It happened again! Anxiety Attack Dream.
@allyoftherain (7208)
United States
July 27, 2012 3:22pm CST
A few weeks ago I made a discussion about having a dream where my social anxiety took over and I had a panic attack in my dream. It sort of confused me because I couldn't recall any dreams in the past where I had a dream where I could identify my social anxiety within the dream. Recently, I'm been going to therapy and been on medication, so in reality my social anxiety is at a very good low.
But last night I had another dream where I had an anxiety attack, and it was ten times worse than the last one. There were some similarities, it started off with me going into a Sunday School classroom and discovering to my horror that it is packed to the brim with people. I try to find a small corner to withdraw to, but I wind up cornered by not-so well remembered people I knew in high school. They're asking me how college is going (the real answer to this question being that I dropped out, and whenever someone I haven't seen in awhile brings it up, I do genuinely get anxious) and I start to feel the panic set in. I make a hasty retreat to the bathroom and sit in solitude for a blissful moment before girls start coming in by twos and threes until the bathroom is just as packed as the classroom was. They're asking me questions too. By that point I'm hysterical. I go looking for my Mom, and she (in a very unlike my mom way) tells me to bug off. So then I try calling my doctor, thinking that this is one of those trouble-shooting times where I just need her to talk me through my coping skills. As technology tends to go in dreams, my darn phone has decided it's complicated as rocket science. I can't find my contacts. I look in my purse for her card, and I'm pulling out all sorts of junk and can't find her card. Which doesn't matter anyway, because my phone has hidden its number keypad. I start resorting to self-injurious behavior.
Then I wake up, and the first thing I feel is utter relief that it was just a dream! You ever have a wake-up moment like that? The second thing I feel is something akin to horror, because the panic attack felt ridiculously real. I was practically hyperventilating when I woke up, as opposed to the previous dream that I just kind of shook off. Just thinking about it now is making me anxious. I know I shouldn't pay it any mind, cause it was a dream and I don't believe in dreams having any meaning. But still, there's this part of me that feels like my safe-haven has been violated.
I rarely have nightmares of any kind. If you've followed the discussions I've posted in the "Dreamer" interest, I typically have pretty adventurous dreams that I wake up from feeling entertained and inspired by. Even though I have this mental illness, I've rarely seen reflections of it in my dreams, except for the place where I was in the deepest part of my depression last year. These kind of nightmares are worse than being chased by monsters for me, because they strike too close to home. They're too real. Too plausible. I'm not sure how to cope with a panic attack based on an event that didn't happen.
I'm going to go breathe deeply for ten minutes and see if that helps...
1 response
@janiece (55)
• United States
27 Jul 12
Well taking a deep breath is a good first step.
I used to have panic attacks a few years back and it really helped when it started happening to consciously and deliberately calm myself down.
I did that by focusing on slowing my breath, taking deep breaths, repeating to myself that whatever it was that I was anxious about was going to be OK. Everything would work out.
If there was no apparent reason for the attack. I would tell myself everything is fine and there's no reason to be scared or anxious.
I would try to visualize my self calming down. See in my minds eye my breath and my heart beat slowing down. If I focused and breathed deeply long enough. It would finally go away.
@allyoftherain (7208)
• United States
28 Jul 12
Thanks Janiece! I think that would really help. It's also nice to know that there are other people on mylot who experience the same kinds of things.