Partners who Change After Marriage..

My Husband and I have been married for 16 years. Aproaching the 17th wedding anniversary at the end of the year. There is no denial of people changing. Some for the good but most for the bad which ends up in divorce. My husband has changed. Not really for the worse but is it on the slightly worse. Instead of working together on finances to get out of debt, he continued on keeping in debt by getting new debts or opting out of phone contracts. He has also become lazy, even more so in the last 5 to 6 years. I have been trying to get him to pick up after himself but he doesn't. Now as he has been doing it, so are the kids which it makes it very difficult for me as I have to clean up after them. My older child is better as the mess is only in the bedroom, but my older child will not help me with other house hold chorse like cooking or washing the dishes. My younger child just behaves like father. I clean a table and by the end of the night, it is a mess again so I am cleaning it again. I am finding difficult to keeping the house cleaned to the way I would like it. As for me, yes I have changed too with the added pressure on me to attempt to clean this house. I have closed off to my husband just a bit in the intimacy side of things. We are struggling to get through but personally I am not sure if I could survive if it keeps going the way it is. But as I like my marriage to succeed, I always talk to my family about attempting to improve our lives so that I am not as grumpy towards them. The only difference really from the defacto and marriage is the security of that paper. And for those that read this and plan to get married, never loose focus on impressing your partner. Make an effort to fall in love with your partner every day. Marriage is not easy. If anything, I believe it is harder to maintain a relationship. that is my opinion

I really didn't notice anything different in my spouse and I, except for wider waists. HOwerver, I have seen two incidents where living together changed a person. When one brother got married my new sister in law got pregnant right away. This was not the future she had planned, she joined the navy fresh out of highschool and married just before leaving for boot camp. She never has been the sweet little girl he meant since. she also has always seemed to keep herself distant from his faily even when with us. The are divorced now. Second is my other brother. a sweet much younger girl is who he met and she was all over him. At first he resisted because of the age difference. She would clean his apartment and cook for him and dress nice when around him. NOw that they are living together and have a child she is lazy and won't do anything without being begged too. He said it's like living with a complete stranger. So sometimes the getting married is not what changes a person.

I think you answered your own question. You have been 'married' 8 years, whether you have a piece of paper or not. You now know your partner - warts an' all! haha The change occurs when people get married before they live together. They then find that the person they dated may change in the morning or in the bathroom or around the house on a day to day basis. People often 'change' then, though it is not really 'change' but in fact seeing people for what they really are. It may not be pleasent!

Hi Jshean Personally, no. Neither of us has changed over the last 5 years we have been married. And there is no need to change. Yes, there are some adjustments that you have to make but then, you can make adjustments with almost everything and everyone you interact with so these minor adjustments should not be counted. let me also share with you the fact that we(me and my wife) are quite opposite people. friends and family believed that our marriage would never last for more than a few months as we both are aggressive, arrogant and blunt. But the fact is that we have lived shared the past 5 years happily and we have not major problematic issues anytime. Reason - we are interested to be together and willing to go anywhere to be together. Doesnt this happen with everything you do? You do it as long as you want to... and there is happiness all around

I did not notice changes but new discoveries. Since we are now living in one roof, we are now aware of each other's habits which some are really unexpected. To adapt to this new revelations, couples need to adjust with each other and I think that this is what they call as changes. For example, when we are not yet married, I would always buy him a whole fried chicken because it is his all time favorite. I call him every hour to check on him. But after we got married, I no longer do those things not because I changed but I can no longer afford to do it. But if only I have enough budget for those, I would still do them. I guess that every relationships need adjustments.

Hmmmm what is your thought you want to also change the partner dont try it ahha..... Friend I not trust on it but if your first partner wants to divorce from you and you are also ready for it then you can choose other partner. Yes you are right after marriage both are changed wife or husband before marriage they shows they love each other and after marriage they not do it. Only some exceptional couple are not changed.

hi, I heard this many times, but i wonder how could it happen, because mostly people live together before going to marital relationship, so my question is , what happens suddenly , and why they change only after marriage and why not while living together.? I India its completely different , as mostly people here go for arranged marriages, so we cant say whether ,they changed after marriage or not, but i have seen /seeing people who are living together even after 50yeras of marriage, although they met each other only after marriage.

I noticed that my husband became more responsible, caring and sweet after we get married. When we on the dating stage or in a relationship my husband is a very shy person and quiet most of the time but when we get married I found out that he is very lovable and talkative like me. Also my husband work very hard to support our personal and daily needs. I think the big impact in our relationship after marriage we both learned how to love, understand and care more each other and made sure to enjoy our life together everyday.

Hi friend, good to know that you are interested in love marriage, my marriage is an arranged one and i am living happily with my wife. In my opinion parents always care about their kids and select the best for them, if our parent select a life partner for us, we must take our own time to understand about them fully and go for marriage after understanding, my marriage happened in this sort, we understand about each other before our marriage

Partners never change after marriage. Before marriage because of love we can't able to find their full character. that is the problem. That's because all are saying love is blind. Mistakes are hidden in love.