Relationships where one person is frugal and the other person is extravagant

I know that can be so frustrating, my husband is sort of like that but he's getting better, that's because his family spoiled him rotten growing up and did everything for him and paid for everything, I was a boarder at an elderly couple's house who provided my food and laundry, and lived on $15 per month spending for myself (I was on welfare, and still am) that was for six months but later they upped my perosnal allowanace for about $50 per month but still was small. Anyway I'm used to spending frugal, too. Thank heavens Hubby is starting to understand the value of money and is resisting temptation. But he does like quality stuff, and will no longer let me buy cheap $15 sandals since I walk a lot in the summertime, in fact he insisted that I purchased a higher-end pair of sandals for the quality, and that was $51 tax included but I know these will last me a good three or four summers. They're very tough, good for walking a lot.

My sister always saved money that she was given to her when she was a child. If she got money for her birthday then it would go into her bank account. Now she is an adult she spends in a very frugal way. She likes jumble sales for bargains and adores summer boot fairs. She is married to a man that loves spending money. He gets in much debt with his credit cards. My ex-boyfriend liked luxury accommodation and I liked budget places to stay. One guest house he refused to sleep at. He paced around all night, up and down, round and round. in the morning he told me to pack up and move to a different accommodation. He found a pricey and posh lodge and it was a struggle to afford it. I wanted to keep money for the next island we would be visiting. By the end of our trip we were running out of money big style. He and I went to Turkey and he refused to sleep at the beach accommodation. We had to get a luxury hotel in the city. He got a top hotel when we arrived in Istanbul. He moaned the room didn't have a view when we went to Belgium. I thought it was a very high standard of accommodation. He wanted a luxury sofa in my cottage. When it arrived it would not fit through my front door. When I moved I gave it to a friend of mine.

Oh yes, it's really frustrating if the partners are opposite in nature when it comes to spending their earnings. It is really wise to save a bit and avoid some unnecessary luxuries. But if the partner doesn't want to understand this, then one has to try and save a bit more of his/her earning.

My husband and I are polar opposites in this department. He has learned over the last nine years, that being frugal really is better. It allows me to homeschool my kids, and only work out of the home one day a week. We have everything we need, and some of what we want. We have a new car, pool, tv in every room, direct tv, cell phones, and video game systems, just to name a few. You can still have without being wasteful.

My husband is the spender and I am the saver just like in your situation. I absolutely love to save money! It is so nice to have something to fall back on when you need it. My husband is slowly learning this too. I always put a little money back and when were really struggling and he is stressing I show him that I put money back and he is so grateful for it. He knows if I did not do this we would be in trouble more times than not. I babysit so if they give me $5 extra at times which happens a lot actually I put it back. Then I babysit for someone else and they give a little extra, I do the same thing. Eventually it adds up. =) My husband always tells me I don't know what we would do if you did not do this. He knows I always put money aside, he just doesn't know where I keep it because I change spots all the time. Lol. If he does not want to save and he wants to spend you might want to find a way to put a little back and eventually he will thank you for it!

My husband was very good in handling money I can say that he is frugal because he is not going to spend a single cent of his money if he knows its not needed. I am the one who always spending but for 7 years of our marriage we never had a chance to have an arguments in terms of money. We both working and we both agreed that our allowances can be spend or save if we want. I dont even asked about his money because I know that he is saving for our future. Most of the time I am very impress to him because he can able to afford buy expensive things that came from his own allowances while me I just spend all my allowances in buying new things that needed but not so urgent. I know that my husband also receiving allowances from his father but he never spend those money because he is planning to put up in business. Indeed because of his attitude in handling money more often I think twice before I spend my money and also lately I find myself saving than spending.

I am in one now. Although I may disagree and say that I don't spend more than I do, she would definitely say otherwise, and I think she is right. I just choose not to see it that way and I know that is a problem. My girlfriend and I have been planning on saving but so far we haven't been able to, and I have myself to blame. I am in the process of fixing this though, renewing myself. I just hope I could.

I dated someone like that once. He came from a well to do family and his parents and grandparents had money. He joined the military (instead of going into the family business) and his pay was not very much (compared to living at his parents house, working for his dad and not paying any bills). He loved to shop and he had several credit cards maxed out. Anything he bought had to be name brand and he had to have things just right. He traded in his car for a Honda Del Sol and things went straight down hill from there. His car payments were too much because he had still owed on the previous car and with his cards being maxed out he didn't make enough money to cover it all. He tried to get his Grandmother to pay off his cards for him but she refused (she had done it once already). He ended up getting out of the military and going to work as a graphic artist for a guy across the country. His family owned a graphic artist business and he could have went back to them but for some reason he wanted to work for someone else. A few months after he moved we broke up. I do not know if he ever decided to go back to his parents and work in the family business or not. I hope that he did because frankly, he would be crazy not to. My hubby now has a spending problem sometimes. It is not often and he does his best to control it. One of his problems is that he always wants to go out to eat. That can ruin a small budget because eating out is expensive. I do not know what to tell you about your husband. I do know that after a while you will get tired of supporting him and his spending habits. Perhaps he needs to see how tired of it you are. Let a bill go and let him be without something that he really needs and perhaps he will discover what it is like to need that extra money he is wasting. Good luck.

Yes, my relationships seem to be like that with me being the frugal one. Because I have never been in a relationship where the guy is not a spender, I just put it down to being a man thing. Most of my friends that I talk to about this are of the same opinion. Do you think that men just naturally spend more than women? Is it because they tend to make more? I realize that there are some women who make more money than their partners but generally and traditionally speaking men do tend to be the main breadwinners.

I have been with my partner now for eleven years and i must say that when it comes to money.. We are complete opposites!! I like to keep money and my partner thinks it will burn a hole in our pockets. We have more than what we need, our son has WAY more than what he needs. But in the end our bills suffer sometimes. We decided to do a spreadsheet showing what we spend and we were in shock!! My advice is to write it all on paper. It usually puts it into a different perpective for both of you. You will be quite surprised how much you can save. And when you save, you will have more to spend in the end!

Well, I am sorry that you have this difficulty in your life. It is a bit difficult when you are complete opposites in this way. My husband likes to spend and although I am not completely frugal I am better than he is. I can understand your frustration. We have had bills that didn't quite get paid because he has spent too much money! Grrrrrrr! What we do now is, he has a limit that he has to earn to add to our pool of money. If he earns over that amount, then it is his to spend as he likes. Other than that, his money just goes into the joint pool that covers the bills and some luxuries that we agree on. It might be best to split the bills in half, have him put his half into an account that you only have access to, and then he can keep the rest to spend as he likes. That way your partner can have some free money, and yet he still pays his way. I hope you find a good solution, and in the meantime, I expect you will have to keep plugging away at things. Best wishes, Ruth