around with your ex-boyfriend of girlfriend w/ someone new; how would you feel?
By missjahn
@missjahn (4574)
Philippines
August 10, 2012 12:26am CST
i experienced this a couple of times. even i am denying that i do not love the boy, still his and his new girlfriend lingers into my senses which gives unease emotion; mixed one. but i cannot figure it out what kind of feeling it should be - if it is jealousy or because of the thought that somehow you have companionship to be called or else insecurity is eating you. i cannot avoid to feel that way. there is a little feeling of pinch inside me, it is somehow hurt me. why, is it my pride or do i love him still? but i guess both. because if do not love the boy totally, why get hurt. but i do not believe the feeling so intense, so i should reasoned that pride stroke me most.
i should understand and be happy for seeing him happy. i know it takes time to adjust knowing he is with someone else but i am certain that i can accept the fact and able to face him while looking at his face directly and feels nothing at all but pure friendship and concern.
1 person likes this
9 responses
@thanks1961 (7035)
• India
10 Aug 12
I am quite unfortunate to have such a time around me. You can guess what could be the reason also. Any way, there are a lots of luck people around to enjoy the moments and sometime may get envious also depend on the person you are with...
1 person likes this
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
being envious is not a good virtue but sometimes mixed emotions will just suddenly be felt whenever in a situation like what to what i am stating in my discussion. but it should not be felt forever and that striving harder to overcome this kind of odd feeling. even when we say that there are lots of people to enjoy the company with but if you are totally in love then get broken because of break - ups, you can still enjoy but deep inside you cannot avoid to get hurt. well, that is the truth unless the feeling is not too strong that you can recover easily. i believed that if you do not love the person, and being in the midst of the situation like meeting him accidentally and then get hurt, it is not your heart being hurt but it is your pride and the most.
thanks :)
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
17 Oct 12
I know how you feel. I once attended a high school get together about 3 years ago. My ex boyfriend who happens to be a real dear friend to me back then came with his wife. They look good together. He even introduced me to her. I think I felt a tinge of jealousy, not that I still have feeling with my ex, but maybe because the last time we saw each other, even if we were no longer in a relationship, he still told me that he loves me and that I will be someone special to him forever.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
22 Oct 12
hmmm.. such crap that we still wanted to make ourselves believe so that the person is still in love with us. we like the feelings as we hear them saying it. well, one way not to get hurt. but that words will soon disappear because we knew in time, they will come and forget us and find their happiness with others hand. well, that is true. but, we will just understand that there are really persons who are hard to forget and to give up yet, it is needed as it have been required so in forgetting or else, end a life in misery and lonesomeness. :0) thanks for joining :)
@rogue13xmen13 (14402)
• United States
11 Aug 12
Well, that all depends on how our relationship ended. If it was a mutual break up, then I would be happy that they are moving on and that they found someone new. If I was the one who broke up with him, then same rules apply, I would be happy that he is moving on.
If he broke up with me, and I really loved him, and then I saw him with someone new, then I might not be too happy, and I would want to leave.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
true...
i am the one who initiated break-ups with my ex-bfs. but there was one that i really need to stop the relationship because it is not healthy anymore. of course was hurt at first but as knew that he was involved with another girl, no hurt feelings at all. and that i am glad genuinely that at last he really moved on and found his another match. at least he mended his broken heart that hit my conscience terribly. i am glad about of his moving on totally.
@alberello (4752)
• Italy
10 Aug 12
Well, you know, for me it is not easy to answer such a thread, because (as I have already written in my other discussions), I personally have never been involved in a romantic relationship.
Can I still assume that I understand how you feel to see your "ex", maybe hugging another girl. This could also not exclude the fact that, deep down, maybe subconsciously you're trying still something for him.
However, in my opinion, as to me was always told, with the passing of time everything works out.
Then, after all (try to understand), if you have left, there must be a reason!
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
correctly said there. but still longing for him, well, depends on what you really felt about the guy. somehow facing the situation boldly will bring you to a success that you need to face the situation and then accepting the fact that he is not in another's side. and you are right, time will heal you.
@bm1b4by (82)
•
10 Aug 12
I've been in this situation. My last ex is now engaged and they're friends with a lot of my friends so I see them about together quite a bit. It was quite hard at first, I kept wondering if I still liked him, though I was the one who ended it. The hardest thing was I LIKED his new girlfriend, hating her would have made it a bit easier I feel. Anyway, I realized I was feeling this way not because I was jealous of them, but because he's managed to find someone and I hadn't. You never really want your ex to move on before you do.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
why is that we want to see in their face that still longing for us - vulnerable question eh? but maybe that is because of pride or kindly correct me if you do not feel the same way like i do. but i have an ex. seeing them both is an eyesore and a pinch that gave a little pain. they are already a couple now. but recovered myself not to felt some ways like i used to felt. they deserved to be happy. afterall, its all been my fault or to point it out, i do not love the guy so much that is why setting him free for that for he needs someone's affection he deserves to have. so that is what going on between us. thanks :)
@itsmechelle (114)
•
10 Aug 12
I don't think I've been in that exact situation like yours, but I am sure that we are feeling exactly the same way. Mine was.. I saw them together twice since we broke up. The first time I saw them, it was fine because I was with my friend. But when I saw them together the second time and I was all alone, it was such a horrible feeling. I don't think it was due to insecurity. It was more of jealousy and that thought the you used to be with that person before but you are now seeing him with someone else. It hurts, indeed. Too painful to bear and I don't think I could ever manage to be around with them even for just a minute. I'm also happy for him being so happy with someone else, but pain is such an inevitable thing. I know that all I want is for him to be happy.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
not really nice feeling. how many times feeling awkward when being around with those people. but i guess the feeling remains from first to fifth meeting before i can handle it normally even i do not love the guy so much. i guess because that guy woo me for longer of time then suddenly when we broke up he already find his match. i should be happy for him and not feeling sorry for moving and recovering. but now, i am okay. we are still friends and not affected already.
thanks
@skyandgrassplot (1497)
• China
10 Aug 12
I think,the reason why you have this feeling,in a certain extent is because of your pride.I have a question to ask you,if you your ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend is ugly than you,and what do you think?If you feel happy about this you think your are better than that girl so this is a lost of your ex-boyfriend,if you feel a little angry about this you may think your ex-boyfriend do not derserve you,buy actually both of those feeling is not good and because your pride,and if you feel OK about this,then you have over your ex-boyfriend and move on.
Time will eliminate everything,you will feel OK sooner or later.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
you are right there. it is kinda mean but we cannot avoid to figure out by seeing or observing the newly one of your ex if having a good appearance. it does matter for a reason. it is explainable of course but better not say it.
thanks mate, i am so much okay. it occurred during the first few times upon meeting but as time is rolling, i am used to it and unaffected at all. he should be happy afterall for everyone deserves to be happy :)
@Raine38 (12391)
• United States
10 Aug 12
This didn't happen to me, because I made sure to stay away from our common place and hang out and anywhere that's near him. I just have to do it for myself, to make sure that I wouldn't be hurt not because I still love him, but because I can't seem to accept that he has moved on and I'm still single. Back then, that is. So after I am sure that I am no longer vulnerable to whatever I see of him, only then did I let myself relax in going to places to we used to frequent, even live in a town just a couple of miles from him.
@missjahn (4574)
• Philippines
12 Aug 12
that helps raine but the event is simply accidental. i cannot move to another town or place just to evade the man. oh well, why should i hide from them. it hurts of course, but need to be brave for sooner or later i must accept the mere fact that i cannot turn the things back around to held each one of us together again. it is not easy at first but when get used with it, you can feel the presence but the feeling of any kind cannot be felt within you. thanks
