I don't like her for him!
@rosesthorns14 (803)
Philippines
June 18, 2012 9:17pm CST
I couldn't explain it but I don't think she's the right one for my younger brother! I don't know her well enough but my impression of her isn't good either. She didn't do anything wrong but I got to know her relationship with a previous partner from my brother and from other sources. She cheated on her ex-boyfriend and flirted with my brother. My brother was at fault too, he stole her away from her ex-boyfriend while the guy was working abroad. But what can I do, they did it to themselves. I can't just help it, at the sight of her being around the house is just so annoying.
For all I know, this guy (her ex-boyfriend) gave so much to this girl, even his sacrifices and love for her. He even helped her finish her college course by sending her money. She used him as a ticket to finish her studies. If they didn't break up, they would have been 9 years steady by 2013. But this girl is so thick-faced, she flirted with my brother and they became an item, she made herself comfortable sleeping at our house and made it look like she resides here every weekends. She helps me with the dishes and cooks lunch for the family. I think that this is just her way of impressing us just to get us to like her. Even with those duties she did, I still don't like her. My brother loves her so much. My mother accepted her into our family because she wants my brother to be happy.
There's a problem on the girl's side though. Her older sister does not know her current relationship with my brother. This older sister favors the ex-boyfriend for her. So to make this short, this girl and my brother made their relationship a secret. She couldn't even defend my brother in front of her older sister.
I don't know her well enough like I've said earlier, but I still don't like her for my brother! I don't even think she loves my brother, she's just using him for security and money (she is unemployed). And because of her past relationship that she's a cheater, she might have this tendency to cheat behind my brother's back in the future.
I wanna mind my own business, but I just had to rant this out!
1 person likes this
10 responses
@Stiletto (4579)
•
19 Jun 12
It's tough when we have to stand by and keep quiet when we think someone we care about is making a mistake but you're right to keep out of it. Of course you have your opinion but it's probably best to stay quiet. Remember relationships are complicated things - it's difficult to really know what happens between two people. Looking into a relationship from the outside doesn't always give us the true picture. It may be that her relationship with her ex was not as it seemed - maybe she wasn't totally the bad guy. A few years ago I split with someone and I know a lot of people blamed me for it. To this day there are some people who still think I'm a total b*tch for ending it, but they didn't know the whole story. He looked like the good guy but trust me - he really wasn't. I don't necessarily think that once a cheater, always a cheater is true. People make mistakes. It may be that she will cheat on your brother but only time will tell. I guess you just have to be ready to pick up the pieces and be supportive if the worst does happen.
1 person likes this
@xmichelletarax (370)
• United States
20 Jun 12
honestly and im sorry if this comes out wrong but i dont think its your place, if your brother likes her which he obiviously does then let them be, you cant control what he does or who he does it with, all you can do is voice your oppionion ONCE to him and if he listens thats great but if he doesnt then let him do what he wants and IF something happens and she hurts him then be there for him but dont try to get him to leave her, dont constantly harp on him about her, just deal with it.
my fiances mother and her side of his family hates me, they refuse to say why and have no actual reason to, they tried everything to get him to leave me and they failed,
it will get to the point that if your brother cares enough about this girl and your always on his back he will do what my fiance did.... my fiance told his family to cut the crap and if they didnt he would just stop talking to them. they dont have to like me but he refuses to go over there and listen to them talk bad about me or pull the little scheams to get him to leave me. he hardly talks to his family anymore for that reason and i would hate to see that happen between you and your brother but it could happen if you get on his back about this girl to much. voice your oppion ONCE then step back and let their relationship take its corse, they could end up together or they could break up, but either way dont risk losing your brother over a girl that you havent taken the time to get to know personally, from what i read most of what you dislike about her is HEARSAY, RUMORS, in other words TOTAL CRAP. sorry just my oppion.
good luck with whatever you do
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
Thanks for your comment. I already voiced out my opinion to him once and another poster here was right, my brother wouldn't listen but instead of not talking to me he told me that he'll take my advice seriously. Actually those what I dislike about her is NOT a HEARSAY, RUMORS and in other words TOTAL CRAP because my brother told me about his girl's past relationship, who she is, her background and everything and admitted to me that he stole her away from her ex-boyfriend. But anyway, thank you very much for your opinion.
@GardenGerty (160879)
• United States
19 Jun 12
They will make their own choices, but I cannot blame you for being unhappy about it. If she will cheat on one guy she will cheat on the next one. It is a hared lesson that I think your brother will probably be learning.
@jaiho2009 (39141)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
I don't know her either and I cannot judge her totally.
Just reading your post gives me the idea that she's kind of cheater.
Imagine the 9 years and how the ex-boyfriend supported her.
Anyway, was it an ex- or is it still them.
I mean, does the first boyfriend knows about this already or he is still innocent about this matter?
If the first bf still doesn't know about this- since the older sister still in favor with the first boyfriend, then, I can say that this girl is indeed a flirt.
But if the first bf already knows about this and had set her free, maybe that is another story.
Although, this seems to be complicated.
How easily she dumped the first bf who made sacrifices, she's not showing a good reputation in this manner.
I cannot blame you for feeling indifferent towards her- she looks suspicious for me either.
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
The ex already knows that he was cheated on while he was far away and he couldn't do anything to fix their relationship because it was her choice to end their relationship after she admitted that she is dating my brother.
Thanks for understanding my rant. I really don't feel good with her around the house.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
19 Jun 12
I can relate to what your saying and I would have a hard time trusting her as well since you do know her past of cheating. People do change every now and then. She might not change but she just might.
I have someone that one of my siblings chose that I am not crazy about either. But there is nothing I can do. There is just something about him I do not like or trust. Plus he was so phony in the beginning that we all thought he was someone completely different than his true colors.
I hope she does not hurt your brother. I hope he finds out sooner than later about her so it doesn't hurt quite as much...
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
I really hope that she would change and wouldn't dare hurt my brother. Like you, there's nothing I could do because I can see that my brother is happy and his girl could please him. Despite that, there is something about her that I do not like or trust. Thank you so much for commenting! 
@madonna2012 (62)
• Philippines
20 Jun 12
hello,
i appreciate your concerns for your brother. although its not your business but your family will be affected if things would go wrong in your brothers life. i know that your brother will not listen to reasons right now because he is in love. do you have other siblings that share your sentiments? also, that siblings does not know the girls past, if ever she/he shares your feelings without knowing about this girl firsthand then maybe your intuition about this girl is right.
try to talk to the girl and find out what really happened to her past relationship, try to assess if she is telling the truth. be openminded and try to put your self in her shoes, in that way you can really assess the situations fairly. though we have different judgement of the situation let us not forget God is With us and He can show us the way.
i hope and pray that my message someways may help you.
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
Hello! There's just the two of us, I and my younger brother. I asked the girl a month ago if her older sister knows about her relationship with my brother, she said "yes" but her expression said otherwise. One time we were going back home from the supermarket, we decided to drop her at her residence but she requested to stop the van at the other side of the road so as nobody would see her coming out of our van. As she climbed out of the vehicle, she rushed inside their home and didn't even look back. What was that? Was she trying to hide us from her family?
She wouldn't open at all even if I ask her about her past relationship. We're not really close, she's closer to my brother so she would tell him everything. Thank you for the comment :)
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
24 Jun 12
This is a tough one. On one hand you want your brother to be happy but on the other you are scared of what he will have to deal with. It is never easy when put in this position. I definitely think the red flag is the secretive nature of the relationship. If they are going to be together, the girl needs to stand up and be proud of her choice.
@LetranKnight25 (33121)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
You have the right to opinion and to be concern to your younger brother. but of course at the end of the day, you will have to accept it and support you're brother or he might hate you some day. but you know, if he's not blind then he might listen to you, there's nothing wrong with telling something to your brother. but try to trust this woman as we are all human and commit mistakes. this has happened to both of my siblings, my mom didn't like both sis in laws but in time he got along with them just fine
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
Hello! In due time, I would try. I hope she wouldn't hurt my brother as he has been unlucky in his past relationships. Thank you for your comment ;)
@toniganzon (72517)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
I can feel you. I don't like my older brother's girlfriend as well. They already have a son which is about the same age as my son. Until now i still doubt if that son is y brother's indeed. She had a bad reputation and she still hasn't changed that, she still has it. She has had abortion when she was 16 and my brother admitted that to me. She still kept on meeting other men that my brother know nothing about. But not until i have proof or concrete evidence I don't want to tell my brother anything.
I did try to tell him when they were just starting a relationship. My brother misunderstood that i was just jealous so he told me he was never gonna marry her. I talked to the girl myself and i told her she needs to prove me wrong but until now, she hasn't done that.
@rosesthorns14 (803)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
Hi toni! Glad to know that I am not alone feeling this way. Now I keep reminding myself that this shouldn't be my problem but my brother's. But really, I can't help feeling annoyed when she's around the house. I don't trust her.
By the way, thanks for commenting!
@chicgale (2982)
• Philippines
19 Jun 12
What you feel right now is normal because I felt the same with my brother's partner. All you have to do is to hope that this girl won't hurt your brother someday. If I am a sister of your brother also, I will not trust that girl also for him because of what she did to her ex.
