People who constantly take advantage... ARGH!
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
Canada
June 21, 2012 2:09pm CST
My 18 year old is a full-time student. She created her own part-time job by becoming a math tutor. She currently has 5 students during the week. One of her students has many behavioral and learning difficulties. However, my daughter has experience working with students with similar challenges and she was willing to take him on at the same rate as her other students, in spite of it being much more difficult and a lot more work. I'm honestly getting fed up with his mother. I really feel she is taking advantage.
Recently, she called my daughter and asked her if there was any chance she would also be interested in a housecleaning job. The mother has health problems, too, and she cannot do the upkeep of her home. She offered $60 for my daughter to clean the "common areas" of her house -- livingroom, bathrooms, kitchen, etc. The first cleaning was last Thursday.
They have a big dog that sheds like crazy and she arrived at their home to find out nothing had been vacuumed for at least a month. The woman has tons of "collectibles" and she wanted every one be picked up and cleaned during dusting. Rather than taking a couple of hours, my daughter was there all day. She is a very thorough cleaner, judging by what she does here at home, and she worked hard. It ended up the mother paid her $100 instead and told her they wanted her weekly, not every second week as originally agreed.
Last night, the mother called here and told my daughter to forget it, that they aren't going to keep her for cleaning. She said, among things, that it took her too long to do the job. Their home was filthy! Apparently, they have so much junk all over the place that they had to shift piles of clutter just so she could clean and vacuum.
My daughter believes (and I agree with her) that the woman just wanted her house cleaned that one time and made it appear to be an ongoing job so she would go and do the work. Now that the house is in good shape for awhile, she calls the night before the next scheduled cleaning and drops her and tells her "no hard feelings?"
This isn't the first time I think my daughter's been taken advantage of by this woman... she also let it slip that she gets money from the government to get tutoring services for the son and she only pays my daughter $10/hour. She was given the same rate as the other families who don't get the government's assistance. She told my daughter once how she's a "great deal" 
I've suggested she drop this family completely because they are just using her... but it's also the only income she makes while she's in school so she's hesitating. Argh!! 
If she were your daughter, would you advise her to quit too?
I've suggested she drop this family completely because they are just using her... but it's also the only income she makes while she's in school so she's hesitating. Argh!! If she were your daughter, would you advise her to quit too?1 person likes this
5 responses
@RawBill1 (8531)
• Gold Coast, Australia
22 Jun 12
I think that for the sake of integrity that I would want her to quit. There will always be another employer in the future who is honest and who respects her. 
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
23 Jun 12
That is my biggest criticism, if you will, RawBill. I don't feel she is being respected for the hard work she has done and continues to do. It's as if the mother expects her to be at her beck and call, simply because she is young. She waves money around and expects my daughter to jump. My daughter has tried to be respectful and understanding and has repeatedly bent to accommodate their family's schedule and more... however, I don't feel she receives this in return. In any case, I've suggested strongly that she drop them. I do believe she is only waivering because she needs the money and feels unsure that she will find a replacement for him right away. I think she is adopting a "better the devil that you know" attitude and I don't believe that's healthy (or a wise choice) in this case 
@niairen01 (1018)
• Philippines
22 Jun 12
I think you were blessed with an independent hard working kid. I don't think you should let her quit. Just tell her not to take anymore job from the family that you mention. There are loads of other people there. Tell her that it is good to keep up with this kind of job but should also be mindful about how she is being treated. People will take advantage of other people who let themselves to be treated as such.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
22 Jun 12
Thank you, niairen01! I am definitely blessed with this girl... she is such a light in my life 
She will not give up tutoring completely, that is for sure... she has other students besides this boy and she is very devoted to helping them through. She is very gentle and kind-hearted and I believe it's easy to take advantage of her good nature. She is not as strong as she wants to be and she has a high desire to help people -- particularly those who are challenged in some way. She was a prefect in her high school, volunteering her time to help other students, and she asked to be placed with the teens that have mental, physical and learning disabilities. She felt that was where she could be of the most help. Knowing she is this kind of person, it makes me even more vigilant that people don't take advantage of her. I will be very happy if she just drops that one family. I'm waiting for her to make that decision... cross your fingers that she does!
She will not give up tutoring completely, that is for sure... she has other students besides this boy and she is very devoted to helping them through. She is very gentle and kind-hearted and I believe it's easy to take advantage of her good nature. She is not as strong as she wants to be and she has a high desire to help people -- particularly those who are challenged in some way. She was a prefect in her high school, volunteering her time to help other students, and she asked to be placed with the teens that have mental, physical and learning disabilities. She felt that was where she could be of the most help. Knowing she is this kind of person, it makes me even more vigilant that people don't take advantage of her. I will be very happy if she just drops that one family. I'm waiting for her to make that decision... cross your fingers that she does!
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
21 Jun 12
thinkingoutloud I am totally in agreement with you. that woman just used your daughter and took real advantages of her willingness and her youth too. She did not see that the woman was just using her
which is so sad. I would also tell her to drop this woman completely as she really is just using her. I tell you this,have your daughter tell her the rates gone up for tutoring the woman's child and you will see that woman skedaddle out of the agreement so fast it will make one's head swim. let her find others to tutor who will not take
advantage of her. good luck and God bless.
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
22 Jun 12
Hatley, thank you! 
We must be kindred spirits because I was thinking the same thing. I told her to let the mother know that, come the beginning of the new school year, her rates have increased. It's totally reasonable to do that anyway, after a period of time, so I said if they don't like the increase, they can find someone else. My daughter is a really good tutor... all of her students are succeeding now in both their class work and final exams... so for $10 an hour, they're getting an awfully good bargain.
I do think you're right that the woman is taking advantage because my daughter is young. Although 18 might not seem young these days, she's a really sensitive, quiet girl. She is really respectful, as well, and I suspect she might have felt a bit pressured to "be nice" to the mother and to help her -- especially because she hears all the time how the woman is unwell. I think she has had her eyes opened now but, all things considered, I still hate to see her cry when her feelings have been really hurt I guess that never goes away, no matter how much they've grown.
We must be kindred spirits because I was thinking the same thing. I told her to let the mother know that, come the beginning of the new school year, her rates have increased. It's totally reasonable to do that anyway, after a period of time, so I said if they don't like the increase, they can find someone else. My daughter is a really good tutor... all of her students are succeeding now in both their class work and final exams... so for $10 an hour, they're getting an awfully good bargain.
I do think you're right that the woman is taking advantage because my daughter is young. Although 18 might not seem young these days, she's a really sensitive, quiet girl. She is really respectful, as well, and I suspect she might have felt a bit pressured to "be nice" to the mother and to help her -- especially because she hears all the time how the woman is unwell. I think she has had her eyes opened now but, all things considered, I still hate to see her cry when her feelings have been really hurt I guess that never goes away, no matter how much they've grown.
@katsmeow1213 (28716)
• United States
23 Jun 12
I certainly understand your frustration and I would be angry with these people as well. However, I think your daughter is right to not make any rash decisions just because these people are doing something inappropriate. She is getting paid, and she agreed to the pay rate although she knew there would be more work involved. If it were a normal job, say at a fast food place, there too she'd be paid the same rate whether she had nothing to do because it was slow or if she had a ton to do because it was busy.
As for the cleaning, I think you are looking at it the wrong way. You should be happy they paid her more than they said they would. I'd be more upset if they'd only paid her the $60 agreed upon for all the work she did. At least she was compensated and no longer has to clean that house again. I certainly would not want to return after learning exactly how much work there was to do there, regardless of the pay.
If she does decide she is unhappy tutoring this child, I would first suggest she up her rate of pay for this one particular person. She can tell them she needs a raise based on his learning disabilities or based on her own personal needs and let them decide whether they want to pay her more for her services or just leave and find someone else. That way she at least has an opportunity to earn more from him instead of just outright quitting.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
5 Jul 12
How did things turn out? I definitely would have advised her to quit, but I also would have had to think about who it was really harming. The student with special needs would be the one to lose in the situation, not the mother. The tutoring could mean the difference between the son succeeding in life and getting away from the mother or not.
