2 income houshold
By ladyhill
@ladyhill (78)
United States
July 21, 2012 9:56am CST
Does anyone remember the daze when Dad went off to work and Mom stay home housekeeping and caring for the family. When she had time to prepare a good nutrition meal and it was waiting when her loved one returned home and everyone was at the dinner table together and Parent actually talked to their children? Today this is almost unheard of. I could not -No- I don't even want to think about surviving off of just my Husband's salary. How did they do it? This new way of life has changed everything. A double income household is a most, work days get longer, paid is less, Good quality family time is lessened, and the meals? Some kids think Mcdonalds is Monday the night special. For a while when the country 1st went into this recession I thought Oh God how will we survive financially. After seeing and hearing the news of all the children being lost by the way side, I now think Goodness! what a job that has been done on good family values and morals. I feel like we can't win. In order to feed the family both parents must work. If you choose to be there to properly guide the family and have a good solid foundation, The family doesn't eat!
1 person likes this
11 responses
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
21 Jul 12
It is definitely not easy being a stay-at-home parent these days. It is very difficult financially, and there are many times when I have absolutely no idea how I am going to manage to pay all the bills, but somehow we get by, although there are many times where we have to sacrifice our "wants" to be able to afford our "needs". In addition, people these days do not seem to respect the choice of parents (be it the mom or the dad) to stay home with the children ... there are many times when I have heard people say that I am too lazy to get a job, when in fact I used to hold two and sometimes three jobs at a time when necessary, and before my little one was born I was working six days a week. It is not a personal thing, though, as I have heard this comment about other stay-at-home parents as well, especially if it is the dad that is the one to stay at home and raise the children.
@ladyhill (78)
• United States
21 Jul 12
Stay at home Dads really get a bad rap. So sad, However in today's world a parent at home can make just as much if not more money working from home. So people should not be to fast to judge. Well unless they are sending money monthly to cover the bills. lol
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
23 Jul 12
3honor - Unfortunately, many do tend to think of being a stay-at-home parent as "not doing anything" when in fact most stay-at-home parents do more in a day than their counterparts do when you combine both their activities outside the house (at their "traditional job") and their activity in the household. I used to say that I could not be a stay-at-home parent, because it was too much work.
Ladyhill - Yes, some stay-at-home parents do also earn money by working at home, such as doing things online, and some can make a decent living doing it. There are others that do not, though. It is very difficult to focus on raising children and making the household a priority while you are also trying to eke out a living, and often one gets overlooked for another.
@squallming (1775)
• Malaysia
23 Jul 12
Today cost of living is so high yet the salary obtained is relatively smaller than the value it had some years ago. Forcing many family to have both father and mother to work in order to support their expenses. This situation does reduces the time family can spend together and it does contribute to many social problems. Of course, some people still manage to earn a decent income which does not require the wife to work. I hope I can do that.
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Some wives also manage to earn a decent income, which allows the husbands to stay at home and care for the family. It does not matter which parent stays home ... it should be the one that has the personality best suited for this as it is a difficult job to care for the children, maintain the household and keep things running smoothly not to mention that this particular job does not have "vacation benefits" like other jobs do.
@royalt85 (16)
• United States
21 Jul 12
This is why some parents choose to work at home. They can stay home with their children and save money on daycare. When the children are school aged, they can cook dinner on their lunch break to make sure it is ready when the child comes home. I'm not a parent, and likely won't be for some years. However, I hope I'll be able to balance everything with a family. I know it can be tough.
@TeamCholent (2832)
• United States
22 Jul 12
Well it depends on the income of the person earning the most. If they are earning enough and can allow the other spouse to stay home then why not? Kids can be taken care of, house will be well kept and everyone could be happy. Extra income though is never a bad idea and should never be rejected. People need to save when they can as one doesn't know what the next day will bring.
@purplealabaster (22091)
• United States
23 Jul 12
Actually, I do not think that the one that earns the most should necessarily be the one to work and the one that earns the least should be the one to stay home, although that does make sense from a financial standpoint. If the one that earns the least does not have the patience and temperament to be a stay-at-home parent, then it will not work very well. There are many factors to consider when making this decision, and money is only one of them ... and not necessarily the most important, either, depending upon your priorities, especially if your children have special needs.
@prospectboy (754)
• United States
22 Jul 12
I personally didn't know anything about what you are saying since my dad wasn't around, but I do get what you mean. The way that families operate now has changed quite a bit over time. For one thing, there are too many single parent homes in general. It's hard enough for two parents to raise kids, but it's extremely tough for one parent to work and take care of kids. I feel this is one of the main reasons why kids these days are easily influenced by negative factors. There isn't enough interaction between most parents and their kids. It's a tough situation, and it's good that you brought this topic up. There has to be more balance, but it's difficult with the cost of living etc.
@jirexpress (155)
• United States
21 Jul 12
Alot of the world has left the vaules found in THE WORD of GOD. Look at whats on television, radio, movies. Where is JESUS CHRIST? What we teach our children, the ways of the good and bad where is JESUS CHRIST? Then we have so called "Christian" who do the work of the devil, now the ones on the fence see that and say to theirselves "If they act that way, I wnt no part of it". It is GOD WHO provides, and if we give HIM priority HE can make it that we work for HIM only without a outide job or a single income. I seen it happen and it has happened for me. HE makes rich or poor, put one up or down. No JESUS CHRIST in your life, there will be consequences, sorry, worry, only to end up in torment for eternity. Not a life HE created us to have. We were created for HIS pleasure, but many think its to please themselves. HIS WORD is the blueprint for success its up to us to apply and obey and give HIMN the glory due HIS NAME.
@peavey (16936)
• United States
21 Jul 12
I do remember. My mom never worked and I was a stay at home mom for years. It's much better for the family. I think the thing that's lost is nurturing. It really hit home when my son and daughter in law had their first baby. She had no concept of how to cuddle the baby or hold her just because. She went back to work while the baby was two or three months old because she wanted to.
I know there are some families that really need both to work, but I know also that most families where both work are not doing it because they have to. There are so many ways to cut costs that a stay at home parent can make a real difference in the family's finances.
There have been studies made to show that two people working in a household can actually cost money. Figure in work clothes and shoes, wear and tear on the second car plus gas or the cost of other transportation, child care, fast food on those nights when you're just too tired to cook, personal treats for the same reason, financial obligations like chipping in for the boss's birthday gift and on and on.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
21 Jul 12
I remember those days. It's how I grew up. Back in the 60's most mom's stayed home and raised the kids, took care of the home etc. I think the women's movement changed all that. Once the kids were in school, a lot of women were not content to just stay home and do housework and cook and clean. It was expected but not always appreciated. I think the issue of family values goes way beyond money and both parents working. I had 4 kids and I always worked. For the most part, I raised them on my own and worked full time so they were raised in a one parent, one income family. Still, they never went without food and it was rare that McDonald's or any sort of fast food was a meal for them. I managed to fix nutritious meals for them even if it meant fixing them ahead of time and freezing them. As for family values, morals etc....my girls have them despite a crazy and busy schedule. It's all about priorities. I have seen kids raised in homes where the mother stays home and the father works that may as well be raising themselves.
@asyria51 (2861)
• United States
21 Jul 12
We are a two income household. My typical day is getting up at 5 in the morning to finish running the dryer from the clothes from the night before and then making breakfast. I will admit that some days pop tarts count as breakfast. Get my daughter ready and to the sitters by 7:45, I work 8 to 4 contractually as a teacher, but many times leave at 4:30. Get my daughter to swim lessons Monday and Wednesday by 4:50. Monday and Wednesday are grilled cheese or the like nights since we do not get home until close to 6 (but we have had a full shower at the YMCA, so do not have to worry about a bath too.) Eat dinner as a family, except every other Wednesday when my husband has meetings until 6:30, meaning he does not get home until after 7.
Tuesday, Thursday and Friday are home cooked meals. Not as elaborate as summer meals, but nutritious enough and we sit down most nights. Since my daughter is not in school yet we do not have to worry about fitting in homework yet. We do play time until about 7:30 and then bedtime routine of reading books and cuddling then finally bed time.
After that, it is about an hour and a half to two more hours of work for me. I can sometimes watch tv and grade papers, but most time it is just music in the background.
Summer we spend as much time together as we can to make up for the lack of time together during the school year.
As much as I would love to be a stay at home mom, I know that we could not afford it on my husbands teaching salary alone. I love my job, but I especially like it during the summer when I get to spend time with my kiddo.
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
21 Jul 12
for sure nowadays the lifestyle has changed to a considerable extent.Thats why nowadays if you see we are in a dire situation that both must go to work and make sure that they have to get a strong and wonderful solid foundation for the welfare.
The salary is less even though the people feel the recession might not get down ,so the only option to make sure everyone can enjoy life is only if we get to feed the family well and both the parents put in some good effort.
This is like a trend today
@Danniella1110 (106)
•
21 Jul 12
I love your topic of discussion! Well my parents are divorced and I cant remember the last time the term money wasnt used every 2 days. Money has always been an issue even when they were married. My so called father took all of her money including the money she saved up for my siblings and I. Now he does pay alimony but it has never been enough because needs in the household are still not enough so the budget is crazy trying to stretch every last cent.
And since I was a pre-teen, till now, my mother has only worked a 9-5 job which comes with a steady income for max about a month because she chose take care of my siblings and I first as well as money. She works from home but it is an unstable income. There would be times when she would explode out of pressure and say that we are ungrateful and blablabla but I get it, she's just under a lot of it. And I have to admit there would be times I want to get mad because she still depends on this alimony when she had the chance to get a stable income as would that not be the way? Since money is so important, we don't have to depend on that 'father'. I do love her that she puts family first to do the cleaning and cooking and work through the laptop everyday. I dont know whether its me being ungrateful for debating with myself in my head that why wont she work the 9-5 perhaps so she wont scream at us the next time we are short of cash.
I am on a scholarship now , I honestly did not have any other way to work. Half the scholarship money I used for us to move into a smaller place because we couldnt afford to pay the house we lived in previously.
Having lived this way, I do appreciate the little things in life and suffering does build character. Since it will be a long way to go until I get married and have kids, I choose to be financially stable first on my own first and keep half away from my husband in case he pulls an act like my 'father'. This other half will be used as the double income with my husband. I will choose to work from home but knowing I have more than enough money for emergencies.