Your Time is Not Yet Up...Funny
@west_tx_goddess (1197)
United States
November 21, 2006 2:50pm CST
A middle-aged woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table, she had a near death experience.
Seeing God, she asked "Is my time up?"
God said, "No, you have another 43 years, 2 months, and 8 days to live."
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a facelift, liposuction, and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color. Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance.
Arriving in front of God, she demanded, "I thought you said I had another 40 years? Why didn't you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?"
God replied, "I didn't recognize you!"
8 responses
@elementalcure (303)
• United States
1 Dec 06
Great Joke! Next time maybe God should start verifying SSN!!!
@west_tx_goddess (1197)
• United States
1 Dec 06
LOL! It may come to that...lol. Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the response!
@wahmoftwo (1296)
• United States
1 Dec 06
Thanks for the laugh.... I wonder what God really thinks about folks having extreme plastic surgery?
@west_tx_goddess (1197)
• United States
1 Dec 06
I'm am not sure about that but I figure it probably isn't on his good list, since he created us! Glad you enjoyed it and thanks for the response!
@happygal68 (3275)
• United States
1 Dec 06
That is a really funny one! Thanks for sharing it and making me laugh.
@west_tx_goddess (1197)
• United States
1 Dec 06
Your very welcome glad that you enjoyed it! Thanks for the response!
@nana1944 (1364)
• United States
22 Jan 07
Three old men are sitting on the porch of a retirement home. The first says, "Fellas, I got real problems. I'm seventy years old. Every morning at seven o'clock I get up and I try to urinate. All day long I try to urinate. They give me all kinds of medicine but nothing helps."
The second old man says, "You think you have problems. I'm eighty years old. Every morning at 8:00 I get up and try to move my bowels. I try all day long. They give me all kinds of stuff but nothing helps."
Finally the third old man speaks up, "Fellas: I'm ninety years old. Every morning at 7:00 sharp I urinate. Every morning at 8:00 I move my bowels. Every morning at 9:00 sharp I wake up."
