It feels bad when members do not accept friend requests
By oindy54
@oindy54 (3445)
India
July 2, 2012 9:55am CST
I send friend requests rarely. But I have lots of them coming in and I accept all. I like making new friends and increasing my list of friends. It helps me keep track of new and interesting topics/discussions that they might start. However, of late I sent out a couple of friend requests but the members did not accept them. I sent them mainly because I found their responses very helpful and wanted to get them on my friend list. May be they think I would be spamming them or may be they already have many friends. Or there might be other reasons I cannot fathom. Whatever the reason may be, it feels a little bad when someone won't accept a friend request. Honestly, it makes me sad. But may be I am acting a little childishly.
Has such a thing happened with you when you have sent a friend request and not been accepted? Please share your thoughts. Also please comment if I am stupid to feel bad about this.
Has such a thing happened with you when you have sent a friend request and not been accepted? Please share your thoughts. Also please comment if I am stupid to feel bad about this.3 people like this
17 responses
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
5 Aug 12
There have been several times when I sent friend request to others, and I either didn't receive a response, or I got denied. I don't feel you are stupid to feel bad for this behavior. I just think that you have a good heart, and you're affected when something bothers you. Nothing wrong with that at all. It's okay to feel bad, but we gotta keep it moving as well. Best wishes and love to you always my friend :)
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
5 Aug 12
Wow! Some kind words indeed and I know they are straight from your heart!
What can I say to you my friend except that you gave me a great start to my day! I have learned to move on a little more easily than the last month and I hope with each passing month, I will be stronger. Blessed to have support from true friends like you.
What can I say to you my friend except that you gave me a great start to my day! I have learned to move on a little more easily than the last month and I hope with each passing month, I will be stronger. Blessed to have support from true friends like you.1 person likes this
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
7 Aug 12
Glad that I helped give a great start to your day ma'am, and yes my words are from my heart for sure. I have no doubt that you will become stronger each and every day that passes. It doesn't happen overnight, but in time. I wish you much continued success my friend, and you'll always have support from me :)
@beamer88 (4259)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
Maybe they just haven't gotten to accepting the request. I'm actually guilty of this. Sometimes I'm so caught up with the discussions that I forget to check if there are requests that I haven't accepted yet. Although lately I wait a while before accepting if the person making the request has less than 10 discussions he or she had participated in. I guess I'm trying to avoid those who make requests and then vanish from myLot after a short period of time.
As to you feeling bad about it, that's not being stupid. I think it's a normal feeling for a lot of people. Although I think you shouldn't be bothered by it. We really can't expect everyone to be our friend.
1 person likes this
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Wow! A very valid point indeed which I never thought of! Certainly they might have forgotten to accept the request. I understand that you post actively which is why you forget sometimes to accept new requests. As for me, the number showing next to the "friends" tab keeps disturbing me till I accept the requests. The number always keeps appearing before my eyes and so I hurry to remove it by accepting the request. I really should not have expectations. You are very correct. Many thanks for your helpful response.
@surveychick4 (380)
• United States
2 Jul 12
I will be your friend. I do not have many mylot friends and would like some. I think they do think your are going to spam them. I will accept it though.
1 person likes this
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Many thanks for wanting to be my friend! It made me feel very good to hear this. You mean you would accept spam? Some people can be notorious in constantly sending messages with links but never helping you out by signing up to any site that you recommend. Of course, when both friends are in agreement and share links, it is a different matter.
You mean you would accept spam? Some people can be notorious in constantly sending messages with links but never helping you out by signing up to any site that you recommend. Of course, when both friends are in agreement and share links, it is a different matter.1 person likes this
@TheIzers (680)
•
2 Jul 12
It happened to me too sometimes but I don't take it personally because I believe that some people have concern about their privacy and stuff. So when they don't accept my friendship they might think I am not for real or something and it's ok with me I can add someone else tobe my friends. Happy lotting my friend and lets be friend 
1 person likes this
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Yes. You are absolutely right. I think some care about their privacy. They have that right. But I am a sentimental person and so I get perturbed by the minutest things in life. I know this is not the right kind of attitude. I should learn to take things in my stride. I would love to be your friend. Many thanks for your input. Since I started this discussion I am feeling better.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
I like it how you put it - "the more friends the merrier"! I agree with you completely. I have had some people sending me links through messages and I do not mind them. Once I become good friends with someone I would not mind helping that person out.
1 person likes this
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
6 Jul 12
Yes, oindy54, I feel the same way some times. There are several people who I have requested as friends on myLot, and they refuse to accept me. I wonder why. I notice that some of them they have accepted Mrs. Turner, yet they won't accept me, and I wonder why.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
6 Jul 12
Now that is strange! Have people now started discriminating between genders as well! I wonder! I just went back and deleted many of the friend requests that were pending all these days. I am sure they would not have taken that much time had they wanted to accept a request.
@PageTurner (2825)
• United States
6 Jul 12
I have wondered if it was a gender thing as well, oindy54. But I worry that they simply do not like my personality.
Good for you for deleting may of the pending friend requests you made!
Peace
@yugasini (12893)
• Secunderabad, India
2 Jul 12
hi oindy54,
how are you after long time i am in your discussion,how is life going on, i think it was over 6 months are more we have met in discussions,till now i have never ignore any friendship request , immediately after seeing the message of friendship request immediately first i clear that thing with acceptance,daily i am watching there is any friendship request,i feel bad when i did not get any friendship request for more than week,so i respect friends and friendship,what ever friendship i will extend that is real any body can trust me,i do not remember that any of my friendship request was ignored,but i am free now, i am not caring if any one accept or ignore me,have a nice day
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Hi,
You are right my friend. I am really into posting discussions after a long time. I was pretty inactive for quite a few months due to work but then Mylot attracted me back. When I felt the need for more knowledge on issues or to vent out my heart, I got reminded of this wonderful community and that is how I came back again. Life's fine now. I have enrolled for B.ed classes. Will be completing the course next year and look for a permanent teaching job. How are things on your end? I am just like you. I accept each and every friend request that comes along. In fact I cannot see that number next to the "friends" tab for long and so I accept immediately after I get a request. I understand how much value you attach to making new friends which is why you feel bad if no requests come in for more than a week. Thank you for sharing your thoughts with me.
@inertia4 (27960)
• United States
10 Jul 12
I think it is just a simple thing. Some people just do not like to accept too many friends on a site. I have noticed this as well. I have sent out many friend requests here in MyLot and not all of them have responded. Another reason this could be is that, even though they may write from time to time, they either might not be very active members or they have gotten their accounts removed or just do not come back here anymore. I have seen this countless times and many websites. So don't feel bad about it.
@sjvg1976 (41281)
• Delhi, India
2 Jul 12
Hello Oindy,
This bothered me never as i also had the same experience when some of my request i sent to the people who i found helpful did not accept it but that's their fate may be they did not want to have good friends.About i always accept FR which people send me and delete them from the list if they spam me.
.About i always accept FR which people send me and delete them from the list if they spam me.@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
So you mean it is their loss?Great response! Of course we should remove persons who spam continuously. But if you had a link to recommend to another person, how would you go about it? Supposing I have a very good survey site to recommend, how should I proceed? I am asking this as an example. I have no intention to send any links to anyone right now.
Great response! Of course we should remove persons who spam continuously. But if you had a link to recommend to another person, how would you go about it? Supposing I have a very good survey site to recommend, how should I proceed? I am asking this as an example. I have no intention to send any links to anyone right now.@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Survey sites are not very earning for Indians. However, if you have the patience of an elephant like me you would be able to earn 50$ every year with Globaltestmarket. The site screens me out of most surveys but still those extra points I get add up and help me reach my goal,ie, 50$ every year. My mother has her own profile which is why it is double earnings for us. Of course, surveys target particular profiles. This I know because my mother gets more surveys than me as she is a healthcare professional. Of late I came across Paidviewpoint which is quite a good site in my opinion as they do not screen me out of any surveys. Earnings are fixed there and the surveys take about a couple of minutes to complete. So far I have earned 9$ there and the payout is 15$.
you would be able to earn 50$ every year with Globaltestmarket. The site screens me out of most surveys but still those extra points I get add up and help me reach my goal,ie, 50$ every year. My mother has her own profile which is why it is double earnings for us. Of course, surveys target particular profiles. This I know because my mother gets more surveys than me as she is a healthcare professional. Of late I came across Paidviewpoint which is quite a good site in my opinion as they do not screen me out of any surveys. Earnings are fixed there and the surveys take about a couple of minutes to complete. So far I have earned 9$ there and the payout is 15$.
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
2 Jul 12
Don't take it too hard. Whether to be accepted as a friend is neither good nor bad. Unanswered friend requests are just something yet to be completed. You may not get them today or tomorrow but someday somehow you may. If they rejected you it may have been their loss to miss a good friend like you. They are the ones that should be sad but they don't know it now. :)
@jkct02 (2874)
• Kota Kinabalu, Malaysia
4 Jul 12
We have already been friends for sometime :) My response was not just for the effect of feeling good. It does have some truth in it. Friendship is a two way business. Whist they don't take action on our friend requests, they really don't know what they miss. But if we keep posting good responses in here, they will get to read it and they will want to shoot us a friend request of theirs, only to find out that ours is in the their waiting list
@sishy7 (27167)
• Australia
5 Aug 12
Good for you; seems you are over feeling bad about this and found a way to deal with it...
Your topic reminded me to check 'my pending friend requests' and turn out I do have one from five months ago...
I don't feel bad at all, though, as I am sure he has his own reasons to do that. I may not know his exact reason; I can only guess that I thought at first he waited to see if I am active because I was quite new when I first requested it. And now, we both are still active five months later...; I don't know, maybe he just forgets, he has too many friends already, or perhaps he thinks we don't share the same interests worth accepting as friends... He's entitle to whatever reasons he has.
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
5 Aug 12
Hi,
Yes I have stopped bothering my head off now. I agree that the person might have his reasons for not accepting our request. All the responses here have helped me learn a lot. Everyday that I spend at Mylot adds something to my experience and I am glad that I got the chance to be a part of this community. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts.
1 person likes this
@KCLGphilsBSA (372)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
I'm not really monitoring the friends section because sometimes the site responds slowly. Even in accepting friends, the process is slow for me so i would get back into it after a few days and accept those requests. That could also be the reason for some. Just wait and you'll never know, given that mylot has experienced different errors from the past few hours and day :D
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Yes, I agree with you. I just had a few friend requests coming in and I had to press the accept button a few times and then too it took some time to load and add the friends to my list. It is nice to know that you go back and accept requests after some time. Thanks for participating and helping me to contemplate.
@KCLGphilsBSA (372)
• Philippines
2 Jul 12
You're welcome.
Well, i really don't want to ignore the effort or interest of anyone, so i'll keep coming back to accept their requests. It is just the difficulty in the process that makes everything so complicated and be disregarded..
@rahmabaegood (166)
• India
2 Jul 12
Yes, I might feel bad too if it happened to me. Everybody should just accept friend request, right? Just accept it please :p (just kidding).
If you add me, I sure will accept :p
@paulli3 (312)
• China
5 Aug 12
yes i really feel bad when members do not accept my friend requests, i think we should be friendly to each other, so what i can do is to accept all my friends requests, i feel happy to accept a new friend, why not? you feel bad about this is normal, many people will feel bad about this.
good luck!
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
5 Aug 12
Yes I am of a sensitive nature and so when I found many of my friend requests were not accepted I was disappointed. I accept all friend requests.I agree with you that we should all be friendly to one another. It gives me happiness to have a new friend on my list. I hope we can be good friends so I will shoot a request to you!
I agree with you that we should all be friendly to one another. It gives me happiness to have a new friend on my list. I hope we can be good friends so I will shoot a request to you!
@lampar (7584)
• United States
2 Jul 12
May be that member has more than enough friends in her list already, or she only want to have someone who share the same interests and hobby to be her friend, there is nothing personal whenever your friend request is rejected, there are dozen of personal reason someone doesn't want you to be his/her friend, it is a long list to write them all in here; no need to feel sad or discourage at all, keep trying, continue your posting and mylotting, just cheer up ! 
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
2 Jul 12
I don't think you are acting childish at all. It is nice having friends here and it would hurt anyone to be rejected. Rejection never feels good in any situation...
I accept all requests over the number 10 by their name, only because some others that had a 1-9 next to their name have spammed me or they don't come back, etc. If they are over that number I accept them.
If they are at a ten or under I just wait until their number gets above that and then I add them. Anyone else I accept right away.
I don't know why some people do not accept other's requests. I have many friend requests that I sent and still have not been accepted after months! I do not get it since my number is not a new one, it's not like I am really new here.
I will accept you as a friend though, for me the more the merrier! 
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
I am already friends with you before I could comment back. Thanks for sending me the request. In the span of this discussion I gained a number of friends. It gives me a lot of happiness that the feelings of togetherness and sensitivity exist within the community. I am grateful that you do not think I acted childish. I am of a sensitive nature. I learned something new from you and I would also wait to see if a person posts more than 10 before accepting a request. It is no use having inactive friends on the list. I checked my pending list and there were some more than a year old and some of a few months. I think they might not be active any more or have their own reasons not to accept. Whatever be the reason, I have gained some good friends in the course of this discussion and I am thankful that I spoke out my feelings in the first place. Hope to enjoy our friendship. Cheers!
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
2 Jul 12
Hi friend, don't worry about this. Mostly i got a lot of incoming friend request and accept them ASAP. Some times i will send friend request to other persons and let them to take their time to approve me. Not every one is active in mylot, some persons are not active here due to various reasons, your friends will accept your request when they are active here. Don't worry a lot for this. Don't think you are stupid, you are really a caring person with sensitive thoughts. Cheer up
@oindy54 (3445)
• India
2 Jul 12
Hi,
I remember sending you a friend request last week and you accepted it without delay. Your point definitely holds. Certainly they might not have been active for some days. But I know one person I sent a request to is active and posting daily. But from all the discussions we had on this topic so far, I know now that some might feel they would be spammed or might not want to have more friends. It all seems natural to me now. And many thanks for your compliments on my nature. I appreciate it. I have stopped worrying now. Cheers!
