Was I wrong for not inviting her?
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
June 23, 2012 8:58pm CST
We are having a girls weekend mid July right now its my Mom, sister, SIL, my brothers younger girlfriend, and college roomate.
Each person pays the night fee ( the site), and gas as well (split it). You bring your own snacks i.e. chips, candy, whatever also drinks including alcohol. But we split the cost of food like breakfast, lunch, and dinner.
This lady is on disability (the same lady that everything was shut off), she claims she has no money and wont pay. The last camping trip I ended up paying her share and have yet to see that money she keeps prmoising me.
I went by her house, she really see how the cat was doing (I feel sorry for it), it has an eye infection, and sneezing yet sshe has yet to take it to the vet (and she wont).
She was asking what I was doing, and I tried not to say too much. She was basically trying to get me to invite her and ignored her. I just said Im not planning it, and I dont know much details. Noone else will put up with her bs of not paying especially if its a large amount like a weekend away.
I personally think she would just be a burden, and well hassle. Noone will get a long with her, and annoyed with her nicely mooching off them (she will be so nice about it sometimes you wont even realize it).
3 people like this
9 responses
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Honestly? I would not even think to invite her. I mean I may feel bad for her, and her cats but if she can't get her act together and NOT mooch, then it's nobody's fault but her own.
I know you wanted to go see the cat and how it's doing, but I know that'd be the hardest / most awkward thing for me to do when I was trying to act like I wasn't planning on going on a trip.
1 person likes this
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
24 Jun 12
That would be so hard to turn around and leave the cat in her care.. that's like leaving a little helpless baby with an abuser and walking away... not anything she could have done really.. but it tears the heart out. I've heard of people just getting really ticked off and taking the cat, and if the person tries to stop the rescuer, the rescuer says they will turn them in for neglect or abuse.
I know Ricki has more than she can handle now... but it breaks my heart to hear about things like that.
My dog loves the outside.. she's an outside dog... she has a nice 'hotel' big kennel outside and sil has fashioned it with a roof on more than half of it so she won't get sun burned.. the other part is open on top so she can get sun if she wants to. SIL goes in each night and cleans up the poo so her pen is clean. When she was inside the other house she was very destructive.. she wanted out.
They take her for walks every day... I can't do it cause she pulls too hard...
Anyway... back to the discussion... I wouldn't have invited her either.
@bunnybon7 (50973)
• Holiday, Florida
25 Jun 12
omg, she sounds like my sons ex that I have written on here about a few yrs ago. I called Agra. she was the only friend i had willing to come by and see me some times. even tho she took advantage, i kept her for years. shes like that. you dont even realise till later shes taken advantage because she makes you feel sorry for her.
anyway, kudos for not breaking down. I wouldnt have invited her either
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
25 Jun 12
About a year ago I use to fall for this, but now I see how she is. Such as today she called me and said she's buying herself a $400 daughter pride ring yet she can't afford food (she gets it from the food bank) or her bills. I asked if she wanted to go to Futureshop with me, she need cord for her vhs. So I was going literaly by her doorstep and to the store. After we were done, she goes we can pick up my laptop at my sisters ( 35 minutes north one way). I knew then nope wasn't happening (its my gas and I was just going to Futureshop, so I ignored her and dropped her off at home. But I see everyone feels sorry for her and gives her things I am not one of them, noone wins but her and I get nothing in return.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
25 Jun 12
what will you do if she does find out, I think you guys have to tell her everyone has to pay there own way. and then say no when she asks to borrow.
@sender621 (14894)
• United States
24 Jun 12
If this was a girls weekend where all expenses were to be shared, then everyone invited should be willing to chip in for the cost. i don't think you should feel bad about inviting someone who would not be able to help out with the cost. If this person is someone who may not get along well with the rest of the group, you may just be saving yourself more grief by not extending the invitation.
@BabyCheetah (1911)
• Australia
24 Jun 12
I'm feeling more distressed about the cat right now after reading that but I am an animal lover. The cat needs treatment for sure.
As for not inviting her I would have done the same thing honestly. May be seen as mean but it's understandable. No body likes moochers and usually this is what they are like, if they think they can keep getting away with mooching off others they will keep doing it. So I think you have done the right thing and everyone else on that trip would agree I think. You go on trips to have a good time not have it ruined by stress of knowing you will have to pay extra for them.
@keoni108 (42)
• United States
24 Jun 12
I personally dont like moochers. If they take advantage of you, and causes you to be annoyed, not benifiting anyone but herself, she has no right to be on that trip with you. And if you feel bad for her, you need to realize that she needs to learn how to live without taking advantage of people. She needs to learn how to be independant. About her cat, she might not have the funds to take her to the vet, since shes so desperate to do things. If she has the money, you should tell her to take it to the vet. Or, you can file a lawsuit on animal cruelty.
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
24 Jun 12
Nope, not wrong at all. If someone was mooching off me, then I would stop inviting them to things. I think you should just tell it to her straight, she doesn't pay her part of the deal and if she doesn't pay her part of the deal then you really don't want her coming along.
That poor cat is going to suffer, if the poor dear lives. 
@PointlessQuestions (15397)
• United States
24 Jun 12
The party or night out thing is for whomever you want to go, not for people you don't want there. You answered your own question really... but I'll tell you anyway... NO you are NOT wrong in not inviting her. She is a mooch... so no...don't invite her. I bet you won't have fun as it is with so many people wanting to go. You don't get AWAY.. you are still with everyone on your girls night out. I would think you would want to be away from all the people you don't care for.. like the boyfriend's girlfriend that shouldn't even be drinking.. and whomever else.
