I Think It's Rude...
By Jennifer
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
Valdosta, Georgia
August 4, 2012 8:01pm CST
So, our family was supposed to come stay with us for a few days while visiting here. So they get here at 1pm. They tell us they have some things to do and they will be back in about an hour. Okay, fine. They are gone for 6 hours, we don't know if they are planning to have dinner with us or not. Their phones were at our house charging so we had no way to ask them. So, we make dinner and were clearing out the room for them to sleep in tonight. They get back, they told us oh were going to my sisters house to eat and spend the night... Um, okay. We were told they were staying here the whole time, we make enough dinner for everyone, clear the room out and they all of a sudden change all of the plans? At least let us know ahead of time. We could have saved ourselves some work. Geez!
I just think these types of things are so rude! What about you? Agree or not?
6 people like this
22 responses
@911Ricki (13588)
• Canada
5 Aug 12
I agree it is very rude indeed. Even if they didn't know for sure to bring it like we stay at so and so house or they invited us. I wouldn't invite them again nor suggest staying with you let them stay at a hotel. Shows how they don't want to be around you or your family, I would take it as a slap in the face.
1 person likes this
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah I thought so too but sometimes I let my emotions do my thinking so I wasn't sure if I was over reacting or not. From all of the responses here I don't think I was over reacting. Others see it too.
1 person likes this
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
6 Aug 12
I totally agree with you. Even being at the same family, people must respect their host. Telling you they will stay for a couple of days with you, probably messed up the plans of your own family because of their stay to your home. So they should told you what are they thinking to do and not waste your time with doing everything perfect for guests.
@Suggar (3606)
• Bulgaria
6 Aug 12
If they haven't called til now, I think all what happened saved you a lot of stress. People having no respect to our plans, schedules, appointments, changing even a day in our life because of their own advantage are the people who also doesn't have my respect if they are not showing respect to me.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
Yes people should have more respect than that to others, especially people who are opening their home to you. It did change plans for us having them here, or thinking they were going to be here and then not! They have not come here at all today or even so much as called us.
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Oh that is totally rude..I would sit down with them and tell them that it is fine if they want to eat or sleep somewhere else, but you need to know about it. What if you had to leave and they came back to a locked house? I would ask them when they will spend time with you and that you need to know because if they are not going to be there, you are not going to put your life on hold until they decide to come back.
Also, make sure they charge their phones overnight and take their phones with them, tell them they can't leave them charging in case you need to contact them.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah I thought so too but I wasn't entirely sure if I was right or over reacting. So, if they do come back here I will talk with them about it so it doesn't ever happen again.
They deserved to come back to a locked house! Lol. I feel like it anyway now because I am annoyed about it.
1 person likes this
@carmelanirel (20942)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Well if they don't want to spend time with you, they can't expect you to stay at home all the time. Of course you could give them a key, if they are trustworthy, but some relatives are not and that is where a problem may occur if you happen to go out and they need to go into your home for something.
@reagandsouza007 (32)
• India
5 Aug 12
If i were you, after the first time they changed plans on me, next time i wouldnt cook food or anything for them, until they call and tell me they're comming for lunch or dinner. This way you're not being rude to them. And if there's no food for them at your place, its their fault coz they didn't inform you. Let them have some food delivered or eat out. Simple.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah it was rude. I thought it was but then I thought maybe I was over reacting and letting my emotions get in the way.
Now that everyone here is saying it was rude as well, I know I was not over reacting!
I will talk to them if they come back. So far they have not came here again...We will see what happens.
@regandsouza7~ Yes your right. The next time it happens I am not cooking for them. They will be on their own. I am not going through all of this trouble again for nothing.
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
5 Aug 12
Yes, feeling desp..., who ever it is, they should have to inform well in advance if they already agreed upon something assuming that it should not be an inconvenience to others. They must have tried to contact you but couldn't. However, these days if we get certain confirmation for such things, it will be more appropriate to do things and a lot of waste as well as time could have been saved. It is always recommended that people should have a mutual understanding in all things which make life more better. 
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
6 Aug 12
Now you can give a friendly advice that at least for next time they should inform in advance that will reduce the trouble to others. These days, this is an important matter we need to consider, take care of ourself and others too. All are busy with something or other and whenever we pay attention to others and they also shoul be bothered of such things and better to keep in mind that because of we people, others should not get in trouble. Again, be good other others is always considred as a good manner and a best hospitality what we can do for others.
Have a nice day.
Have a nice day.@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
Yeah they told us they were staying here so that is what we got prepared for. To have enough food and room for them. Then they come back and change everything! No, they did not try to contact us. They had both of our numbers.
@bjc66bjc (6730)
• United States
5 Aug 12
LovingMyBabies, Thats really to bad, you know you just don't
expect adults to act like that...to be so imconsiderate...
But you know what don't stress it, you now what tomorrows dinner
already prepared,,,the room is also clean out in case they
decide to come back and spend the night...just go on with your
life because you see now that you can't make plans for them.
Don't be inconvenienced for them any more...
And hope before they leave and go back home they will realized
how wrong of a move that was...You just don't do things like that
to people...
Carry on with your life. LOL,,,
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah, it was rude but that is why I have here to vent. Lol. I take all of my anger out here or in my journal. It makes things easier for me rather than go crazy on people! Lol.
They are not worth my time to waste on. You are absolutely right. If they come back, fine if not that is fine too. =)
@GardenGerty (160708)
• United States
5 Aug 12
I think it was rude, or inconsiderate, and maybe just clueless. This may be how they run their life all the time. In other words, it was rude, but not necessarily personal, just ignorant on their part and inconsiderate. They may treat everyone this way.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
Yeah maybe they didn't do it on purpose but I find it quite strange that they have not called or came by here since last night! Hmmm... 
@taheraa (1545)
• Giza, Egypt
5 Aug 12
The problem lies in the order of individuals and families to their priority and their personal interests first, without consideration to the circumstances and priorities of others, they usually are not good, and we must alert them to it, and show the dissatisfaction of their actions.
When we visit others, we must respect their time and their concerns, not confusing both their lives and their arrangements.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Your absolutely right. People now only think or care about themselves. It is terrible but very true. Yes they should have told us before then. They should have been more considerate of our time and efforts I agree.
@jillhill (37354)
• United States
5 Aug 12
Totally agree...they should have let you know. I used to buy a bunch of groceries before I got company...but lately I wait until they are here and then I ask them what they want and just buy for two meals. Usually I still throw food away after they are gone as they might eat out more then I planned on....but when I wait to buy the food I throw out much less.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah that is what we did too. Bought a ton of food for them and everything! I don't blame you for waiting until they actually show up. That is what were going to do from now on. This is ridiculous!
Yeah much less will be wasted that way.
@bestboy19 (5478)
• United States
7 Aug 12
They could have done a better job of handling things. At least now you know not to make special arrangements the next time they come for a visit.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
7 Aug 12
Yeah I agree. They should have done things much differently. I will not waste my time like that ever again, definitely a lesson learned...
@janiewhite35 (163)
•
5 Aug 12
yes i do think that is rude and very selfish.
You went out of your way to make them food and clear the room all of which took your time money and energy.
The elast they could have done as you said was to let you know.
Thats rather strange though, i mean to leave thier phones at your house and then come back and say they were going elsewhere!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
It was rude and selfish! Yeah I did a lot all for them to stay here and then they did that to us!! I think that is pretty bad.
Yeah it was just plain rude. They got their phones and said okay we gotta get going to her house! We were like what?
@mariaperalta (19073)
• Mexico
5 Aug 12
My sister used to visit us and do the same. She even came one day at 4pm left to go to store- and returned at 6am the next morning. I cant believe people do things like that. We even had my son give up his bed for her. She didnt even come home or call. Some people. They just dont care.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah it is so rude to behave that way. It's sad with how many people do this to others. It is so inconsiderate.
Yeah they were going to sleep in my sons room too, thank goodness our kids went to their grandmas anyway last night so he wasn't home to have to give up his room.
@Byamee (84)
• India
5 Aug 12
Well that was awfully inconsiderate of your family. They should have told you about their plans in advance, even the fact that they might be staying at your sisters place. You could all have had a reunion of some sort. Well something like this would have made me furious and in the future think twice when they visit again.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
Yes it was. Well it wasn't my sisters place, it was my cousins, their sister. Yeah it would have been nice if they let us know so we didn't go through so much trouble!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
6 Aug 12
Yeah they should have at least called and let us know! It is very rude.
@indahfth (11161)
• Indonesia
5 Aug 12
I have experienced the same thing as you. I feel very annoyed, because it has been treated like that. I have spoken openly to them, if I am very disappointed with them. So they do not do it anymore. Supposedly, they were told in advance, if they do not want us to stay at home.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
I think many people have at one time or another. It did annoy me very much but I thought maybe I was over reacting. Now I know I wasn't.
If they come back I will be talking with them.
@blue65packer (11826)
• United States
5 Aug 12
I agree too! This was very rude! They should of told you of their plans! Instead they let you make food for them and clear a room for them to stay in before they spring this on you! If i was you I would tell them they are not welcome to stay with your family anymore for what they did! That is so uncalled for!
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah, I just wasn't sure because I was tired and due for "that time of the month" so I thought maybe I was over reacting with my emotions again. But then everyone here said it was rude too so it made me realize I was right.
If they come back I am going to tell them. So far they have stayed away, they probably sensed my anger.
@bhabycatch013 (9150)
• Philippines
5 Aug 12
hi LMB,
even me I will feel bad about it at least they must tell you earlier that they have other plans, this happened to me before so I learned I ask my relatives many times if they are really going to stay at our place or not so I will not do an extra effort cooking meals and arranging the place where they are going to stay.
happy mylotting
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah they should have told us before that! Then I would not have gone out of my way for them so much.
We asked them a few times and they told us they were. Then when they got back from their errands they told us something different!
@mrswhitfield (2044)
• Indonesia
5 Aug 12
It's rude... May be they have reason why they changed the plan, but they could find a way to tell you, they can borrow phone to call you.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah they might have had a reason but your right they could have told me, a phone call would have been nice!
@deazil (4730)
• United States
5 Aug 12
What an absolutely rude thing to do to you! That relatives could treat one of their own family in such an obnoxious manner is appalling. I agree with the others here who have said to speak with them about it. Or you could wait until the next time and then remind them of what they did on their previous visit. Deplorable behavior. Shame on them.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah I agree. Very rude indeed. I am so emotional sometimes though I thought it was me over reacting again...
If they come back I will be talking with them about it.
@Raine38 (12250)
• United States
5 Aug 12
That is indeed very rude and very upsetting. I mean 6 hours? I could have done something else than wait for them for nothing. And even if they left their phones in your house, they could have borrowed a phone from anyone there to call you guys and just say word ahead that they have changed their plans. If I were you, I would be having second thoughts in inviting them and letting them stay in my house again.
@LovingMyBabies (85288)
• Valdosta, Georgia
5 Aug 12
Yeah it really ticked me off but I wasn't sure if I was over reacting or not until I started this discussion. Then I realized they really were rude to us.
Yes they could have found a way to call I agree. I am having second thoughts about it. I am not worried if they come back or not, I really don't care at this point...
