My friend stopped talking to me for no reason....
@Masihi (4413)
Canada
July 1, 2012 7:50pm CST
I'm really depressed. I have a friend whose daughter is friends with my daughter, and now all of a sudden she stopped talking to me. At first I thought something was wrong and she was sick but a facebook post and 3 phone calls later still nothing...I'm beginning to think I did someting wrong and she blocked me from seeing different posts cuz I'm seeing NOTHING from her now. I thought maybe my daughter and her daughter had a fight or my daughter did something mean to her, so my husband and I interrogated her but she said she and my friend's daughter were still friends and are going to come to my daughter's birthday party this Sunday coming up. So I had my husband's mother interrogate my daughter, and she also warned her about lying, stealing, and to show respect for everyone, but she still maintains there's no fight btwn her and my friend's daughter. So now I"m stuck. I'll leave it alone for now, I suppose,I don't want to make anything worse. I'm kinda hurt, and I can't figure out for the life of me what did I do wrong?
I'm always doing something wrong. I'm always making enemies. I mean my biologocal family disowned me, my foster mother disowned me, various people at my church think I"m mentally challenged, I'm always screwing up socially, I dunno. With my track history, this'll be another one of my screw-ups.....
*sigh*
My life is a mess. I'm scared to make more friends. What if I screw up again? I hate this.
2 people like this
15 responses
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Jul 12
I wish I could make you feel better but I know I can't. =(
I do not have friends off here either. My sister is the only person I have besides my husband and even her, not really a friend.
Most people I thought were friends were not.
I am okay without friends though. I have my husband and kids. They make me much happier than any friend ever could.
Honestly, the last "friend" I had caused me more drama and trouble than I can even tell you about. She was poison and I got her out of my life. When I did that I realized I do not need friends, except for here. There are so many good people here. I am happy to call all of you friends. =)
Having true friends is a good thing if you can find one but it rarely ever happens. So, I would rather stick with everyone here and my family.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
Well, we have a good family friend, and some buddies of Hubby's, I'm a "quiet mouse in the corner" type person, and don't socialise so much, and plus I always been nervous in making new friends and all that. I hope it blows over, or nothing serious happened between my friends daughter and my own daughter, it could be that as she never even came to Synogogue or anything this past Shabbat, I really should stop worrying, oh well. Such is life, I just don't understand why all communication is just - well, cut off with no explanation, it's strange...all my other "unlucky" times with other people and foster family members there'd always be a blow-up and such.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
Oh wow I'm sorry that people treat you mean like that. It was only lately that I started standing up for myself and to be honest I am ready to delete her off my facebook - but I'm still waiting for what's happening between my friend's daughter and my own daughter. But my friend's daughter no longer call my daughter and while they were still friendly at school there's no way we can get ahold of the family during the summer. I really don't have time for shenanegins and I feel like I need to protect myself.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Jul 12
I know your more the quiet type like I am when it comes to being social. I have spoken to you a few times here and I know that much about you. I have issues making friends too. When I do make them they see sucker on my forehead, use me all they can and then want nothing else to do with me...I am used to it I guess...
I had the same thing happen with someone I thought was a friend. She deleted me off her friends on FB without a reason and did not say a word to me about it since. I have no idea what happened with her. I try not to worry myself because I have so much financial stress as it is I really don't need more stress on me.
I hope you find out soon what happened so you can feel better.
1 person likes this
@jirexpress (155)
• United States
2 Jul 12
People either come into your life to give or take my friend, sometimes the well runs dry. Too many other things you could be doing with your time. I lost many of my so called friends when I turned my life over to JESUS CHRIST. This was the best thing that could happen, now I have never been happier, I study and appy what HIS WORD says, trusting that HE will do what HE says and HE does better than any so called friend I have ever had, and my church family has become my brother, sister, aunt, uncles, mom and dads. Praise GOD
@jirexpress (155)
• United States
2 Jul 12
Hey if you need a friend to talk to look me up on facebook(jirexpress at yahoo dot com) or send me a message on here
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
I don't think it's religion or anything I think it's my social skills being so sucky, I mean I'm always doing socially unettiquette or something like that. I mean I'm very polite and proper by nature but my upbringing was really strange so I probably come across as strange myself, I guess. Maybe it's because I'm too outspoken but I'm learning how to use wisdom and I'm careful to be respectful of people.
I'm a born-again believer in our Messiah as well. Shalom, my fellow Christian :-)
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Jul 12
You know what Masihi? If this friend is a true believer like you, then regardless of your social skills, she should never turn away from you. If this is the reason, then she has religion, not a relationship, because Y'shua would never do that!!!
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Jul 12
Okay for one, stop putting yourself down we have been friends for a long time and I see a great, talented person who is very loving.
Now, you say this friend has blocked you on FB? Do you remember what you posted or what you said the last time you two were connected? What about her faith? If she doesn't believe like you and I do, I wouldn't be surprised. Not that I am making light of the matter, but I have seen, including in my own life, people just are terrified of where I stand.
I guess I would need more info about this friend, because I know you, you would never do anything mean to anyone.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
2 Jul 12
I suggest you pray and be yourself, because being a people pleaser isn't going to make you happy and if someone can't take you for who you are, then excuse my bluntness, they are not worth your friendship..
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
I'm trying not to worry, I mean it might be something else, or it could very well be a fight btwn my daughter and her daughter, and my daughter is too embarrassed to talk about it, I guess I"m worried cuz I have a track history of "making enemies" so to speak cuz I'm so outspoken and such. No, she didn't block me just don't see anything new on her facebook but I can still comment and put in a post myself. I did have a foster sister who wouldn't allow me to comment on her facebook but a couple of months ago she opened up the rest of her facebook with me so that I can comment and post on her wall, still not chatting by phone but at least she's opening up very slowly. It was my social skills that turned her off and for years we didn't speak but I don't want to screw up what tentative relationship we're starting to have. I am, however, very good friends with her brother, though.
Ah well, I'll try harder to be "good" so to speak, but I still wanna be myself, you know?
1 person likes this
@KCLGphilsBSA (372)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
You just remind me of my current situation. I also have a friend for about 8 years and now she's not talking to me. Everyone says that when i got mad at the first time against them, she's a bit scared and treat me as "unapproachable". I'm depressed and at the same time, angry for what she's claiming about me. She doesn't have the right to tell that thing just because i got mad at them, given that they did the mistake.
DFor now, i'm hoping that we'll be okay.
And for your situation, i do hope that you'll find the real answer on what's the real reason for her to ignore your friendship. If you are true friends from the start, she'll have to say anything about it not by dropping all your communications without any clarification.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
well, I have a bit more info, I found that she's not mad at me, another lady she known for a long time told me she got ahold of my friend's mother and that's what she was told, but still just to drop off the earth for 2 weeks? Today her daughter called my daughter and talked, I hope things will work out so that we can all be family friends again. I miss her company.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
2 Jul 12
Hi friend, sad to hear about this, but don't worry a lot for this. Be sportive, surely your friend will realize her mistake and come back with you, she will send a friend request to you and talk with you soon. My wishes for it
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
Well, today her daughter called my daguther and they talked and my daughter told me they were still friends. The mother is still not talking to me...or is it anyone? She just won't talk or anything so I won't press her, I'll just wait till she calls me and talks to me, but then again I'm not holding my breath. I heard she wasn't mad at me so that's a good thing.
@issamtohme (16)
• Lebanon
4 Jul 12
masihi(1443)
you are over reacting.And your life isn't a mess.
First,if you really love your friend you need to go and apologize to her.And i know that this isn't your fault but if you want to be friends with her again you need to do that,and i know,you know,that it will be a little bit hard but there is nothing to be afraid of,and if you apologized to her and if she didn't accept your apology then just go and make a new friend.
And don't say that you screw everything,and you can live without friends 'cause nobody in the world can.
So go out there and do the right thing.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
The problem is I can't get ahold of her, she's not responding to any of my fb posts or phone messages and I'm afraid to try any more cuz that'll cross the line into harrassment and I certainly don't want to be kicked off her property if I go to her door. But yes, if she does come to me the first thing I'll do IS to apologise. Today her daughter called my daguther and they're still friends, so now all I have to do is wait for my friend to call me back. I really miss her company, and I racked my brain and still can't figure out for the life of me what I did wrong. Oh well, I'll try not to worry about it until she returns my messages. Someone else closer to her than me told me she just withdrew and not responding to anyone....not sure...
@Shellyann36 (11384)
• United States
2 Jul 12
Perhaps your friend is having some sort of personal problem that is keeping her from responding to you. I hope that this is the case. Some problems cannot be shared even with close friends. If you have done nothing wrong and she is mad at you then she is not a very good friend anyway. Lately I have had several bouts with so called "friends" and all I can say is with friends like that who needs enemies? Take a deep breath and let it go.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
Ya, I will wait and see what happens, there's nothing left to do except to wait and see, I don't want to call her anymore because I've already called her three times already last week, so I'll leave her alone and let her contact me. I want to relax and say it's just some personal issue at home but experience taught me that it's usually my fault that people aren't contacting me so I"m wary now. I'll keep my guard up.
@Canellita (12029)
• United States
4 Jul 12
Reading your post I have two thoughts: 1) Maybe you are just different, and 2) Maybe there really is a problem with the things that you do. It is also possible that you are somewhere in the middle. Do you work extra hard to be friendly to everyone? Do you have dreams for your life that people say are unrealistic? As far as being told you are mentally challenged, have you had much education? Did you do well in your studies? Don't worry about screwing up again, just focus on being successful.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
I was brought up very proper and taught to respect everyone, and yes I treat my friends good, but I just can't figure out what i doneto her that would make her not talk to me. Maybe it's beacuse I am different (me being disabled) and I dunno. Today her daughter called my daugther and so I know they're friends, now I'm just waiting for her to return any of my messages, I'll wait to see if she calls or opens up...not sure
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I think, you should talk to her to know what is the real reason why she did not talk to you anymore. Don't be scared to have new friends. Just be true to them. Another thing is you cannot please anyone to accept you.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
If she calls me and wants to talk I'll talk to her and be nice and hopefully make amends but I don't want to keep calling her cuz I called her three times nothing so I won't bother her again, and I told my daugther not to pester me about seeing her friend (my friend's daughter) because I don't know what i did wrong, or what her daughter told my friend, so this is really a sticky situation.
@mtrguanlao (5522)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
We all make mistakes Masihi,we are just human beings. I remember my hubby told me that it is juts me who's thinking bad about myself and others don't think like that about me. He even told me not to think of bad things or bad reasons why one is doing it to me. You can always ask your friend,if not now,do it after some other day. There are some "maybe's" we can think of,but just think positively why she is like that to you lately.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
I'm trying not to think of it, had a good talk with someone else who helped me to calm down and think of things objectively. It's another lesson in life, I suppose and I do hope to communicate with her in the future I don't want to keep calling her since I called here three times and left a facebook post last week and I think that's enough.
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
5 Jul 12
Maybe, I'm not sure, and that's what I'm trying to figure out. I'm racking my brain to figure out what I did wrong, and as far as I can recall I was nothing but respectful and helpful to her. I've tried on several occasions to contact her and I don't want to do so any more or else it'll seem like harrassment and I certainly don't want to do that. So now all I can do is wait and see what happens.
@512771751 (1096)
• China
5 Aug 12
Oh, it is so bad. I did have such experience when I was in college. I have a good friend and I always talk to her about my deep emotion. But I don't know when and why she wasn't kind to me and didn't talk to me. Until she got married, she didn't inform me. It is too terrible.
But I think the true friend who will tell you the problem she thinks and keep your friendship. She is not worth having by you.
@desiree91 (515)
• Malaysia
2 Jul 12
If it really bothers you that this friend of yours is avoiding you, you should confront her. Obviously this friend meant a lot to you. Ask her what's up and if she has something against you, then you could clarify things with her. If you dis something wrong do apologize. I know it gets uncomfortable having the conversation face to face, but at least by asking her what's wrong you get a clearer picture and you might be able to identify your weaknesses if any. If this happens to you don't go all upset and looking down on yourself for being a failure or anything. Face this situation and fix it. Learn any lesson you derive from this experience and move on. What makes you better is that you learn.
1 person likes this
@Masihi (4413)
• Canada
2 Jul 12
Ya, I really want to talk with her and find out what's wrong but after 3 phone calls with no response and a facebook post to her wall, nothing there, I left the ball in her court. I don't want to risk her anger even more by calling all the time, she's not picking up her phone at all. So now all I have left to do is wait for her to contact me, I made my best to make amends and to find out what I did wrong or anything now it's up to her to contact me.