Why Do I Always Have to Give Way?

If only I am there near you I will smack your head! Not too hard, my dear, just strong enough to wake you up. I know you guys have to stick together given the situation, but you also have the same authority or say as much as they do. And even if they all have strong personalities, they should be considerate enough to even ask you what you want, what you think, or what your suggestions are. I know it is difficult for you, but next time, try to be a bit more assertive. Just give it a try for a change. Who knows, right?

It is very dangerous to your pysche and your soul to always give way. Its a problem that will keep you up at night. You need to find people to be around that will appreciate you and tolerate you before you have problems.

ou have more confidence and self esteem. Sacrifice for the sake of the group was good, but there are limits.

Hi Aries. I think your problem is within yourself. Your timidness holds you back. I don't know how to 'fix' that. I think you have to learn to speak up for what you want. Make an argument when you feel you won't be heard. Make people listen to you. It will be good practice. I was always the follower and never the leader. I never felt I had a voice. I did. I just didn't use it out of fear. Hope I helped.

well this will make to suffer from inside, I have been through the same situations and I was tired of thinking of others convenience, I had very low self esteem that time and I thought others were always right and I was wrong. what others do was like right. No I sulking and fretting about it inside. I wanted to change but I thought that others will think I want to fancy and I am changed. But I had to take this step and I had to fight for my convenience. I wanted to feel free inside. It is not wrong. Please change your attitude now and tell your mates straight if your are not comfortable with it. Never mind there is an argument but you will be at peace inside. I hope you will change. have a wonderful day.

Well its always hard to adjust to new places. I have been transferred around a lot of places, imean because of my dad and i know how it feels to not belong. But you need to have your voice heard, if you have too much of a problem then move out, you can pay someone else and have a new group. If this group is not making you feel comfortable then its time to move on. Don't let others bring you down.

You have more confidence and self esteem. Sacrifice for the sake of the group was good, but there are limits.

I think that there are times that people would rather give way when it comes to any kind of possible confrontations. However, I also feel like these people that tend to be more passive like this do reach a point in their lives when they would like to have their opinion heard. What makes this difficult is the fact that once a person has been walked over so many times, it is nearly impossible for a person to show that they really do have an opinion of their own.

I didn't know how to react when I read your post. I'm actually one of those people with strong personalities. And true, has the tendency to overlook on some guys who don't say much. But I wouldn't go to the extent of making other people's life miserable, like how you sound yourself in your discussion. Then this striking question inside me, "How do you know that?" I mean, how does one know he or she is already causing pain to another person? Before when I was in high school, coming from a poor family, being the smallest in class and a transferee at the same time, to a school where almost everyone has a rich family, I had the same experience as you're experiencing right now. My parents paid the same tuition fees for me as my classmates but I felt I was always receiving the least type of treatment a student would want. I graduated with so much pain inside my heart that I'd spent four long years of my life in sadness.:( When I reached college, I became the opposite of what I was in high school. I became kinda' popular and my teachers and classmates liked me well. It was the greatest time of my life and up to this time, I still feel good about how others treat me. When I look back, there was only this tiny difference- FEAR, the fear of rejection. That strange thought of thinking you'd say the wrong words, or do the wrong things, that may cause you to loose everything- your friends, your family, your dreams. This causes you to just "go with the flow" or in other words, do as they say even though you don't want to (and who knows if they're even aware of it when you don't say a word about it). So speak up! Tell them what you like and what you don't like so they'll not take you for granted. You can't always say everyone's too pushy for you, you'll have to stand up for yourself one way or the other. Don't wait too long and suffer a sad life. You'll start to enjoy life when you learn to stand up for who you are and what you want. Go kid! Speak up! Tell them what you like and what you don't like When you learn to overcome the fear of rejection inside you, then you will be able to show your real self- one that everyone around you might actually like better.

Sometimes, I am like you, keeping silent in the corner go with the flow, but if I sense that they were taking me for granted, as if I am just nothing, sometimes, we (who always love to give way to others/ for the sake of others etc!) should learn how to stand up! and be heard also! If it is too much, have no fear, tell what's inside you and what's your suggestions, if you'll pretend everything's okay while it is not, they will abuse you and your right. So, express what you want next time. ! :)

I guess what you are feeling right now is an effect of past actions wherein you always allow them to take charge of everything or deciding on your behalf. I can't blame you for doing that. You probably think that since you are in a group and you have to say yes to everything and accept what the majority say until you get to the point, which you are experiencing right now, that you don't exactly like what is happening anymore. It would be hard to break that now because they will just say why did you allow it in the first place. But it wouldn't be right as well if you will just stay in one corner and just nod to everything they say. I guess what you can do right now is talk to one person in your group you feel most confident that will understand your sentiments and from there, lay out your cards to them. Remember that crooked things can be straightened up by simply talking. Good luck.