Do you think that I shall write to my dad?

Hello, youless I am sorry to hear of the state of the relationship with your Dad. Writing to him may be a good idea for you. Even if you never send him the letter, it may be good for you to say all the things that you need to say to him. This is a good way to organize your thoughts and assess how things are with your life and in how you and he relate. In this way, even if you never send him the letter, you could find yourself in a stronger position. I am curious as to what is the LV Bag?

I'm sorry I am late coming to this post. It is all up to you . Dad will keep saying these things if you Don't say anything. I know there is a culture divide. Over here there are daughters And sons who haven't spoken to their parents over less. Just because he is your dad Does not give him the right to demean you abd your choices. I don't men he should agree 100% of the time with them but he Should be supportive. Over here Many see that a parent can not or will not be supportive , just walk away. I think you should follow your heart. Do what will make You feel better , not him! You do not deserve this. See I am a big mouth , Stubborn Daughter. If my dad said this to me. I would say, Do you Mean you Want me to be homeless? Will that Really make you happy? I'm sorry I am not the son you wanted or even the daughter you expected! And then I would walk away and it would be up to him If he Ever wsnted to speak to me again or not. And When he Does come over , He Better apologize or I will walk away again!

Not all relations parent-children are the same. And in each case, there´s no way another person can give you a sound advise. I can tell you what I would do, but then, maybe if I were on your shoes, I would not do that either. I have polite but not close relations with my mother. I got tired a long time ago to accept being hurt by her. So now I just don´t mind. So if she now said that if she had my ability she´d be in the street, I would reply: Arent you happy that you are not me? Take care.

I am not sure if I am in your place. I might end up like you- do not know which one I should do- face and speak to him to write it or just leave it. These days older people are so hard to listen to the younger. Even if not all of them, but mostly they refused to listen to the younger. That is what happened when I try to talk to my older siblings or my parents. If I say back to them, they will easily get upset, sad and can't accept it even if it is true but if we just keep it they will say that we are not willing to share and say what we feel to them. We do not want to hurt them but sometimes what they said might hurt our feeling. For me it is dare enough if you could write to him to say what you feel.

Well, everyone will be upset when hearing such words from his or her family. As far as i am concerned, what your dad said must be careless words. Maybe he is not satisfied with your current financial situation. Yet I don't think a father would mock his child deliberately in that way. To my mind, a short open-minded conversation is enough. Words on the paper might make things worse. What do you say?

hi youless, i think you should write to your dad. i read it in another response that you mention you can't speak to your dad personally as emotions will get the better of you and you will start crying. i do have the same issue as you face. i can't speak face to face when i have issues with them as i am very touchy. small little things and you can see my tears. it's definitely not going to work well conversing when we have tears around. however, i think maybe you can tell you dad about how you feel about his comments. maybe he's just had a bad day and that's why he said that? however, if it's a very common occurance. then i think it's really time for you to let him know. i don't see anything wrong with having an ordinary life. as long as your family is happy, i see no need no need to buy any LV bag or Cartier for that matter. as long as you are contented, you are rich. money does not mean everything and it definitely does not mean happiness. as long as you and your husband are hardowrking and are having a fulfilling life, carry on wtih your life!

Wow youless...where can I begin to think of the right words to say in this situation? I don't know your Dad, or your family for that matter. I can relate to you in this situation in a couple of ways. I haven't relied on my family since I graduated high school. I am not married, but I have a "live-in" boyfriend and we have ben together for a loooong time, maybe too long. He is not financially responsible, and I would probably be much better off without him, but I have lived with him so long, he almost seems like family, but because of him, I cannot visit my family, as I am afraid to even go on vacation and leave him alone, for fear that the bills won't get paid on time. Plus, although I work from home, I do not own a car, so I am stuck with him to take me where I need to go. He sleeps all day and has zero energy for just about anything. It is depressing. This is not who I thought he was when I asked him to move in with me originally. I have never been married and have no children(my bf was told by a doctor when he was only 18 that it would be almost impossible to have children). Despite the fact that my bf cannot help me financially other than pay his half of the rent, I somehow manage to save a little. I am trying to save up for a car, but I really want a hybrid or electric car, because I watch a LOT of documentaries and it is scary what the future holds if the world runs out of fuel. I was never told the same type of sentence by a family member(that is way hurtful)but I have been hurt by my family. I tend to over budget when it comes to money. I just do this automatically. So, sometimes I feel like I don't have enough money for things, when I really do. I never ask my Mom for money. I don't have a father-he abandoned us when we were small. I needed to borrow only $25 because I had to go to the dentist. She caused me to get into a heated argument with her over the $25, because I only needed to borrow the money for ONE WEEK....one week. She knew that I had a job and was working. And, still, would NOT let me borrow the $25. This really made me angry, because I was only going to borrow the money until I got paid, but my dentist appointment was something I needed to get done right away, and I didn't want to reschedule. She knew I needed to go, but kept making me beg her for the money(all my friends moved away, otherwise I would have asked them). And, she didn't give me the money. By the way, she was going to drive me to my appointment, because I don't have a car, and my bf had to work. I got so mad at my Mom, I avoided talking to her until the day before the appointment. I realized I had over-budgeted, and actually didn't need the loan afterall. I had about $30 extra 'till payday. I didn't tell her this right away, though. I think she realized how upset she made me, and she suddenly had a change of heart and started acting like a caring mother. She offered me the loan. Then I told her I didn't need it afterall. I had to work myself up emotionally and prepare for the dentist, and it was too exhausting, and for $25 I didn't even need. But it did teach me one thing:I have no one to turn to when I really need money. And do you think I would ever ask my Mother for a loan again? It just puzzles me, because she actually paid my sister's rent for an entire year because she was unable to find a job. A Year! My family has since moved very far away from me, and I mostly avoid talking to them. I used to have a cell phone, but my sister never called me, not even on my birthday. So, to save money, and also because my family can't even help me, I got rid of the damn phone. My Mother doesn't even ask her to call me, even though I told her it really depresses me when my own sister won't call me for 6 months or even a year. She always says that my sister is busy, or some excuse. But, last time I asked about her, she told me her boyfriend pays ALL the bills and my sister has no job. It's kind of my Mom's fault. My sister has been "babied" her whole life and always got what she wanted. I never really had much of a choice, or any help from my family, and had to carve my own path out, which was usually crooked most of the time. I even have an aunt and some cousins I have never met, because those people suck donkey balls and are terrible people because they have no concept of what family is or should be and wouldn't give me a drink of water if I was Rango in the desert. But, I digress. Anyway, I feel your pain.

Youless, it is pity that your father didn't understand your situation. You can write letter explaining your opinion to him. And see how is his reaction. When both of you are ready and wants to discuss this matter more openly, then both of you should speak face to face. Hopefully, you will be able to solve your this confusion with your father. Good luck to you, friend.

Why not speak with him in person. It is better to let go of something inside you. I know it is not easy to do, but once and for all, it is better to drain everything inside your heart and mind before it is too late.

I think it is better to talk to your dad personally. Ask him if he has any with you or your husband. Maybe he has a reason why he said it or he has a misunderstanding on something. I hope you can work things out with your dad :)

I think it would be best if you talk to him face to face so he would really know you can't take insults anymore. Sometimes parents expect too much from us. Maybe because they think they raised us good enough so they expect a lot without looking at their own faults. I hope things would be better between you and your dad and hope you can tell him how you truly feel about what he said.

I think some parents think they can say whatever they want to us because they are older and our parents. I think it is wrong. What your father said to you was mean and hurtful and I see no reason for it at all. That would have hurt me too but like you if I get too angry I just cry which doesn't help our case. I would write too. That way you can freely speak your mind without showing your emotions or letting your emotions get in the way. Keep proving him wrong though, your obviously not in the street and you should be proud that your doing the best you can. =)

Hi, At this moment you can just observe him and try to understand what he actually meant by saying such words. May be he has something else in his mind about you and your husband and want you to improve your lifestyle. Give him some more time and discuss with him what he expects out of you/your husband. In one way, he is under estimating your abilities, this time he may not take your emotional note seriously but you have to tell him success can't be achieved over night. Again, if you choose to write to him, also think twice about its effects on him. Do you think he will give it due importance or just think you are still childish... You can also discuss with your husband and take a decision.

I think first of all you need to find out what made you dad to tell you so. Anyway as a father if has the right and the power to question or tell you anything and you should be the one who should listen at him. I think this will make him too happy.