You can call me a lot of things

I'm like you I don't not like being called a b!tch. I know I can be one when mad but I don't like to be called one at all. I'm most certainly don't like it when some tries or does hit me it won't end well. I'm a tough girl and will not take either one. I rather a verbal fight then a physical one. Words hurt just as much at times. I don't like to call other women that. I have friends that will joke around with it in just talking in circles not calling anyone they know or themselves or me that name there is a way to use it with out being insulting or offensive. I know my sister-in-law called me that all over the baby's middle name being the same as her son's middle name. I think you remember that discussion but yeah she texted me that I was a b!tch and I told her that was uncalled for and she wasn't being an adult but a child. What she was doing was b!tchy in my book.

When one knows for sure there is love lurking in the corner no matter what, then one need not take things seriously. Also it depends on what provoked that reaction. I for one would immediately size up the situation and diffuse it as far as possible. But at the same time I do get hurt no matter what word is used.Fortunately it has always ended up with a cup of tea while I am busy sobbing,with the words, "After the storm, comes the calm, after the calm comes the sunshine'

B&tch, wh-re, c*nt and a few others. Don't call me any of those. Actually, bYAtch is the least offensive of the three to me. But worse than physical abuse? More damaging maybe idk.

I have to disagree. I think even when someone is drunk they should know enough not to cross certain lines. As for words.. I think they only hurt based on the person they come from. A stranger can call me anything they want and it won't hurt. If someone close to me called me any sort of bad name it would hurt terribly. I am so lucky that my husband has never called me any sort of bad name, even at his maddest or drunkest. He's very cautious not to say or do something he can't take back.

What truly concerns me with this discussion is the fact that he slapped you. Also the fact that you seemed to accept this expression of his rage over that fact that he called you a name. Hubby and I have had some big fights over the years but never had he hit me or even grabbed hold of me in anger. I have observed to many abuse cases to ever allow anyone to hit me. It is common that this activity starts just as you described and is forgiven because the offender not being themselves at the time of the physical contact. I beg you please take this very seriously and if possible get some outside help in this matter. I know that your husband has been under great stress lately, but there is never an excuse for physical violence within the marriage.

poor dorannmwin, sorry for my late answer but I wasnt so up to par and have a huge backlog of mails and notifications now. I am shocked. No matter whether he was a little drunk or not, after what you did for him thats no way to show gratitude. After all you went begging for cash to help with the medical expenses, you shouldered the load and now he is doing THAT as a thank you???????? Not only calling you names but then slapping you when you say he should never do that to you again????????? You must be an angel to cope with this. I think right after being slapped I would have packed a suitcase and left. For me personally the thing which drives me up the walls is my husband talking about divorce only cause he doesnt want to deal with his own shortcomings and with the fact that he is not the only person in the world who needs help or care or whatever. I am a strong woman, just like you but even I do need some TLC along the way here and there. Last time he had this burr up his bottom with the D word I first didnt say a word and later got back to the subject and said, you know that following our marriage contract I am the one to move out so if you really want this you got more time on your hands. Please look for a two room apartment for me, you know what I want, no carpeted floors but a balcony and enough space for two kitties keeping me company. I was very laid back about this subject this time and didnt start begging him not to say these things, that was totally new to him. And I told him to cancel that bed and breakfast he had booked for one week now in August as I am not going on vacations with someone who tries to oppress me with that D thing as much as he does, and by the way would he please be so kind to take his vacations this year when I work so his wont interfere with mine. Works perfect......

To be honest, being called a b--ch doesn't really bother me if it's said during a fight, I do turn into one when I fight anyways so it's not really far from the truth. If someone calls me that without really knowing me very well or when it's not deserved, then that's a different story.

With age comes something of a miracle....I have patience beyond belief...not much really rattles me and certain someone calling me a name wouldn't get me excited. However I can come up with a few myself that might bother someone...I just don't get into a situation like that. I am so passive!

i dont care how much they have drank. if he cant hold his liquor he shouldnt drink. after all you have been through with him and all you have done. he has no right to hit you and if he done it once he will do it again!! believe me. i was married 5 times and the 3 that hit me eventually got left because they always do it again. it depends on who calls me a bi#ch and why. sometimes its joking around here but if they are mad and meaning it, if my son hears, look out. he will throw their butt out of the house.

It is just not right to call your own wife a "b*tch", no matter how angry he is. I refuse to use that word on my wife, no one can make me use that on her, i think it is a lousy and degrading term for a woman especially to one own wife. He has gone overboard and crossed the line of verbally abusing you. Shame on him !

You have put me on the spot. I cannot pinpoint a word right now but I can pinpoint an action. I would like know that my word is not seen as a bond. I do not lie and I would like to be trusted. If my husband or my sister disbelieve me I feel badly about it and react negatively. I am not violent so I do react in that way. I understand how you feel and I am glad that your husband will never hit you again even when drunk. Never let this be repeated. It is a pity that you did realize that he was drunk so that you would not have followed up on the argument. Anyway, this is part of the learning curve.

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh!! My husband only called me that once - and only once - and that was early in our relationship (so we're talking when we were 18!!). His last girlfriend was rather young - and they always got into major fights - and I guess there were name callings in that relationship. Well, we had a talk - and I was really hurt by it (this is something NO ONE has ever called me to my face) and since then he has never called me that. I've only had one friend who'd call me that - but sort of casually, if there is such a thing. We were in junior high / middle school . . . and as we were Valley Girls - using the b word was such the "in" thing. "You are such a b!". I really didn't like it - but I've never gotten off on her about it. Oh, and I can think of times when people would say "Don't be such a b" kinda thing - but again, it would be in jest - so I didn't think much of it. I'm trying to think on this one. For me personally, it doesn't take bad name calling to me feel down - I rarely hear that. But if someone says something negative about me to my face period, it's enough to get me down (rather than get violent about it). My dad was always negative that way - I suppose one could call it verbal abuse - and it was so bad that when anyone else said something negative, it wasn't as bad as my dad's words. Anyhow, glad you guys made up in the end!!!

I am so sorry that happened to you. Maybe you can talk to him, in a calm peaceful moment and let it know that it is inappropriate behavior. Think about what this is teaching your children. Good luck.

Hi dorannmwin, Honey let me tell you if that only happened two times in ten years then consider yourself lucky. I spent six years in an abusive relationship where everyday I was called something ugly. And yes words do hurt sometimes especially when someone you love says them to you. For a while the ugly words would hurt me and I would cry and say things I did not mean but after a while of the verbal abuse I just learn to look over them. I may have been a Bi!ch at times but he only made me that way. And no it is not as bad as physical abuse because I have experienced that too and I would rather be called a bi!ch any day than be hit and kicked or slung against a wall or out door. Calling someone ugly words like that just says that they are imature and inscure about themselves. I have also dealt with a drunk man and he always says things that are hurtful but the next morning he is usually sorry and says he didn't mean them and in your case that maybe the case but it mine he was just cure and hateful all the time. Good Luck and consider yourself lucky. God bless

If my husband will call me that way too, I am pretty sure that I'll be also hurt. He doesn't have any right to call me that. He can use any endearment such as honey, hon, darling, sweetheart, etc. but not negative ones. I agree with you, that's a verbal abuse. We shouldn't let our husbands abuse us in any way. I'm glad you already made up. I hope he will not call you that way again the next time he got drunk. Happy myLotting!

To verbally or physically abuse other people is not a civil thing to do under any circumstances. If it is something that a person does all the time, it just shows the kind of person he/she is - probably someone whom you and I do not wish to know or be with in a company. I strongly believe that we should not treat others ways what we ourselves do not want to be treated.

That word really hurts. I don't like that word, and I don't even like any bad language. If someone dares to say it to me , I won't forgive him or her, especially my husband.