Spending money on bills
By Suggar
@Suggar (3606)
Bulgaria
August 4, 2012 3:30pm CST
Last night we were watching a sitcom. The story of the sitcom is a family living in the 80th, living poor, the father is working two jobs, the mom is working at times and when she start feeling bored of her job, she makes little theater and leaves, they are having 3 kids.
So while we were watching I connected something I heard in the sitcom with out own life. The man saw the paid bills notes and knowing the specific amount of the bills this family owes he saw that his wife is paying only the half of the owed money, not all of the amounts. He asked why so, she didn't explain. He said o.k., then I will start dealing with the bills. When he started to deal with the documents of the paid bills, his woman found him with the paperwork and started checking the notes for paid bills. She said - that's why I don't allow you to deal with the bills, because you pay the full amounts.
Later when they were around the table the woman explained exactly why she pays only half of each bill. Her logic was that if they are paying all of their bills in full size, they wouldn't have money for food for next days. Knowing when the family will get another income she calculated that paying only half of the bills will save them, til the next income when she can cover the left amounts of each bill.
That is something I am trying to explain my boyfriend all the time. I know exactly when we will have income, I know when I can expect my money in my accounts. My boyfriend is free to withdraw them once they are able for withdrawing. So when the dates for both of us match he always offer me - let's pay this and this and the other thing. I am always saying that if we pay so many bills at once, we will have no money left til the next income of money we are expecting as example 10 days after the first income. So he says o.k. ... But I am not sure he realize what I am talking about. He is saying o.k. just to shut my mouth and I to stop talking about this. He is always expecting from me to find any solution in the last moment. Something like some money left in some debit card or food we have at home, which he didn't know that we had.
They say that a woman is not very good at managing bills and expenses and incomes. But I feel like my boyfriend would never be able to do all of these things. He just doesn't show any interest of what we have at home, what are the prices we pay about food and simple things we use at home, such like soaps, shampoos, others ...
What would you say about this? Any thoughts? 
8 responses
Thank you for the nice words. 
Missed you.
@jcheddar (2)
• United States
5 Aug 12
What makes it easier is that I find out the cost of all my necessities first. Then I stick to a budget so I can distinguish from my needs and wants. I make sure I can simplify my spending so I won't feel like I am living paycheck to paycheck. I made the mistake of not paying off the debt first and the penalty fees add up. Money is a sensitive subject in a relationship. I suggest reading a book called Money Harmony.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
5 Aug 12
I don't need book for now.
We are not late with any bills, I do my best to wait til the last days for the payment, because as someone said earlier - everything may happen.
And also a big pain ... is that we don't have fridge at home. So I can't buy food for like 1-2 weeks and keep it in the fridge and be calm that we will be able to eat a week or two calmly, with spending only very small amounts for bread or the most needed.
@thersdae_me (327)
• Philippines
5 Aug 12
I understand where you're coming from because there was also a time before when we had much UNEXPECTED expenses and my husband got worried because I was always telling him that I'd skip paying the utility bills for the month and just pay half the credit card bills, and the like, because it will stretch the remaining budget until the next payroll time. He was worried as I am that we may not have enough money to cover all the expenses and to my dismay, offered to take on with him the budgeting task.:(
Since my husband and I married, I've been taking care of the family's budget. We have three kids, two of whom are enrolled in private schools and one is a chubby two-year old girl who consumes quite a lot of powdered milk and diapers! Lol. Of course there's the monthly utility bills, credit card bills, daily expenses, etc. etc.
In this regard 'tis a necessity that we manage our finances well. That's why I have a ledger where I write down all incoming money, all outgoing expenses, and the MONTHLY SAVINGS that we have. It's detailed and easy to understand that just by merely looking at it I can foresee whether we will have more or less in the coming months. I am not an accountant but somehow, I learned to handle our budget quite well that my husband entrusted me with it along with his ATM card. :)
Therefore, it was a surprise when he asked me if I'd like to transfer the burden of handling the family budget to him. It was a dismay for me and I told him that if there's one person who can ensure we pass that month without making a loan, that will be ME. We almost had a heated argument, of course, because I felt he did not trust me enough, and he the same way, but after a long talk, we settled. I showed him my ledger and he understood.=)
If you've been the "budget officer" before and obvoiusly, were able to maintain it in good condition in the past months or years, there's no reason why he should not trust you with it. My husband is very comfortable with the way I handle our budget that it sounds like an emergency bell whenever he hears me worrying about being unable to pay some bills or what. He'll admit he's not used to it thus he easily reacts in panic mode. Maybe it is the same way with your partner. Don't take him negatively and just remain firm that you can handle the situation, and will still, and always, take care of the budget. This wil give him peace of mind. =)
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
5 Aug 12
He perfectly knows what I mean, but he is little different character than me. He prefers to not owe money, instead of having comfortable time while we don't need anything at home. He always feel like we will be well like that, but he doesn't realize that being well is my fault, no one's else fault, because I am thinking for solutions in the last moments, always find small amounts left here and there.
He trust me, but he is changing his moods all the time.
I am trying to explain him that we just can't afford everything at once - paying all of our bills at once and feeling calm that we have something to live with. The money we make are not that much and also we both work online, so we receive money few times a month. I am receiving mine in the middle of the month and at the start of the month. He is able to be flexible by collecting money in his account and withdrawing them at once when they reach higher amount.
@NailTech (6874)
• United States
4 Aug 12
I see what you are saying and it makes sense to me. There are people who think paying off all the bills at once will be better and others who think that they can have more of their expenses like food, etc paid for if they only pay for half of the bills at once. It can be hard to get some ideas into some people's heads when they are used to doing things one way, it does take some really good strategy to pay bills and how and when. I think you have some good skills at paying bills, the timing, etc. I would have never thought of that myself, you even gave me a good idea on how to do my own bills now that I have coming in that have been overwhelming to me, thank you.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
5 Aug 12
We are not actually paying the bills in their half, but when seeing some more cash in our accounts my boyfriend say let's pay more things at once, like the net bill, the water bill and the electricity bill. He just think to clear dept as soon as possible and to not owe, but he very often forget that if we clear all we owe, then next days we must ask some of my friends to borrow us money, which will lead to another new dept we must give at some time. I don't really like to owe money, but happens that way, that we receive money few times a month, so some bills has to wait until their pay date so we can spend the time somehow and make more money.
@ARIES1973 (11426)
• Legaspi, Philippines
5 Aug 12
Personally, I would pay my bills in full because I don't want to pay penalty. I always told my children to minimize the use of appliances and to save whenever possible on electricity and water so that we will only pay a minimal amount at the end of the month.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
5 Aug 12
I am like that, I would love to save as much as possible and to have free money for use put in the budget for food or something else we need at home, but the bills doesn't work like that here. With or without use we pay nearly the same bill as last month, it just looks like they don't calculate everything for every single month, they use the old information and that's how they write the new bill.
@Raine38 (12389)
• United States
5 Aug 12
I say if I let my husband do the bills paying, then we will end up paying more than necesasry without savings and we will have a short on funds the following month. My husband tends to pay everything when there's money available; I on the other hand extends the money we have and pay clloser to the due date. In between those dates, a lot can happen. He doesn't think that far, if he's got the money then he will pay for it all.
@asliah (11137)
• Philippines
29 Dec 12
hi,
spending money on bills is paying the provider for the services they did in our life,such as the electric bill,life would become more comfortable if we have electricity at home,like an internet,we more have fun at home and lessen the boring but of course we need to pay their services.spending money for more good life we will have.
@jirexpress (155)
• United States
4 Aug 12
It really depends o the strengths of the parties, you have to have that communication in tact to make things work, but most importantly THE LORD as 1st priority
