Why do I keep dreaming of us?
@ShootingStar79 (67)
United States
July 8, 2012 4:47pm CST
I've only loved one person my entire life. I've dated and have had other relationships, but never found the same connection I've had with my ex. I've spent years trying to find someone in which I can have that same connection and I can never seem to find it. The thing is, he and I broke up 8 years ago and that means that was also the last time we spoke a word to one another. Now he is married with a child of his own and I can't help but think about the time when I was truely happy when I was with him. Every relationship I've had that crashed and burned, I find myself once again thinking about him and miss him so much. There's nothing I can do about it now, but our relationship stil haunts me every single day! I understand why I am dreaming of him because he is usually always on my mind, but what I don't really know is why is it EVERY single dream I have of him, we are talking about how we still are in love with each other and want to be together. His wife was even in some of my dreams with him and he showed no interest in her and would hold my hand behind her back. Then I've had several dreams to where I was crying tell him how I feel about him and how much I miss him and that my life hasn't been the same without him in it. He told me when we broke up that I would always have a place in his heart, but what does that mean? Do you think he still thinks about me til this day too? I need to find peace of mind with this because we had no closure and this is taking a toll on me emotionally. Input on this is greatly appreciated.
2 responses
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
8 Jul 12
It's probably just your subconscious turning your wishful thinking into dreams. I believe that your emotions and thoughts of this relationship and of him is affecting you in every way. It could be the reason why you cannot have a happy relationship with someone else, because you refuse it to happen knowing that the new person is not what you want. Anyway, I am just guessing but I would very much wish that you could learn to let this one go and move on. Live a new and happy life, have a new and happy relationship with new and happy memories. It's easier said and done, but it is possible. Good luck!
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
9 Jul 12
Hi choybel,
I can have a happy relationship with someone else, my thing is that when something happends and the relationship ends, I start to miss my ex because I get to feeling lonely again. I miss how our relationship made me feel and I just think that if I were with him, he would know just what to do to make me feel better. I do realize that I need to let go of the past, but it seems close to impossible due to the fact that the past has made me who I am and how I feel in the present. There's no other way to describe it other than saying that my feelings are exactly the feelings the sing Adele expressed in her "Someone Like You" song. I pray I find peace within, but I miss him so much and he has no idea. Thanks for commenting! My wishful thinking really is manifesting into my dreams of him.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
9 Jul 12
I think that it is still obvious that you are not as happy as you think you are with your new relationship. I mean if you still seek the thrill of the same love form the specific ex then surely you must not be contented with anything but that of his. Nobody can really be equal to him, so I suggest that you try to accept it and give your heart the chance to be happy and contented.
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
10 Jul 12
I am not in a relationship at this time. I am seeking to get back out in the dating world like I have been. What I'm trying to say is that when I let someone into my heart/life, they do something that ruins any chances of us becoming something more than just dating. When things turn sour with that, that is when I often reflect on the relationship that I used to have and start to miss how I felt. As of right now, I'm as single as can be lol.
@katie0 (5203)
• Japan
9 Jul 12
Oh I'm so sorry! What a suffering you are going through. First of all, sorry dear I don't have the key or a secret for closure, only that time can do that. But I can see something you are doing that I did too and learned it was a mistake: you are trying to get the same connection: you don't try to get anything similar or even any close to what you had. You'll never find new love if you be arrested in the prision of the past as you are now.
I realize that God sends us the right person to us, probably not someone we'll feel that comfortable but one that will stimulates our growth. Someone that will make us better, that will complete us not in a way we'll feel satisfied and then cross our arms and sit but the one that actually will challenge us, there'll be fights, adjustments but if you give the new one a chance maybe'll see that you are growing, and each love is different, please you have to stop looking for the same thing cause you will look forever. You'll never have the same thing again, you know why? Because although most of people try to act like everybody else deep inside we are all unique and different. And it's a good thing.
We can fall in love easily as to see a guy that's just what we wanted and allow our heart go.
Or we can actually give love a chance, at least 2 years and see what happens. First see if the new guy loves you and unfortunately I'd say a girl is better to test them cause you know how more attached we are then man so we got be sure before giving our heart.
Plus you might not be giving love a real chance afraid it might fail. I'm not saying to you to trust a man blindly before you test him but you have to give yourself that chance. Trust in you!
@ShootingStar79 (67)
• United States
9 Jul 12
Thank you so much for your response! I understand everything you've said and I will try my best to trust in me. Trust is so hard to come by and I know a lot of other people out there feel the same way. I just need to find better ways to cope with this. Thanks again! :)
