I stood up to him
By SomeCowgirl
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
United States
July 21, 2012 9:05pm CST
A member in my family is nothing but a big bully. Not to mention the person likes to repeat themselves. Everytime I walk down the hall and he's going up it (so we cross paths) he always blocks the air thing. I got so mad at him repeating WHY for the millionth time that I talked back. I normally don't. He got mad, I shut the door, he comes down the hall opens it and yells then slams it. I open it and continue to yell. I didn't let him win this time.
He's the same one who won't let anything get fixed in the house, and generally makes us feel suppressed. I basically got him to admit that it was not us he was concerned about when knockin ginto the air thing but the air thing itself. Everytime he said something to try to win I proved him wrong.
Well I have to drive the car a certain way, he says.
I come back with "or you could get it FIXED!"
and he doesn't say anything.. just walks off.
I told another family member I wasn't going to let him yell at me anymore, not like that. I don't think he'll mess with me now though as he knows I won't let him yell at me. He like to fight (okay I do too) but since he got debunked each time he brought something up.. I kind of doubt he'll really try to yell at me again for awhile.
I feel better though, much better.
Is there someone in your family you should stand up to? Have you stood up to them and how did it make you feel?
3 people like this
7 responses
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
I have an uncle that always wants to put his nose into someone's life and he did the same to a specific part of my life and at that time I decided to stand up to him and confront him. I got so mad and yelled so many things to him. He always got things his way because some of my siblings worked for him and lived with him but I don't owe him anything, so I thought that he couldn't just come into everyone's life just because of that, especially not mine. It got really hot and it ended with tears and anger. Several minutes later though, I decided to apologize for that. If there's one thing important to me, it's respect and I have shown none during that time, so I apologized about my reaction but I told him and myself that things will be different because I will remain the same and I will appreciate it if he will no longer meddle with anything related to me.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
I understand how you must have felt. I didn't apolgize to this person but I felt like. I stopped myself though because he shows no real appreciation for people and he would not have appreciated the apology, instead he would have thought it was right for me to do. It may have been, but he won't get one from me.
I don't like feeling tied to anyone in the family and working for them / with them can be really bad. I'm glad you don't, but I do feel for your family members who do and who feel they owe him something and let him meddle so much in their life...
I hate meddling.
@choybel (5042)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
My older brother has had it with him, too and left him. Now my brother is doing so much better. Most of my relatives now and almost all of my family members choose to ignore him. Sometimes, when I really think about it, I pity him. I know that he means good with what he is doing but he should at least learn to respect privacy.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
I suppose he at first was doing it out of the kindness of his heart but doesn't realize how much he is snooping into people's lives. I have a grandmother that is the same way to the extent that if there is something I don't want her to know and she asks I flat out lie. She gets appeased and me too.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
yeah this person LOOOVES to be right and doesn't like being PROVEN he's wrong. Told he's wrong? oh he'll just talk over you.
Lucky you, I live with THIS person and it's quite annoying.
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
Takes a special person to love someone like that and not smack them real good lol.
1 person likes this
@ElusiveButterfly (45940)
• United States
22 Jul 12
It is good to get out your feelings rather than hold them in. If he can't take the fact that you stand up for yourself, too bad. I have people in my family who try to do the same. I do not let them get the upper hand.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
He's been a bully to everyone for so many years and only a few are brave enough to stand up to him. Most don't come around because of one or the other, and it's sad. Of course the house is a mess, I'm trying to remedy that. I have plans to make it a brighter place to live, I can't stand the depression.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
You left him alive, didn't you?
he should be grateful for that after all his idiocy.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
22 Jul 12
I don't have to stand up to anyone now. When I was married my ex would get an idea in his head and the roof would come off the house with his expounding about it. I would try to explain how I felt but to no avail. He was the only thing who knew anything. Most of the time he was drunk and just had this idea in his head. Then there was my granddaughter and we were all alpha women living under te same roof. It got hairy sometimes. Luckily she doesn't live with us anymore.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
23 Jul 12
When people who are equally as hard headed get together, it can get hairy and fast! I'm hard headed myself and determined. I heard back that the person I had a fight with told another person THEY DEMAND RESPECT and that I needed to be told that. I already know they DEMAND it, but demanding it and deserving it are two different things.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (166761)
• Boise, Idaho
23 Jul 12
That is SOOOO true. I would laugh in this person's face rather than show respect. They obviously don't deserve it. Its one of thos situations where I would say my peice, they would say theirs, and then I would shake my head and walk away. You know what the real points are here.
@savagecabbage (1216)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
Not really. I haven't really experienced this is in my family. But I think I can apply this to school bullies too. When i was still a kid, those big girls who were taller than the majority became bullies and made other kids do things like throw stuff in the trash can or do their homework. Usually no one stands up to these kids but they simply tell the teacher. they tell someone who has the authority and that person will usually punish the bullies. It is good that you stood up to the bully! Congratulations. Defend yourself and protect yourself. No one has the right to bring you down but yourself. Happy mylotting. Stay brave!
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
Yes I've had to deal with bullies too when I was in school, it's a sad sad thing but it does make us stronger somehow. Sometimes though telling the teacher didn't help, just made it worse. Even if they were disclipined it's going back for more after.
Thanks and you have a great day!
@p3halliwel2005 (3156)
• Philippines
22 Jul 12
I used to cry when this person in my family fights with me with no apparent reason. I hurt myself by punching the walls and slitting my wrist. This way pain in my heart would go to the pain I cause don myself. Yes, it's stupid I know. I realized that...so I learned to fight him off. I made him realize that I won't stand being pushed around. I made him know he is not my priority and I would live without him in my life. I talked to him and reasoned with him. When he shouts at me , I shout as well. I try my best though to be positive in everything and don't try and make anything worser than it is already. After the bouts, all cease and we move on. Sometimes people like this just lacks attention and they think they can do what they please. We just have to show them we are as tough as they and we need to show them we can live without them if they continue with this. Our fights grew less over the years. We used to have it physically as well but now it changed. We shout at each other at times and there are times I still get mad at him but time passes and things change. So I lived with those change. It make me feel better to see that change in him.
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
22 Jul 12
I think it's too far gone for this person to change, and I think it was too far gone a long long time ago before I was even thought of, or my mother thought of (as in born). I'm glad that your bully seems to be changing and you learned to cope with him and fight back. It's always a bad idea to hurt oneself, but I know you know that.
I understand how you must've felt though and the reason you felt it was right for you to do that. I am so glad you realized what you were doing is wrong and faced your bully though.
