Isn't it ok for men to have a list too?

Hello sarahruthbeth22 What's good for the goose is good for the gander, eh? I am fortunate in that I wasn't even aware / had not even thought of developing a list until after I met Mrs. Turner and realized that she is the definition of all that I could ever hope for in a mate.

I figured there was only one thing on a guy's list - good looking. When I was younger there was really only two things I was looking for, him being a Christian and being taller than me. lol I've been 5'11 since I was 13 and always feared ending up with a Barney Rubble.

Maybe a mental list but not written down on paper, that is so tacky and pretentious. Everyone has an idea of what they are looking for... example: good with children(if they want children or already have them) good in bed ( doesn't have to be a pro but it helps) just a good person in general. all they other stuff isn't that important like nice car, fancy clothes, etc.... and I'm using examples i am sure there are other things to add that are important i just can't think of any but feel free to add to the list.

For me it's okay for both men and women to have a list of character traits of their ideal partner. It is just a list anyway and more often this list does not really apply to the partner or mate they end up with. I too had a list of traits of a boyfriend i want to have but i ended up with a man having only three of the character traits i wanted. Sometimes we end up with a person we do not like at first.

Oh yes absolutely, I think it not just 'okay', but good for a guy to have a list of his own. It shows that he has given lots of thought into what kind of person he wants to spend his life with. I know I have a mile-long list of attributes that I want in my future husband. If the man I want to marry loves me truly, he would work towards achieving as much of the attributes on my list as possible. I would not mind changing some things in my life for the one I love, if he has a list too. I would be privileged to fit that list. You might say, why change ourselves to be someone we are clearly not? I cannot become 'kind' or 'humble' if I am not that person, but I can definitely be 'a good cook', 'a great friend', couldn't I? All depends on the list. But its a novel idea for men to have lists too.

I think it is okay for both sexes to have a list of their ideal mate, although sometimes I think these lists can be crazy. I mean no one is perfect, so how can we expect that of any one else. I mean we all have things we won't tolerate, and I'm not saying that anyone should feel they're settling in a relationship, but lists should be reasonable - at least to me. Maybe I'm too practical to be much of a romantic. lol

If you want a list doesn't matter what gender you are....have a list....but I bet it would make it just a bit more difficult to find someone to fill all the requirements.

I think it's great that a man seeking a woman has a list too. He has to know what he wants just as the girl should know what she wants. However, I think the problem with this particular guy is that he expected a lot of his future wife. He kept calling her a "trophy" wife. I don't know about you, but that to me sounds like the girl is a prize to be won or something to put on a shelf and only use it when needed. I think Ryan did expect a lot of Emily, but I think he would expect the same out of any girl. I don't think he was denied the rose because of his list. I think it's great that he had a list! I think it's because Emily didn't see a future with him. She did think he had too high expectations, and I'd have to agree. He also caught me as a bit self centered too. However, I'm sure he's a nice guy in person. Maybe it's just the way he comes off on camera. Some people seem a bit conceited on camera, but it could be a way of handling the nerves lol. I thought he was a nice guy and deserved the first date and the first second date, as he put it haha. It was an interesting episode this last week...

i personally think it is perfectly for guys to have a list too. all of us are humans, it is only natural that everybody will have a list where they have an ideal. they definitely have the right to have a list of traits of the ideal mate for themselves. no doubt

Lots of people have a mental list of what their ideal partner should be. But having a list I think is retarded. Everyone has a certain taste in people. Some men like asian girls, or black girls, or italian girls, whatever, and girl have the same kind of taste. When it comes down to what kind of qualities, thats where it gets to be a sticking point. Not everyone is going t find that perfect someone. There is no such thing as perfect. And everyone is different. It comes down to the basics, are they compatible together, do they get along and the big one, ask ourself one question, can I live with this person for the rest of my life.

I don't think it had anything to do with his list at all. She made the right decision. See, before his list he told her she better not get fat or he wont love on her anymore. He constantly said he wants a trophy wife to her so of course she felt perfection was the only option for her. But she is a mother, we don't always have time before we go somewhere to look like a "trophy wife". Mothers have enough work to make sure our children are taken care of. She might not always be thin like she is now, there are far more important things than being thin or fat. He was a shallow guy plain and simple. With him I think all of it combined was her issue, not just the list. A lot happened before that episode with him. He was a jerk and I applaud her for sending him home.

I think its normal and okay for a guy to have an list of what he wants in a women. I don't think its far if one gender can have one but the other can't. Men don't just want a women that they find attractive some men want more and a list is a prefect way to know what you do and do not want. When your with the right person it won't matter if your prefect or not because to your ideal mate they will feel your perfect enough for what they want in a partner. Men no what they want just as much as women do.

I think there's nothing wrong for us men to have a list But I guess we(men) don't make one on a piece of paper unless we are told to do so. For me I have my ideal mate list on my head for safe keeping, because I guess I don't feel so manly about it

Yeah of course men too have the right of choosing the girl of their dreams. Men too can have their own list of the attributes that they look out in a girl.

Having a list is being an idealist and it means your expectations are unrealistic. A list is usually all positives and no-one, man or woman is that good. We all have as many negative traits as we do positive ones. I think this kind of list is immature. You can meet someone and have a connection and he is nothing like your list but you go with your feelings anyway.

hi sarahruthbeth yes I guess it is okay the list is actually valid I mean no matter how good or pretty a woman is she is human and all humans make mistakes. now if the list gives doable qualities fine. yes woman have lists too and my hubby fulfilled my list. he loved kids and dogs and cats, had a great sense of humor and respected women so that was neat. He was attractive but not Hollywood handsome and so what, it was what he was that attracted me to him,,. not outer looks at all.

I think it's alright to have a short list. But I feel like a long list, with what someone wants in a person's looks, etc - is a little overkill if you ask me. You can't be too picky, because then you might shut yourself off from an opportunity to get to know someone who could really suit you. I don't think we know our *type*'s to the tee, just because, who knows what kind of person will have the best chemistry and compatibility with us? I have a very short list. Must have a job. Must have a car (otherwise I would be driving them around all the time - ugh). Must not be a free loader. Must be somewhat attractive (to me). Must have a sense of humor and not take things too seriously. That's about it! I have never watched the Bachlorette but I would imagine they WOULD have an incredibly picky list. I mean look at them! They barely look like "regular people" - they look like freakin' celebrities! And they are on a TV show to find a girlfriend! They must be pretty darn picky!

There is nothing wrong with a guy having a list. It is just a way of the letting someone know your expectations and deciding whether she is ready to keep up with your expectation or not.

Yes they have the right to make their own list for their ideal mate. My husband has his own list but I dont, but is okay because were already married and those list was only a list which he want to reads once in a while. I believe that both male and female has equal right in everything in thing world

I think it's perfectly acceptable for a guy to have a "list" of the ideal partner. It shows maturity and foresight for him, and that he understands what he wants in his life. Now... Having a physical list and bringing it out on a date... That's just a bad idea. Kind of like when cousins marry.