Who has the last say, husband or wife?
By galloper30
@galloper30 (50)
Philippines
July 29, 2012 2:09am CST
Given all things equal, say in terms of education, financial status, who makes the final decision in family matters. More often than not, the breadwinner in a family, the father in most cases, makes the decision. But nowadays, we see families where the mother is the breadwinner, and decides in behalf of his husband. In a husband-and-wife relationship, there always emerges a party with a stronger personality, or one party gives-in in favor of the other. Family decisions such as whether to engage in business or not, where to send a child in college, to work abroad or not affect the entire family. In a situation where each party are on equal footing, who has the last say in decision-making, the husband or the wife?
2 people like this
10 responses
@else22 (4317)
• India
29 Jul 12
I am a married man.My wife is less educated than me.She is less smart than me either.My family is also richer than hers.What I intend to say is that we are not on equal footing.But I never dishonor my wife and I have given her freedom to take decisions in all matters.When we tied knot,I noticed that she had an inferiority complex.The same moment I decided to boost her self respect.Now sometimes she takes the best possible decisions.Thus in my family either of us wife and husband has the last say.I never take any decision without consulting my wife.And she is fast regaining her self respect and self confidence.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
29 Jul 12
You are a lucky man in that your wife knows her limitations.Sometimes women who are inferior may be unable to handle a big responsibility['inferior' by means of not having handled finances till marriage]; from what you have written I guess she is a docile person and has followed you implicitly.There are others whom I know who have less capabilities but think a lot about theirs.Then it becomes necessary for the man to take a firm rein on the household because such people can be immature and they make take wrong decisions.
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
29 Jul 12
For me, the husband has the final say. In decision making, it is the father who would usually decide for the family but definitely, the wife can give her opinions and views about them. It is up to the father if he would find those inputs appropriate to consider and apply.
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
I agree. The husband has the final say. Look how it goes:
Wife: lets buy this roce cooker. It is in good brand and cheap. What do u think?
Husband: i think this other one is much better. A little expensive though
W: but that is out of our budget. Lets just settle to this cheaper one. Is it okay?
@ronadelle (1547)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
Husband: yes dear! No problem. Lol. (see, the husbands last say)
@nita04 (268)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
For me, it doesn't matter who has the edge, as long as you have respect to each others opinion and consider what benefits you the most, that is all that matters.
@gmwalterhouse (51)
• Singapore
7 Aug 12
I must say it should be equal.
Depends I guess on the setup of the couple.
For me and my hubby kasi depends which really makes the most sense for the good of our family. Doesnt have to be him, but if I am on PMS it definitely has to be me! haha
@debbygirl (213)
• Philippines
30 Jul 12
with me and my husband?actually in varies.
Depending on the issue we are discussing then the right person would have the final say. But to my respect to my hubby, what he says i listen and try to follow, but it always depends. :)
@jaelbawan (26)
•
30 Jul 12
I say, decision making in a family is like having a boxing fight with only two judges. A boxer can only win if he gets two votes. Same with having a family decision, both the husband and the wife must agree to the decision...
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
29 Jul 12
Finally everything boils down to money.If a wife is willing to spend totally from her money in giving a premium education to a child or a man is willing to do it, the person footing the bill tends to have an ultimate say. Only when it is a matter of pooling resources it becomes a problem and calls for a lot of understanding and perspective.
@doroffee (4222)
• Hungary
29 Jul 12
I think it depends on the situation. So, ideally, and I'm going to try to maintain this with my boyfriend (whom I'd like to be my husband), we would take turns or if one of us is more competent in a topic, they would have the last choice. If I had to chose someone, though, it would be husband... as I like men who have strong opin ions about the world and whom I can look up to... (not in the case a man is kept, though... then it should be the woman, if any, of course).
@Jennib1 (62)
• South Africa
29 Jul 12
Our family just consists of myself and my husband. Although he is the bread winner I am fortunate to have a husband that will consult me and ask my opinion in all matters that will also affect me. Once we have discussed the pros and cons of a situation I do not mind him making the final decision, especially if it is a serious matter. I also realize that he is happy when I support his decision even though I might not be a 100 percent in agreement. Although I am perfectly capable to make my own decisions I do not have any desire to wear the pants in the house by having the last say.
@centuryblack (76)
• India
29 Jul 12
I agree with you galloper. In today's time ladies are on the decision making side. As the mentally of people changed they start analyzing that wives can also make very good decision and even in many situation make the best decision.
