When is the right time to move out from our parent's house?
By besweet
@besweet (9859)
Ireland
July 19, 2012 7:18am CST
I moved out this many years ago, when I started my studies. I felt that I was taking a step forward by having my own place and living my own life! My parents helped me at first and then I got a job and covered most of my expenses.
But the times have changed and I couldn't find a job any more, so I came back to my home city and live with my parents again. They are very helpful but I am used in living alone, I have habits that they don't like and they are constantly trying to take decisions for me, like they did when I was a teenager!
I think it's time to move out again, although I won't be comfortable with money. When do you think it's a good time for a person to move out of the family's house and start a new life? Some people do it when they are 18 years old, others when they find a permanent job and some people stay until they get married! Please share your opinion!
11 responses
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
Living with the parent's house for me a little bit complicated even though they supporting financially and emotionally because most of the time they can see what you're doing inside their house and hear some comment or suggestions from them. I understand how you feel, when I was 16 I moved out from my parent's house I started to work while studying and support my own needs. But there are times that I lost my job and dont have a choice but to go back home for the meantime. During stayed with my parent's house I felt like that I am stranger because I am very comfortable living alone and doing everything I want without asking permission to anyone. After a month staying with my parents house I decided to moved out again and look for a job. Good thing when I got a job one of my cousin let me stayed in her apartment and we have separate room. I think the right time to move out from family's house when you know that your ready to support our own needs and take responsibilities to yourself. Having a good job even if its permanent or part time as long as it can support your needs then you have a right to start a new life away from your parents.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
Thank you Bhebelen! I will try harded and I think that eventually I will have what I want! Maybe it's a good idea to get a roommate, although I am very weird with the house and I want everything to be in order! I can't afford the whole house expenses but I could manage to make it work with half!
You seem like a hardworking person and you were lucky to get a job quickly after moving out. Thanks for your response!
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
25 Jul 12
You're right having a roommate is a good idea when your you want to start a new life because you can lessen your expenses and bills but need to be patient and extra careful to your roommate because it hard to be with someone you dont know well.
Thank you for choosing as best respond.
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
19 Jul 12
In my country, even if the kid has already started on having his own kids and family, he still lives wih his folks, bringing his family with him. This is mostly the case if resources are really low.
I'd say one should move out when he/she have managed to establish a stable job and a little put-by to start on. I did this when I was around 25 or 26. I'm proud to say that when I started working at 20 until I moved out, my parents need not help me out financially. Everything that I need I paid out of my savings. Until I got married.
When I was 18 I was still a broke college student and as per my experience I'm still not yet emotionally and financially ready to live on my own. My parents didn't actually kick me out, it was my decision to do so and they supported me for it. I guess because I waited, I was able to show to them that I'll be just fine on my own.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Jul 12
It's a tradition over here too. Most often, all the family lives in the same building. For example, the parents have the ground floor and the clidren the floor above or a house in the neighborhood.
It's nice that you were able to be independent from such a young age. I also did that but I always had a little bit of support from my parents. My mum used to visit me every few months and she was taking care of my super market shopping or for a bill that I hadn't paid. Even though it wasn't much, her help was valuable and I really appreciate it!
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
19 Jul 12
You're lucky that you also have your parents' support. Its always a comforting thought that they got your back. It was never easy to move out, especially on the first months, and I have to deal with roommates the first time. And then moved out again getting an apartment of my own when I was finally able to. It is something that we work on, and it is hatd work.
1 person likes this
@thaMARKER (2503)
• Philippines
19 Jul 12
i moved out from my parents house when i was about to go to high school. they want me to go to a better one. my sister took me in her place and stayed there until college then i moved in to a place on my own. my parents supported me all throughout my schooling and i was thankful i was separated from them since i was young, it was indeed a good training for me to stand on my own.
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
Staying alone and supporting yourself is a good lesson for young people. When I left home I was 18 and I didn't know how to boil an egg! I had no idea from cooking and cleaning and I had to learn how to support myself and be responsible for my actions. Sometimes, I see the difference between myself and people that have never left their house. We have completely different reactions and they often don't think about the consequences so much.
@marguicha (223795)
• Chile
20 Jul 12
I think that this is a very personal question and it depends on many things. I don´t like to live with my parents and never did since I got married at 18 years of age. It was the time to have a house of my own, no matter how small. We had moments of earning good money and other where it was very difficult. But never once did we think of moving back to one of our parent´s house. It seems we grew away from them in a way. We started having our own routines, we wanted to be free to invite people or to go out. Some other people though prefer the comfort of their parents home, even if they have to accept that they are the ones who make the rules (only fair as it´s their place).
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
You were married very young and you learned how to take responsibilities and face the difficulties from a young age. It is nice to have someone to share all those moments and it makes you stronger. Making the rules in my own house is what I need to do, I want to feel independent and since I am used in being this way, I feel the pressure from my parent's demands and their tendency to control my life.
@annavi23 (6522)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
I believe people should live their lives with their own when they get to have kids and family of their own. Is indeed being able to be independent and responsible and face life to heir own. Sometimes living with parents, parents gets to decide as if like you are still a kid. So to avoid that,we should have the financial needs to take care of our own. That's the problem we always face. If we live with our parents,it is always them who have the voice and feels like they are holding our necks we can't fight for our own lives.
That's why it should be a lesson for us to be more responsible and find ways to make money for us to be able to live separately from them.
I know families who still stay together with parents eventhough they already had many kids. The fact that this is happening is that most people still depends on their parents. This is really a bad thing. What's your say?
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
I think that both sides are responsible in that case. I think that everyone shouls have their own house and if they want to be close to theit family, they can find a place nearby or in the same neighborhood. Big families are great and they are fun, but sometimes we need privacy and personal space which is difficult to find if there are many people in one house!
@ddaguno (3107)
• Philippines
20 Jul 12
i think it depends on a person's level of maturity. if one is already responsible enough to provide for himself then he can move out from his parents house.
I moved when I got my 2nd job and I loved it but now I'm back with my parents because they wanted (practically begged) me to come home. They need help with their business so here I am helping.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
It sounds like a special case, if your parents need you then it is reasonable to go back and help them. I think I would do the same if I had to! If it's only temporary, you'll be able to go back again when your parents are ready to continue with the business without your help!
@KOSTAS499 (1624)
• Greece
19 Jul 12
It is always good to move out, no matter the age. It's up to every one how he/she feels about it. It is also affected by the relationship with the parents. It is good to be alone even if you have no job or money, because bad times teach us a lot. I am now unemployed and renting an appartment. I have some money fromn previous jobs and it is a tight squeeze for me, but decided to stay. It's up to you. There are no rules, when you feel it you must go.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
Thanks Kosta! I know, I like being alone and having a house just for myself! If you already have a house it is much easier, renting one from the beginning needs more money for furniture, fridge, washing mashine etc. I had all those from my student house but my brother took them when he moved to his own place! Now I only have my old bedroom furniture, my desk and some decorative stuff!
In any case having a job that can cover the expenses is essential because savings won't last for ever and the stress of having to struggle to pay the rent and bills every month is going to make me unhappy..
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
19 Jul 12
Hi friend, as you mentioned that you already stayed away from your parents, so there is nothing wrong in going away again, but you mentioned that you don't have a job now and have financial issues, better to move after getting a job, it is your safer side. There is no age for moving away, if we have the ability to live alone and had the maturity to care about our selves, then we will move away at anytime from our parents, if we are not comfortable with our home
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Jul 12
I have a job but the money isn't enough to get a house and pay all those bills. The salaries are so reduced with the crisis that even though I am working, I don't have enough money to support myself! It's going to be great if I will have the chance to move but then I'll have to get a second job and I won't have personal time..
@hareshbl (121)
• India
19 Jul 12
The decision has to be yours. It just depends upon how comfortable you are living with your parents. They love you and I sure have brought you up with all the care and love for you. The ideal time to move out is when you get a job or when you get married and are able to afford your own place.
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Jul 12
I know, if I was going to find a house with my bf it would be easier because we would share the expenses. When I was a student I was living with my brother so everything was half for me to pay! Moving to a new house by myself is going to be very difficult and I am not sure that I'll be able to cover all the expenses..
@ottranscednd (56)
•
19 Jul 12
hmm i'm married for many years now but I still go home frequently and cuddle beside my mother. It's one of the best place for me on this violent earth!
1 person likes this
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
20 Jul 12
Of course, our parents are the best people in the earth that can make us relax and remind us to believe in ourselves. But staying in the same house is very different! I want to have them close to me but I really need to get my own place and personal space.
@nia1023 (134)
•
19 Jul 12
I think it depends on you. Only you can decide if you really need to move out. I understand your frustration when they make decisions for you but you also have to think of them, you are in their house, eating their food and sleeping in your old room (as you've said, it's like you're a teenager again) They are your parents, it's difficult for them not to interfere.
There are several factors to consider but ultimately it's your decision. :)
@besweet (9859)
• Ireland
19 Jul 12
I know, that's why I am trying to be grateful, I live in their house! But on the other hand, I am ised in having my independence and I feel like I am going back instead of moving forward. I am already searching for rent prices and I will move out if I find something that I can pay!