Will you keep friend with a person like her?
By coralguan
@coralguan (58)
China
June 18, 2012 8:09pm CST
I have a friend who was my classmate and we have been together for many years, but we are not spiritual friends at all, eating and shopping are all of content we two have. We have very different growing lives and she even talked my personal life to others, I was unhappy and felt I was injured, I stopped contacting her for a very long time and she found me later, then we were together again.
Lately there was a difficult thing happened to me, some friends helped me even just some words but made we feel warm. The problem now have been solved and I got an extra harvest--I understand more about almost friends around me in my current life. I am not saying that to be our friends that who must help us, I know we should give more happy to our friends, but sometimes things what happen are really a useful way to know clearly that who is worrying of us when we get into trouble.
The classmate I mentioned above never did and said any when she knew my difficulty, I didn`t want her to do anything though I knew she was able to. After that I was with her as before, but these days I increasingly don`t want to see her, because I was unhappy whenever I recall the thing just happened.
No regard and even no simple pleased communication, eating and shopping cannot support the whole friendship, I really don`t know whether have a necessary to be friends with her, though we were classmates.
Am I harsh? Do you agree with me? What is your choice if you was me?
3 responses
@drinkingfountains (36)
• China
19 Jun 12
The true friend may not be the person always around you. But we still need some one to around us to kill time. What i mean is there are kinds of "friend". When we live in the world, some times, we have no choice to choose friend. Yes, we have our mind to like or unlike a person. But to make friend...i don't even can remember how or when i met her or him and for now, we are friends. Some friends, we don't contact with each others for years, but a simple text messge or a QQ message will recall your warm from deep heart. That is truely freindship. It is noble and pure emotion. We purse this type for a long life. According to your situation, that friend of you, really makes you trouble. But do you think, dose she really treat you as a good friend in her heart? Dose she mean to hurt you? And if you cut this relationship, will she feel hurt? Maybe she just a big mouth. I don't know the deep situation, but we also need some one around us. We are social people and will feel alone without any friend around even they are just only normal one but they still can help you feel fun. So make your decision after good consideration. Anyway, nice to meet you.
@coralguan (58)
• China
19 Jun 12
I understand what you said, it is profound. You are right, we cannot be alone as we are social people, from this, I also understand your word of that some friend is just a big mouth, sometimes we don`t need mind it very much.
But she is not, I know her detailedly during ten years. But I will still think of your word carefully, if one could still give me happy and we can give back, why not be together? Even though I wasn`t hopeful to her.
There are always a few true friends in our whole life, even just one or two, but it is enough. The emotion of contacting a friend always special but not strange, I think it might be true friendship.
Good suggestion, thank you very much and really glad to see you too.
@taura2p (349)
• Romania
19 Jun 12
For me, there are two different kind of friends. Some I hang out with, go for a drink from time to time, go to parties, go into journeys, but nothing more profound. And there are those which I can entrust with my own life. Those I can talk with about anything, those who support me in harsh times, and they are always there for me, in moments of joy or sadness. Maybe you should make this separation too.
@coralguan (58)
• China
20 Jun 12
Yeah, that is a good way, perhaps we don`t need every friend with us have a profound communication, if one that we can just do things such like eating and shopping, let it be.
Enjoy a nice day.
@redvakaurvaki (4216)
• Indonesia
19 Jun 12
hello, coral, for a long time I had similar type of friend you had. I'm glad being with her and I'm good listener for her. I don't expect anything but just want her to be my friend who share anything and listen to me too. but she never. for a long time you will understand it's tiring and wasting time to have friend like that, especially if you had tried tell your complain and she never ever try to change. friend must be understand each other and listen each other... friend wouldn't be selfish!
@coralguan (58)
• China
19 Jun 12
Hi, you are saying out my feeling, I think this is because we have the similar experience. It is true, the aim of making friends is not getting something from them, but it is really meaningless if person makes us unhappy.
Save time to do something worthy and to make some frends really nice :)
