Bully at Work

I can relate to this topic because I used to have a colleague at work who was a bully as well. She was a bully but in a manner that she did not attack me directly, she was in fact very kind to me but I could tell it was very superficial. She gets what she wants by acting soft outside but you would know that she spreads rumor behind your back. She is one unhappy person. Being around her is like being in a room full of negative energy. I don't work with her anymore because she was caught stealing big sum of money from the office. That's when I realized why she acted the way she did. She was hiding a very dark secret.

Sounds like she has anger issues within herself that she can't resolve and take it out on others. Sounds like she's not going to change in the near future. If this has been happening years ago, did anybody dared to stand up to her? If leaving your job is not an option, maybe you can just avoid her or ask for transfer.

I guess the best way, although it might not be easy to do, is to talk to her but not in a confrontational manner. I've always believed that people should stand up to bullies or else the bullying would persist. But standing up to someone need not be in an aggressive manner, just assertive. And since you were good friends once, maybe a casual conversation with her about this bullying matter might be enough :)

I really thought that you are referring to one of my colleagues here at work. She almost exactly what you have described. The only difference is we're not friends eversince. The first time I met her, she already made sure that I would know who she is and what she is capable of and so I always kept my distance to her. But once in a while, this lazy woman would tell me to do this and that as if I am her secretary. I would just follow and would not really talk. She also likes inventing stories about other people but we all know that she has actually loaned an amount because she has to pay all the expenses for what she calls her grand wedding. I pity her. What we can do is just let them do what they want. Eventually, people would know the truth and she will lose her integrity. A people without integrity will never be trusted again, whatever she say, people would just think that she is lying. But if you still care about your friend, maybe you can try talking to her and open her eyes and tell what other people think about her. Maybe she isn't aware about it and someone should show her the real picture. But of course, there are consequences. If she listens to you and try to consider what you will say, then it is good. But if it is the other way around, prepare yourself for you have gained an enemy.

that happens to me most of the time.there was one incident when my friend used to bully another guy at office a lot and he always plays pranks on him.one fine day after so much the guy reacted and he was bullied by all.so you just have to be patient and relax and handle it calmly and wait for a window to pin him down

Sounds like a relative of mine who did and does things like that still to this day but is starting to mellow out slightly now she is getting older. I know things will flare up again though one day, they always have this habit of theirs like you mentioned. They do it over and over so that probably either means it's just their personality or they get something out of it, as a cruel thing they are about. I wish and hope people like that just one day realize their actions, but I won't hold my breathe waiting. Once that way always that way, and they never think they are wrong.