sometimes ya just gotta say no

Hi Suebee, I might have felt guilty about something like that when I was younger, but not now. When you're a caregiver you can give and give and give and give and end up being depleted if you don't draw a line somewhere. It's incredibly important for you to take care of yourself so you'll have something to offer others.

I have had part-time jobs in nursing homes and in home health care, and they called me all the time. At one point I had two part-time jobs in two different home health care teams and and a extra job at the hospital (once a month or something like that) I usually accepted the shifts in the home health care teams, but I sometimes said no to the shifts at the hospital. At the hospital I often worked at night and sometimes they called me at 10 p.m. and I asked if I could work from midnight. If I really needed the money for bills I said yes despite the short notice, but sometimes I was too tired and in those situations I said no. Sometimes I felt guilty about saying no, because I knew that they really needed someone to do the work, but where were some situations where I was simply to tired and I didn't have the energy to work all night.

This reminds me of one place where I was working. I already worked six days a week, so I only had one day off for the entire week. I got a call on my day off, and the person asked me to cover the shift. I said no, and they asked why I wouldn't. I didn't think I really needed to give an explanation, but I said that if I worked that day, then I wouldn't have a day off for two whole weeks and I was tired. They said "alright" and hung up. The next day I got yelled at by my boss and asked why I wouldn't cover the shift when it was so important. I asked what was so important, and he said the reason that they could not work, which they had not told me. I explained that I did not know the reason they needed the shift covered, and I also explained why I did not want to cover the shift. After hearing my side, he calmed down a bit and was fine after a little while.

From my experiences I have learnt that guts to say 'no' when you are unable to oblige others is really essential.Six years back I was a man open to be easily exploited by people who wanted to take undue advantages of my innocence.They were my friends and some of my relatives.One of my friends is a doctor.Since he lacks time,he wants me to write articles for him in order to attract more patients.I had a hard time writing his articles even when my mother was seriously ill.I did not get any financial benefit for doing his works.Recently he gave me some data and asked to write an article on them.I was busy,very busy with many other problems.So I flatly refused.He looked annoyed,but I did not care. Then one of my relatives borrowed 65 thousand rupees from me promising to pay me back as early as possible.I agreed.Now eight years after he does not even talk to me,let alone paying my money back. But all such experiences have taught me to say 'no' to such selfish persons.

Even saying no to someone always make me think why did I do that and is it okay what I said. I'm a kind person helping others, but there is always a limitation to that. Since I'm still a student, a very good example is when my classmate/s ask me if I could lend them my assignment so he/she can copy it. I first think if the assignment is easy, if it does I let them copy it but if it's not I always say no. After telling them I can't share my assignment with them I felt guilty even it is the right thing to do, there's always a limitation for something and you can't abuse it.

Yes, I do feel guilty especially if that person who is asking help from you is a close friend of yours....... But there are limitations to things like these thus you go to say no or else even if you help them, they'll even criticize you...... We need to know our limits. In knowing our limits to saying yes, we'll have a better life and understanding with other people :)

I have often turned down extra work even though the money was really good. Sometimes you need to do this for your own health. Money isn't everything. I had been out of work for over a year and was grateful to be employed. I too work in healthcare and found it extremely difficult to say no. When I was with my ex-husband I was more than happy to take on extra time. The less time I spent with him the better! Now that I am happily married to a man I want to spend time with, I find I don't volunteer anymore and they no longer ask.

Once in awhile I might feel bad if 1. I could have used the compensation, whatever it is 2. I'm not actually busy or doing something else like I stated when I turned down the opportunity. I had a job years ago when I was in high school and I often WOULD take on extra shifts or if someone called in. It got so that they almost always called me first if someone didn't show or called in because they were reasonably sure I wouldn't say no. Granted at the time I was trying to sock away as much money as possible to save for an apartment and a car, so I had plenty of motivation. Plus rather than offer me the discount employees would get on food, they would just give me free food. Most 18 year old high school students NEVER turn down free fast food lol. The only time I feel bad now turning someone down for something is if I had to make a hard choice... between two things I wanted to do, both of which would give me equal benefit and/or pleasure but you can't be in two places at once.

I know where you are coming from on this one i used to feel the same though i didn't have a job as important as yours.My job is just a delivery job but i work at a small company and there are only three of us who do the job i do and sometimes on my days off my boss phones up and asks me to work if someone else can't.I used to feel guilty if i said no as i new my boss would find it hard to get someone to cover. However i don't feel guilty for not doing the extra shifts as i have realised that i do my fair share and i need a life outside of work.

There is nothing wrong in saying "No". Just do tell people immidiately that you can't do them a favor. You would be respectful for that. saying No respectfully.

Hi friend, There is nothing wrong in saying no, if we don't have the ability or time to do the work Don't worry a lot for his, just be sportive and forget about this

Sometimes i feel guilty too if i reject other people wish to help. But i should think logic that they used me or they will paid what my extra job i have done. Also If it is for helping that maybe i can accepted if that really in emergency situation, if this is not in emergency situation f*** of. I have other life too.

If you are asked to do more than you have signed up for, then its okay you can reject. Everybody has a life. You can also feedback to the management to use better tactics to hire more staff to solve their manpower shortage issues (Salary benefits stuff like that)

That has happened to me as well. My work will call me wanting me to come in on my only day off, and at first, I would just do it because I felt horrible saying no. Eventually though, I learned how to say no. I still feel somewhat guilty when I decline, but I know it's for the best for me, and sometimes i have to take care of myself before my job.

Money is important... but so is resting your mind and body. They are both important and they both have a time and a place. It's good to say No when you need too. so good for you.

i think it is just normal for you to feel guilty. Its not that its a crime or something, its just a human nature. We usually don`t want to reject offers. But its important to think about the effect of this also, like is this can affect you or something? You may be tired for an instance and of course you should think of your health first you`re a nurse after all

Hi Suebee.There are times we practically need to say no and stick to that response. Not everyone in the workplace will be able to understand us absolutely but that is just fine because only us will be able to know the best for us and take good care of ourselves especially our health.In past years, I did feel same thing but as I grow with my career,I do not feel any guilt anymore in making such decision as that, too.

I sometimes feel guilty but I want to take rest as well and though extra money sounds good its still not an option if you don't have a life anymore due to work. It really comes down to your priorities. If you have something lined up to do even if you feel bad you really can't do something about it.

I know I don't. Not especially if I know I'm tired, or I need to spend some time at home. I mean, I fulfill the required number of hours at work. If they ask me to work longer and I can manage it, why not? I also think that if other people can refuse working for extra, why can't I? If I don't have to do it because I have other commitments or because I need to rest, then I'm not going to work. After all, as a manager, I believe that if I require someone to come in for extra hours, and this causes them not to be able to function when they are actually required to come in to work, then it's not worth it. Isn't there a way to render extra hours and sort of get an extra day off or something?

Hi Suebee, I am with you and you are so right, sometimes you have to say "NO" and stick to your decisions...alot of time we say "NO" and the waver back and forth with out decision wondering if we should have said , yes, why did;t we say yes, but once you make it up in your mind "NO", its done and we shoild move on with our life...