the past years of your life as a lesson. Problems are meant to teach us lessons, not to bring us down. Your life is not purposeless. The moment you were born, God already had a purpose for you. Positive thinking is very necessary to fight sadness. Cry all you want. But after crying, move on. And do what you have to do.
1 person likes this
@Chico1793 (135)
• United States
16 Jun 12
Y did this happen to my hs experience :'( I wanted this so badly but I've lost joy I really feel crappy I really appreciate your responses but my mind is not at a good spot right now :'( I can't stop thinking about this
@averygirl72 (37845)
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
You're at your grieving stage. There's nothing wrong about that. You need to express out what you truly feel. When you're done at that stage, give yourself the chance to move on and fulfill your dream. There is always hope as long as we live.
@CarlHalling (3617)
• United Kingdom
16 Jun 12
I'm really sorry you're going through this. I can really empathise. In consolation can I say...what you're going through is not uncommon. And: try not to be so hard on yourself about this. I've done similarly, all too many times...taken a decision I'd later deeply, oh so deeply regretted, because I've felt I've let myself and others down: it's a deeply painful feeling. Another thing to console you: although the pain is almost unbearably intense now...it will fade. Slowly at first perhaps. But eventually it will fade and go. Also: you can learn from this. Tell yourself: OK, I made a choice I later regretted this time; but next time it'll be different. You'll have many, many opportunities in life to make things better; work on it; starting now. The important thing as I see it...is not to let this agonisingly painful experience get you down too much. Resolve to get over it; and make things different next time. Tell yourself you can do it. God bless.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (168513)
• Boise, Idaho
17 Jun 12
We all make mistakes. If you want to graduate couldn't you get your G.E.D.? So you have made some bad choices. Have yourself a good cry. I would turn around and start making some small goals and then larger ones until you are out of this situation and have changed your life. Try to do some nice things for yourself. Get some exercise, good food and plenty of sleep and I think you will feel better. Take care.
@1hopefulman (45120)
• Canada
16 Jun 12
Maybe you have learned some important lessons that will help you for the rest of your possible long life. Now you know what to do. Next year will be better. No one is a failure if they keep trying. Here we have a saying: "if at first you don't succeed, try and try again."
Research how many attempts Thomas Edison made until he had a viable light-bulb or haw many attempts Colonel Sanders made before he found somebody that would buy his chicken recipe.
As Winston Churchill once said: "Don't quit!"
@dansazz (1058)
• United States
16 Jun 12
You still have plenty of time to finish highschool, or get a ged and go on to college. It is not cool to say that you feel like leaving this world. You have so much time to make everything right, to make your family proud. Just put your mind to it and you can do it.
@Chico1793 (135)
• United States
16 Jun 12
I can't stand myself right now I wanted to walk the stage this week with my friends of my life I wanted to graduate on time ;( my 1 and only goal went down the drain. Now I'm just 18 n no hs accepts that I feel horrible. Sorry dansazz but I can't help but feel this way :'(
@OYouness (87)
•
17 Jun 12
Failure is not the end of the road my friend. Calm down and think wisely. I personnaly failed many times in my studies and even in some periods of my life but kept stuggling till the end. You have to look at this like a reason that would push you to do more. Try to figure out what was wrong and correct it. I don't deny that it isn't easy to get out of this state of sadness and hate towards yourself because I lived it too, but you have to fight for what you want, and believe me, you will really reach it if you work hard for it.
Your reaction is normal but you shouldn't let it last for long. Think about it: if you won't do anything and just let things go as they are you will deceive again, on one hand, yourself, and on the other hand, your family and your brothers. However, if you stand up, and make efforts to change this, you will be the first who graduates from your family and you will make this latter very proud of you.
My whole point is that failure is a part of life that occurs from time to time and may have some benefits if we know how to deal with it. Try to find out how because you have a long life to live in front of you body!.
@sukumar794 (5040)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
16 Jun 12
Every human being fo that matter even insects have a definite purpose of its own by being born on this earth. Trials and tribulations are part of our existence. The struggle to cope up with difficulties might be arduous ...yet living is a reality to be faced with courage and extraordinary boldness.
@gracie04 (4549)
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
Hi Chico, I feel the same way too. I am turning 27 this September and I have not accomplished anything yet. I am still going to school but hopefully I would be able to finish college this October. i have issues with my family especially with my mom. we are not in good terms since I left home to be with my partner.. moreover, i have been suffering from an illness.. It has been making my life really miserable. I can no longer enjoy things that I used to do before..
@kristiane (112)
• Philippines
16 Jun 12
Everylife has a purpose, maybe you are destined for something else. Cheer up, time is at your side.
