Maintaining a healthy relationship with the in-laws, why too difficult?
@dreamie_belle (94)
Philippines
August 4, 2012 7:08am CST
For married couples, one of the hardest challenges that they may encounter is dealing with the in-laws (parents-in-law and sisters-in-law, in particular). Some may not find any problem about it but most that I have known (including me) are truly having hard challenges maintaining good relationships with their in-laws. Others say it's because members of different families have different cultures and most in-laws have these common attitudes of being too demanding of respect and being authoritative. It's even the hardest when all the siblings of your husband are females who are senseless and full of pretenses who know nothing of intelligent talks but always enthusiastic about gossips.
Talking from experience, when you got in-laws who are of opposite personalities as yours, great chances are... you clash. It's difficult to understand but it is reality. And no matter how hard you try to fit in, too many differences and gaps always find their way to brush you off. It seems frustrating at times but there is still optimism in me (though very minute) that things will work out fine in time...
2 people like this
9 responses
@Fulltank (2882)
• Philippines
4 Aug 12
Hi, I think I am the few people who had great relationships with my in-laws. Its not that I am the perfect husband for their daughter but I think I had prove to them that I can take good care of their daughter very well. We can't choose our in-laws as we only choose the woman whom we love. And with that loved, we also learn to love the people whom our spouses loved the most. Its one thing we should be able to learn and accept before we took our bow of living together for eternity.
@dreamie_belle (94)
• Philippines
4 Aug 12
Hi fulltank, you're blessed to have a good relationship with your in-laws. How I wish it is that easy for me too to maintain a good relationship with them. I may be frustrated at times but I am still optimistic that someday soon it'll happen. Thanks for sharing.:)
@nykalex88 (243)
• Philippines
9 Dec 12
Don't get too affected with your in-laws. I know that they're living near Tubod Elementary School. The most important is your relationship with your husband. If you have a great relationship, your in-laws will just support to that. Don't make issues with your in-laws. That will only ruin your family.
@Eppie2010 (509)
• Philippines
7 Aug 12
Hi dreamie... good thing I live so far away from my in-laws and they are busy types that only requires us to see them during special occasions (Christmas, New Year, Birthdays, etc.) which I think not more than 10 times a year.
@pink_passion (279)
• Philippines
15 Sep 12
I'm so blessed to have a good relationship with my in-laws. It's not perfect though we had personal issues in the past. Inspite of the issues, we never argued or stopped talking to each other. We talked about the issues and it's either I compromised or they did. It' just that simple the most important factor in our relationship is RESPECT.
I hope you can resolve yours too. i know of some who had difficulty at first and unexpectedly get along well as time goes by.
@aejey322 (1004)
• Philippines
6 Aug 12
As to my experience, it's the culture or the belief that made it difficult. It's even an issue with my husband sometimes. It's good that we (in-laws) do not see each other that often. But most of the time, I just ignore it and just give respect to whatever they say and just let it go out through the other ear. So we won't clash.
@joneilromana (226)
• Philippines
4 Aug 12
Maybe because at the first place the in-laws doesn't like their child's husband or wife. If in the very first place they already liked him or her for the child there would be a problem. Parents tend to be very protective about there child.In the sense, they do not want to be away from them. or maybe because one has done wrong has a bad reputation. I happens.
@riyauro (6421)
• India
4 Aug 12
hi, as far as i have noticed, it is mostly common for a girl. I have my sister in laws (brothers wives) but we are in very good terms with each other. we share what we have. But my husband's family is crazy. I have never fought with anyone and have no grudges against anyone. My husband's sister is good to me as well and his brother also. But this mother of his is the culprit (no offence). If you have been following my post then you will know that we want to make restaurant of our house. It was my husbands idea, he has been telling from last year. So she is telling me that the restaurant will not work, there are not people on the island and all this rubbish. she is telling me, that I must have give this idea to him. My blood was boiling but I did not say a word. We are trying to do something, instead of helping she is saying this. Even a positive word from her would have been enough. but no, anything we do, she comes whining with her negative energy.
What to do with this kind of lady?
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
4 Aug 12
In my observation, those who have the most conflict with in-laws are those couple who live with their parents. My mom always tells me that in a castle, there can never be two queens or two kings. Chances are, authorities for the family's decision making will always be challenged by the "other queen". The couple should maintain a safe distance from their parents, far enough for them to miss them and make decisions without any parent dropping by unexpectedly to give them their piece of mind.
Fortunately, I have a very good relationship with my in-laws, even if we're both of different nationalities and culture. In a way I can understand them, because they are just being parents who will always want the best for their kids. But once they see that their son or daughter is happy, they will back off and be more confident in their daughter or son in law's ability as their kid's spouse.
