Do you try to change others?

I agree that it is a waste of time to try to change someone if they do not want to change. However, I also agree that if you care about a person and see him or her doing something that is or could be harmful, then it would be normal and natural to try to stop him or her from doing it. Yes, it is trying to change a certain aspect or behavior of the person, but it is done out of caring, and I think that not doing it, especially if you know that what they are doing could be very harmful to him or her, would be worse than trying to help.

Hi himzey, I like purplealabaster's comment here.If we love someone and see them doing something that we know will get them into trouble, we can show them that we love and care about them, but we do not continue to nag them. The best way would be to live in such a way that the person will know that you will always be there for them, no matter what happens. Thank you for your response. Blessings.,

Hi fatlex, It depends on many things but the most that we can ever do is help them change themselves. None of us are perfect, the best thing we can do is work on improving ourselves. We change more people by example than we do by what we say. Blessings.

Thank you for taking the time to response to this discussion. Blessings.

Hi adforme, Thank you for coming here and sharing your thoughts. We should always look for the good in others and the harder we look, the more good we will find. Of course, we could also find things to disapprove of too, but I try to remember that it is the same with me. People are not going to approve of everything about me either. The best that we can do is to work on ourselves and teach by example. Blessings.

I agree. We come to accept more about a person the closer we choose to get to them. How much we choose to accept is dependent on the person and who we are. Blessings to you as well.

Hi maygodblessu, I totally agree with you! We are always changing but it is ourselves that we must change, not another. It is of course, the parents responsibility to teach the child to obey the law, to respect the rights and opinions of others, to show love and compassion and so forth, but when the child becomes an adult he/she may not agree with everything the parent says or does, and that is their right. We are changed by our experiences, but no one person has the right to tell another that I'm right and you're wrong and you must change. We can never change another, only influence their thoughts. The final decision is theirs. Thank you for sharing your views. Blessings.

Hello my friend Pose123 Ji, Well, I think time has totally changed, so this concept has emerged. Even, after becoming adult some change names , religions etc. I totally deny. There are certain tyhings, which can not be changed. One has to agree, absolutely no denial. I also understand, when someone agrees , it is too late to realize. May God bless You and have a great time

Hi canellita, Thank you for responding and we agree. Blessings.

To you also!

Hi vidhyaprakash, Thank you for responding. Blessings.

Hi sarahruthbeth, The only person that we should try to change is ourselves and if we are honest, we will agree that there is plenty there for one lifetime. Thank you for your response. Blessings.

Hi teamrose, Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this discussion and while it's true that we can offer advice, we cannot change the person. They must do that for themselves. I think too that we have to be very careful about trying to change another, as often it may be us who need to change. I don't know what you mean by a downward spiral, but it may be something that the person has to experience to gain understanding. Naturally, there are things that we should try to stop a friend from doing, such as driving after he/she has been drinking, as another responder mentioned. Remember what you call flying right is your opinion and may not be anothers. Our job is to work on ourselves so that we will be the best spouse,the best parent, the best friend that we can possibly be if we want to influence others. Unless the person is breaking the law or hurting another, we have no right to judge them as wrong. Love is the best teacher. Blessings.

Hi purplealabaster, The example you give is an excellent one and I think everyone here would agree that it would be best to change his or her mind at the time. However, even at such times, our success often depends on how we go about it. I know a man who will sometimes drink and drive and both his wife and mother constantly nag him about it and warn him of the consequences. The fact is he already knows that what they are saying is true, but he has now turned a deaf ear to them. The best that most of us can do is work on changing ourselves, so that we become more loving, compassionate and understanding. Blessings.

Hi starsailover, Thank you for responding and eventually we all reach the same conclusion, trying to change another, to make them over into someone like us, is a mistake. We are all unique individuals and should be proud to be who we are. Naturally, I'm not talking about things like talking a friend out of driving after he/she has been drinking, that would just be the right thing to do. Trying to get another to attend church for example, when they have no interest, may not even believe in God, is something else that is very wrong. We are just trying to force our opinions on them. I think that we should all stick to changing ourselves, who is the one person we can really change anyway - and that I've found to be the work of a lifetime. Blessings.

Hi abitosunshine Thank you for responding and clearly you have the right idea. Blessings.

Hi pointlessQuestions, I hope that you are keeping well and thank you for responding to my discussion. I think we all have plenty of work changing ourselves and indeed if there is a way to influence others that would be it. Blessings.

Hi Cricket, You are absolutely right. Thank you for responding. Blessings.

Hi Pegasus, Thank you for responding. Just remember that you may have given him a puch but it was he who quit smoking. Blessings.

Hi jillhill, Thank you for a great response and of course we agree. Blessings.

Hi siverfox, Thank you for sharing but it was you who made the changes to yourself. I think it's great that you feel you have changed for the better and both your friend and your fiance obviously knew how to help you make that change. I am willing to bet that he did not nag you or argue with you every day because that would have had the opposite effect. Blessings.

Hi MandaLee, You are right, trying to change another is both hurtful and judgemental. I always try to remember that they may not approve of how I live my life either, but I wouldn't want them to try to change me. Thank you for your response. Blessings.

Hi chikahdorah, Trying to change another will only cause problems whether we are talking about a spouse or a friend. The best that any of us can do is work on the changes that we need to make in our own lives. As you say accept the other for who they are and show respect if we want to receive respect. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. Blessings.

Hi sjvg, That is usually what happens when we try to change our friends. We must remember that we would not appreciate others trying to change us, yet we must all admit that we are not perfect. Our friends will change over time and though it may shock some people to hear it, we will all change as well. Thank you for your comments. Blessings.