Don't take that flying leap!

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I've had a horrible day yesterday. Bill and I decided to cut wood since the day was much cooler than the triple digit temperatures we have been living with the past couple of weeks. We worked for about two hours on the wood; cutting, splitting and stacking firewood for the winter. It was still rather warm and we both were sweating like crazy. We finally finished doing the wood and Bill went home. I noticed that some of the herbs had been pulled up by the local neighborhood deer, so I stepped over the decorative fence to replant it and pick up a couple of pieces of litter that blew into the garden area. I backed up and that's when I took a "flying leap". Fortunately I have taught myself to relax when I am falling rather than tensing up and trying to catch myself. I went sailing through the air; losing my grip on my tea cup (fortunately it was a plastic cup from Starbucks) then I bounced off Abby the pit lab mix that I share my home with, and then came in for a three bounce landing on the hard clay ground. Normally it wouldn't be so bad except that I discovered that my wrist, ankle, and ribs were hurting. I laid on the ground like a massive pile of dog poop, wondering how much of myself broke when a huge black nose started poking my eyes. I opened them to see a huge brown dog peering at me as if to say "Are you okay??? Do I need to do a Lassie for you??? Are you sure you're okay??? Are you EVER getting up off the ground???" I finally groaned and tried to sit up. Bad mistake!!! The pain ripped through my body like a lightening bolt. I very slowly got to my feet and brushed off a ton of dirt. Well at least Abby was happy that I was standing up! I then eased my way towards the house, each step being a new experience in pain. I got inside and got to the couch and sat down to assess my injuries. The wrist was okay, just a bit crabby at being treated like a tennis ball being tossed on the ground. The ankle was fine too, although it was crabby at being bounced off the low fence and then used for a pivot point for all my weight to be aimed at the ground. The only thing that wasn't okay was the ribs. Crap! After getting them checked and x-rayed at the ER, I found out that I has successfully managed to crack three ribs. OH JOY!!! I discovered with cracking three ribs that sneezing is a new kind of pain, along with the pain from something as simple as a fart...it feels like your rib cage, and whole body is going to explode when you try to pass gas. Hic ups are totally out of the questions!!! Don't even go there. It feels like you're trying to turn yourself inside out with each hic! Also standing up and sitting down is difficult at best! All I can say is thank goodness for pain pills!!! How has your weekend been going??? I've been told to take a flying leap, and they aren't that great...so don't take anyone up on their statements. Keep your feet firmly on the floor and watch out for low lying fences. Also, if you crack the ribs that are just at the arm pit area you will need to use a arasol deodorant as trying to apply roll on is a literal PAIN!