Do you still have the photographs of your exs?

@mikyung (2232)
Philippines
June 27, 2012 6:06pm CST
I have a friend who has this habit of collecting photographs of his exs. His past relationship was so colorful and complicated. I don't know if I would label this as a weird habit or not. I asked him if he will discard that thing if he will eventually get married. He answered - "No way!, I will treat this as a remembrance of my past. This will remind me of Girl A's beautiful face, Girl B's sweet smile, Girl C's nice body etc." If you are the would-be-wife of my friend, will you insist on the discarding of those? How about you, do you still keep the pictures of your past relationships? If yes, why? If no, why not? Do you disposed it? Burned it? Any thoughts?
2 people like this
24 responses
• United States
28 Jun 12
i also have photographs of some of my exs. i do no think that it is a bad thing. it shows memories from while you were growing up. there is no feeling left there. i mean i know i dont atleast. when your kids get older they are going to want to know about when you were a kid and because many of them were my friends to i would want to show them the pics and tell them all about it. it is easier said with pictures than words. i actually have a lot of pics of guys in general but that doesnt mean i want to leave my husband for them. they do not seem to bother him. they stay put up and i never take them down unless we are moving things or i have to go thro them for some other reason.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jul 12
in my opinion if you can not trust the person you are with enough to let them hold on to those memories thro pictures then maybe you do not belong together. i can see some people holding on to them because there are still feelings there but most people i know just keep them for the fond memories they had and an old chapter in their book of life.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
5 Jul 12
You are right crazzydophin. It's just a piece of paper. Trust is the only thing here Thanks
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I got your point crazzydolphin. Pictures are indeed for posterity purposes only Thanks
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
28 Jun 12
I won't happy when seeing all stuff like that from my partner...for sure i don't burn it when i see it, but i remind my guy should keep in secret place where i can't see it anymore...if not i will throw it all. I don't keep any pictures from my ex, when love is broken, i burn or throw it all..it is the way to make me get out of broken love soon.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I understand ryanong. Past is past..Thanks
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
29 Jun 12
hihihi,
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
Nice giggle there. I like it
• Valdosta, Georgia
28 Jun 12
Before I was married I had pictures of a few of them just because they were part of my past, their pictures were in my scrapbook. If they went to any event with me they were in my scrapbook. I don't think having a scrapbook with them in it is weird because it was just events in my life and they happened to be there... Once I was engaged to be married though I cut them out of all of the pictures though, just because I didn't want my fiance, now husband to think I had any thoughts of going back to any of them. They were my past, he is my future... Once your engaged to be married I think that would be a good time to let the pictures go. I think any woman would have a hard time with it, even if they will not admit that.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
I really like that point of view. You husband is the present and probably the future and even beyond. Scrapbooks are for posterity only. Nothing more, nothing less. Thanks. I appreciate it.
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
No, i dont have any photographs of my exs because they are not part of my present life anymore. For me past is past and everything happened to me in the past including exs need to buried it and forget all about it. I think my husband still have a picture of her exs but I dont mind it because they just a pictures and I know that he didn't love them anymore and they just part of his past lovelife.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
I see your point there Bhebelen14. Past is past. It's just a picture, nothing more, nothing less. Thanks
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
28 Jun 12
Hello mikyung I do not have any photographs containing persons from previous relationships. However, I have often lamented this for one previous relationship as I have been seriously considering constructing a voodoo doll, and I thought this might add a nice touch. Peace
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
What? You must be kidding. But I see your point though. Thanks
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
Very clever though. People nowadays are creative in some ways. I really like it
• United States
28 Jun 12
Actually, I was kidding when I wrote it, but upon further reflection it seems like a good idea.
• United States
28 Jun 12
hi mikyung! i do not have any photos of past relationships and i do not want any! i am very embarrassed and regretful that i had any past relationships before mr. psychoartist, who is the most wonderful man in the world and would like to erase time or memories before him...if mr. psychoartist was hoarding pictures of previous relationships i would not like it, and would probably secretly hide them and destroy them...i know that this is not a mature attitude and that like some of our friends here i should have no ill will toward these past women and be friendly, etc... but that is just not the way that the psychoartist rolls...the psychoartist is a very passionate person and that can be good and that can be bad.....
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Good point psychoartist. I know psychoartist has her own reasons and we respect that. Thanks
@jsae29 (1120)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Nope! When I got married, I burned all the photos of my exes. My husband knew about my past but I'm not comfortable showing those to him. So, I decided to burn them all.
@ryanong (9665)
• Vietnam
28 Jun 12
You did right..I will do like that if i keep ex- photos/..however i don't have any ex- photos now...
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Thanks jsae29 and ryanong! Past is past...really?
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Errr nope i do not have their pics anymore..i find it a bit weird to keep it, part of moving on is to dispose them.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Makes sense jazel. Thanks
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
2 Jul 12
Somewhere there exists a picture of me with one of my exes, but I don't know where it is right now and I haven't been able to put my finger on it for years. Now, I do actually have a picture of another of my exes that is actually on my desk right now (and yes I am happily married). The thing is, however, my ex and I are actually really good friends and though the picture that I'm talking about is over thirteen years old, I do still have it and I will never get rid of it. The reason that I keep the pictures that I have with him is because of the fact that he is a part of my life and you are never able to erase your past.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
We may forget the feelings but we never forget the person. It is part of our past. It's like, if we forget our past, we also forget those positive things once we had. Makes sense, isn't it? Thanks
• United States
28 Jun 12
sure i still have pictures of my exs. they were my friends, most still are. its not like they mean anything more then the fact that they were good times with my friends. my fiance also has pictures of his exs. they dont mean anything and neither of us have a problem with it
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Good for you guys. Thanks
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
30 Jul 12
I have always been keeping the pictures of my loved ones even though separated or rejected. I would keep the pictures for remembrance. However, as I venture into a new relationship or love, I would throw away or dispose of those pictures and allocate all my heart and energy on the current girl hoping this would be the one to talk about a lifetime relationship.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
31 Jul 12
Very well said squallming. We need really to spend our time at the present. Thanks
• United States
28 Jun 12
I was married for 25 years before I divorced. I kept my married last name and I made sure my children know that I still love their father... but now I love and respect him in a different way. He's married and his wife understands that I am a friend to both of them. I still have photos of my ex-husband and I don't know if he still has photos of me. I hope he does. I think it's healthy to release past lovers without feeling any animosity toward them. Both people must be very mature in order for that to happen.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I totally understand sherybelle.Animosity is bad for any relationship. Pat is past. Thanks
@512771751 (1096)
• China
30 Jul 12
I don't have such photograph because that I don't want to remember him and he really hurts me so deeply. And now I like my bf and I don't make him unhappy.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
I like what you have just stated. You want your present bf to be happy by not keeping such things.
@maryorie (14)
• United States
28 Jun 12
i have a box where i do have some pictures of my exes , they are just memories i try to remember the good staff and what i learned from them.
1 person likes this
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
Nice thinking. PIctures are for posterity. Thanks
• United States
28 Jun 12
I do and I don't know why. I was just going through my pics a few weeks ago and asked myself why I am keeping them. I have been with my hubby for 12 yrs and 7 years married and have no feelings for any of my exes. It must be just a memory I want to hold on to
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
We may forget the feeling but we may never forget them as a person. They are once a part of us. really. Thanks
• United States
28 Jun 12
One or two, but I have them buried in an area where even I can't really get a hold of them. I have to acknowledge that I did date other guys once before that guy I am with now, and I have to realize that I don't want to repeat past mistakes.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I can see your point there rogue. Thanks
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
I am confused whether I should burn them, throw them away or keep them in a box and taped them??? lol As part of moving on, I guess it would be better to hide them and never ever look at it til you have moved on completely.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
You are right there tess. Thanks for replying.
@airasheila (5454)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
good day mikyung, let me respond to you according to the hierarchy of your questions. i do still have the photos of my ex's. however, due to a lot of things i kept, i have no idea where that pictures have gone. because i kept them so much, and i can't remember where those things has been placed. and if i will be going to be the wife of your friend, i will ask him heart to heart why does he still kept it. although i know for a fact that he will answer me like that phrase he have told you "remembrance of the past". still i would insist and raise the question again until such time he decided to disregard them.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
29 Jun 12
I see your point there airasheila. Thanks for replying.
@Austina (92)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
As for me, I would not want my husband to have those pictures of his ex. It seems that he cannot get over with the girl. Eventually, keeping pictures of ex makes you not respect your partner
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
28 Jun 12
I see your point Austina. Respect the past of your partner makes a difference in your relationship. Thanks
• United States
28 Jun 12
Definitely weird. I would insist on discarding the pictures too. The only pictures I have of any of my exes is my prom pictures from my senior year in high school. Even then I got rid of a bunch of them.
@mikyung (2232)
• Philippines
1 Jul 12
Nice on misty54. Thanks