How do you feel being a younger sister or younger brother?
By 06MLam
@06MLam (620)
July 11, 2012 2:00am CST
I think I will never completely understand how this feels as I am the eldest in the family like my parents. I am actually the eldest granddaughters of my 4 grandparents. Though I have some elder cousins who are males but I don't have elder brother or elder sister.
I think my sister might feel a lot of pressure of being my younger sister. She goes to the same school that I went to but she always enter the school after I have graduated as I am 6 years older than she is. However, my teachers still manage to remember me after not teaching me for quite a number of years. And they always ask her if she is my younger sister when they first meet her. So do the others like my of my schoolmates. Some of the people also always called her my name by mistake. One time, when she went to see the doctor, the doctor miscalled her name as mine though I haven't been to the clinic for quite a while. I think my sister feels quite embarassed at that moment and so did the doctor.
I guess the worst thing is these people like to compare my sister with myself and my sister is quite aware of this and she compares herself with me as well for mainly academic abilities or other abilities in extra-curricular activities. It makes her feel bad when the teahcers think that I am more capable than her sometimes and she might also have this feeling herself even the others didn't say anything sometimes. I know the teachers have compared the two of us because her classroom teacher was my chinese teacher and she is teaching her chinese as well. She told my mum that my writing is better than my sister's. Similar situation happen to some other teachers sometimes and this is why problem is caused.
I don't mind the teachers comparing the abilities of their students who are sibilings as it is quite interesting and I think I will probably do the same. However, I disagree that they reflect what they feel about the two sibilings to the parents and the two individuals as this might affect the individual development of the individuals.
2 responses
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
11 Jul 12
Hello friend,
I think comparison is one such reality which every person faces in one field of life or another. Sometimes people compare us to our siblings, even our own parents compare us to our cousins or neighbor's children or their friend's children. I feel the main motive behind comparison is to help us extend our limits, to help us understand that if they can do it why can't we...
It is just that the comparison shouldn't be querulous or root pulling, but it should be motivating enough to help us bring out our best.
@06MLam (620)
•
11 Jul 12
I think it might be annoying for the children to hear from their parents saying Mrs X's son do that better than you and Mrs Y's daughter can finish this piano grade within 1 year but it takes you for almost 2/3 years to finish it etc. This will really make the children feel they are just a loser comparing to the others and take away their motivation. I think we might compare ourselves to the others, as what you've said for motivation to get the thing done even better. However, I think it will have adverse effect when the comparison is done by teachers and parents as this will probably lower the children's confidence.
@Inderjeetkaur (944)
• India
14 Jul 12
I take home tuition. There are 4 students who come to me for tuition. Among them there is one girl in 8th class now. Last year when she came to me for tuition I was surprised that how could a girl who doesn't even know the basics of English and Hindi could reach till 7th class. I did everything I could to teach her the basics, but after every 5 minutes she would forget what I taught her. I then began telling her (about my another student) that when this little child of first class can read and write it why can't you? You also have brain, it is just that you need to use it. When you can learn songs and sing them with rhythm and correct word stress then why can't you learn poems and recite it.
Honestly speaking after that I noticed a lot of positive changes in her. And when she recited an English poem to me I can't tell you how happy I felt. This was not just one instance where I compared her to another student. I do it very often to motivate her because I believe she can do it and I have also realized that she brings out her best whenever she is compared to others.
Her parents are happy with her academic results and personal growth. So, for me comparison worked positively and in the right direction.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
Comparing two individual is really unfair especially when you are being compared to your sister or brother. Every individual is really unique and have different traits.
With regard to your tittle, I never had an older brother or sister for I was the older one among the two kids of my parents.
@06MLam (620)
•
11 Jul 12
I agree that two seperate individuals should have their own development. However, teachers and parents just think that comparing their students and children with someone else can help reflect the ability of the students or children and help to push their performance. Hoever, I think this might affect their development as they will feel that they are just a loser comparing to the others. Therefore, I think teachers and parents should give more encouragement to the younger ones so that they can develope according to their own ability and interest.
@asdomencil (4265)
• Philippines
11 Jul 12
We cannot please anybody. We canot avoid them to compare you with your sister, I think it is already part of people. Some individual take thi as motivation that helps them improve while others took as factor in lowering their self esteem.
You are absolutely right, instead of comparing sisters, parents and teachers must help the other to develop like her sister or better more of what the other has.
Like what you said, not everyone of us has the same ability in a particular matter, each of us has the ability on our own and that must be the one to develop more.
