Moving forward with someone that cheated on you

I know that if anybody cheated on me, there was no way that I was going to be able to forget about what they'd done because I think that it would play on my mind for a long time. If you're going to stay with somebody who did this, you really do need to be able to forget about it, because if you can't do this then you're just going to be bringing it into every argument that you have, and this wouldn't be any good for either of you in the long term. I have more respect for myself than to be with somebody who would treat me like that anyway, so you wouldn't catch me moving forward with them at all.

My friend I have experience this personally very recently. In fact everything happened over a course of 4 months. For me it would depend on the circumstances whether or not I could forgive, and in my particular case after everything was on the table I forgave my wife completely and she ran away from that sin and has shown nothing but remorse and regret since. If cheating occurs there is always some sort of other underlying problem going on, and once you decide whether or not you want to stay in the marriage you must then tackle the reasons WHY it happend. This may be painful, because obviously NOTHING is a good enough reason to CHEAT on your spouse, but understanding their thought process may help you to meet their needs better in the future. My wife has done nothing but make leaps and bounds and I have learned a tremendous amount from this experience, even though it was the most painful of my entire life BY FAR. I was constantly sick for about a month and completely emotionally distraught for about 2 months. My wife was deeply manipulated by the other guy (who happened to be my "best friend"....typical) who at first thought maybe he was helping. Then he got it into his idea that I wasn't supposed to be with my wife and HE was. So he started trying to sneak his way in between our relationship and take over roles which were my duty, and she ended up confiding in him with frustrations she had in our marriage that at first was innocent developed into something horrible and terrible. Of course the other guy would just justify all her feelings, even if some of the problem was her. So she felt completely justified in the way she thought about me and it was a horrible messy situation. We are completely out of it now and have been going to counseling since feb. I would STRONGLY recommend you find a good counselor who can help you through this if you decide to stay married. It is a horrible thing to have to experience, but I STRONGLY believe that good can come out of it. In my wifes case, once she crossed the line with this other guy, she woke up and KNEW how wrong it was. That line was only crossed once, and her cries and screams of sorrow are proof enough for me to know she is being honest. Especially after months of counseling, lying at this point would be pointless. If in your situation your spouse was cheating over a long period of time and completely bitter and cold towards you then it will be especially hard to move forward. But if you are both willing to make it work and WANT to stay together, DO EVERYTHING YOU CAN TO PRESERVE YOUR MARRIAGE! You will both grow SO MUCH from this horrible sin and mistake in your lives. I wish you the best! Feel free to responde!

HI nakshep32, Each relationship is different. It's not easy to trust a person who has lied and cheated on you. It's difficult to regain that broken trust again. But sometimes you give that person a chance. You forgive them and stayed, not only because of "marriage is for better or worse" philosophy, but also for your children. But once you decide to stay, there's a lot of work to be done. Both parties need to play their part to regain that trust. It's easier to forgive, but difficult to forget. Even if you feel that you want to betray him to take revenge, don't ever stand that low. You're in a different league. I'm still with my husband. He cheated on me a couple of years back. It was painful. When I recall the incident, I still cry. But he is making an effort, even though sometimes it may not be equivalent to the sacrifice I have made for him and the family. But I check on him from time to time. Recently, I noticed that he has been texting a girl at his workplace. Harmless chat, I see. But nevertheless, I took the opportunity to "blast" at him. I often use sarcasm and related a certain "someone" who did so and so, and it was right for that someone's wife to ditch him and move on because that "someone" never learnt his lesson. He instantly toned down. Sometimes these men need some reminders. I seriously do not know how long my relationship will last. It's all in God's hands. But many people felt that I was being magnanimous by accepting him back. Many would have dumped their husbands. I remind myself that it will never happen a second time. In this way, I could still continue with my life without too much stress. But at the same time, I'm ready if I need to take flight.

It's hard even if you are not married yet. Unfortunately, lately I have seen a great number of cases when the girl has been cheated on. Some of them forgave the guys, some of them are still fighting to find an answer. I guess that it depends on each of us. I don't know what I would do to be put in such a situation. I always said that I would not be able to forgive, but... I really don't know. The greater the love, the greater the disappointment, and the harder to make a decision.

I've experienced to be cheated before with my past relationship, is very painful a and I dont want to happened it again to me because I might break down or worst put them to jail when I caught them in action. Trust always be the number one in a marriage and it hard to regain when is already broken and without it the marriage will never work.

I dealt with that a long time ago, and all I can remember is unhappiness. Trust is like a mirror, if it was broken once, it will never be fixed even if you can glue it stuff like that, the traces were still there. I just ended up breaking up with the guy. Sorry to tell, I do not like cheaters, 'cause been there, done that! and it's really a mess :D

It is for better or worse when married but to a point. It doesn't mean you have to stay in the marriage. For me if my hubby cheated on me I think it would be over. I could never trust him again. I would be asking him why he cheated on me and why he had to hurt me. I always told him if he ever even had a thought of cheating on me I want to know before. Because that means something else in our marriage is going wrong. Nobody should be in a relationship where the other person feels like they should cheat on the other.

hi nakshep, I think it is very difficult to trust someone who has betrayed you, but I do think that if you love this person it can eventually be done. I don't think there is a magic time, But I am one of those minority people who really believe time heals all...Just like when someone you love that has passsed away,,it hurts terribly but time really does heal all...I just don't think because someone did something as betrayal should be condemned forever.. I believe in God and he is surely the man and if he can forgive then certainly can I..I am not saying its going to be easy but over time I would be ok...If its someone I really love I will forgive them, Now by the time he/she has earned my trust he/she might wish they had just not asked for forgiveness....LOL