You have to give up things to be an adult
By 911Ricki
@911Ricki (13588)
Canada
August 20, 2012 10:25am CST
My brother and his girlfriend live in another world. They are 18 neither work, and have no goals. They say we have each other, and thats all that counts.
I was sitting eating breakfast laughing in my head at how stupid both sound. They are young and stupid wait a few months even years big smack in the head will come.
They wont have all day to spend together, they will have to actually work, pay bills, and have their own goals to make it through life. My brother got a job for what a day and couldnt hold it down. Wait until September when he goes to college, and wont have any time for her.
She was telling me how shes going to buy a house with my brother, I asked how when she doesnt work, nor can hold down a job, and neither can my brother. She doesnt have high school, and my brother just skimmed by with it. Neither have any work ethics, or goals.
I just sat there staring at her, as I wasnt going to ask how she plans on this because shes just that clueless to the world right now. I didnt even btoehr bringing up that, I highly doubt in 6 months even 6 years they will be together.
They are still young, and with time and age they will grow up and grow apart. I know the guys I dated when I was there age, Im clearly not with them, and wouldnt want to be. They already argue and fight, especially when my brother gets a job, or an interview he gives it all up for her (he will regret it eventually), and Im sure he will give up school for her too.
3 people like this
13 responses
@wilsongoddard (7291)
• United States
20 Aug 12
Based on what you have said before, it sounds like your brother likely is expecting that your parents will continue to support him indefinitely... and they likely will.
When I was that age, I expected that I would have a good job after finishing my formal education. No one bothered to explain to me just how far in debt my education was going to put me or that finding a good-paying job with the education with which I ended up would be virtually impossible.
I actually thought that, by this age, I would be a homeowner (well, paying on a mortgage) and almost finished with my student loans. Instead, since I am an American, I have a crippling load of student loan debt.
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
20 Aug 12
That is what I was thinking, they will likely continue to help her brother, but even so once they are unable to help, or once they pass he will be lost in this world, with nothing to show for it.
1 person likes this
@toniganzon (72281)
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
Young and in love. They are very idealistic and as soon as reality sinks in, they will hate each other.
1 person likes this
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
21 Aug 12
They are lying to themselves. Give them a few months, or a few years, and they will begin to get with the program.
My boyfriend and I kind of thought that at first, that we could just get by with little, but we grew up fast. We had goals and dreams, we were both going to school, and we each had talents and had worked before, and we can hold down jobs, but we realized that temp jobs are never enough, and if you don't make more than $1500 a month, then you can't even make rent for most places (there are still some places where rent is $500 to $1000, but you need other people to live with and you need to know how to budget really well).
I am 27, my boyfriend and I both have jobs, I have a BA in English Literature and Language and I am currently working on my MA, my boyfriend and I have been together for 4 years, but we have had a heck of a lot of ups and downs.
They are 18, they will find out sooner or later just how much they will really need to take care of each other, or themselves, and they will realize that they will start developing goals or want more than what they have, and they won't feel satisfied. Let them find out, and let them find out the hard way.
@mommyboo (13174)
• United States
21 Aug 12
If I understand this right, they are living with your parents, or her parents? Someone ELSE other than them are being responsible for the two of them, correct? Is that what they want?
As far as having time for each other, trust me, people make time for each other if a relationship matters. That in itself has nothing to do with their lack of work ethic or how stupid they sound either. If they matter to each other, I am sure they will find ways to spend more time together than seems feasible to you or me. There really is nothing you can say to them either, at 18, they still don't see the big picture and I am convinced now that young adults that age are UNABLE to. It's like a physiological thing, the pathways in the brain that we use all the time are just not there yet, so that's why when you have a 17 or 18 year old, you talk and explain till you are BLUE and it makes no sense or goes right over their head. They don't get it because they just CAN'T yet. It's not your fault lol.
1 person likes this
@natliegleb (5175)
• India
20 Aug 12
I experienced it personally from my end,if i was stubborn,people around me said i was being childish.when i did the giving up attitude and was friendly.they said you have matured and become a adult.that is quite strange since we also have desire for some things
@Rasniki09 (183)
•
20 Aug 12
well like you say, they are young and i hope eventually they will come to their senses. Go to night school, get a GED and get a job. Some people take a little bit longer to become an Adult.
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163776)
• Garden Grove, California
20 Aug 12
hi ricki I do get the distinct impression that younger brother
is still depending on his parents to pay his way through getting
a house.,Cannot they see he needs to be taught the work ethic
and to do for him self.He needs to pay his way like you had
to as he is getting off too cheaply.His girl probably will not wat around either. too bad he has not learned the work ethic that you had learned years before hi ricki I think your brother is spoiled and never had to learn the work ethic you learned. his parents have spoiled him rotten. 
s
s 
@SomeCowgirl (32191)
• United States
20 Aug 12
Boys are always slower to mature then females. I know people a lot older then I am that may be mature in some ways but are a down right school boy in others, and it's ridiculous.
That being said, he does need to grow up and try to hold down a job. Even with going to college he can find something he can do part time, even if it's just on the weekends.
I hope he doesn't end up regretting the time he spends with his gf but if he doesn't step back, give himself some breathing room and such, he may end up losing all for her, and then losing her, when, like you said, they tire of each other.
1 person likes this
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
22 Aug 12
It is really sad to think that your brother would give up school so that he can be with a girl. Just like you, I'm not with the people that I dated when I was that age. Now, I will say that I am still friends with him, but we were two people from two different worlds.
I would never have given up the dreams that I had for my life because of what he wanted and I always think that it is really sad when there is someone that will give up their dreams for a boyfriend/girlfriend.
@apoljuice1 (730)
• Philippines
21 Aug 12
The girl obviously doesn't know what she's talking about. Yeah, you don't have to stress yourself about it. They will find out for sure, on their own. I'm working now, and have been for the last 7 years. Not as long compared to others. But in the 7 years that I have worked, it was never easy, and believe it or not, I have not saved one penny. Sure I was able to buy stuff, but everything goes to the bills, to the rent, to daily needs. Sometimes I can't even imagine how other people are able to hold down two jobs when I'm only working one and I'm having trouble trying to make ends meet. Both my husband and I work full time jobs, but sometimes it's not enough especially if there are unnecessary expenses in between. But knowing this, we're still learning.
I can imagine what a slap in the face it might be for the girl when she finds herself out on the street with no money for even food or a decent bath. Unless she's being handed down stuff, but it doesn't seem like that way either. Oh well. It would be interesting to see how this turns out.
