what other people think...such an important part of our lives
By alina
@swissheart (6482)
Romania
August 22, 2012 9:05am CST
some people simply live for what other people think. they dress in a certain way because they like to be considered fashionable, they buy certain gadgets because it's trendy to appear in front of others using them ( take iphone for example which I don't consider it a good phone..there are others much better and less expensive), they live for other people's expectations and they care too much what other think of them
well...I decided to make it stop. I used to do this too. I used to make efforts in order to integrate into a certain group of people to realise that they were extremly superficial and the examples coud go on.
I was talking to a friend of mine and she was scared of what other people might think of her boyfriend. and I told her what the he** you're the one living with him not them...and if you like him the way he is than this should be enough
3 people like this
11 responses
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Aug 12
It is really hard to live for other people's expectations. It is like setting aside your own self and live other person's life. It is more like living a lie to me. I do not know if that really makes someone happy. I am not someone who would exert effort to be accepted by others. I wear and eat what I like. I don't follow the trends and I do not want to be considered as fashionable. I also do not push myself to people who won't accept me for who I am.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
23 Aug 12
totally agree.whoever likes you likes you the way you are not beacuse you wear a certain thing. I remember I had a colleague in highschool that wouldn't talk to you if you didn't wear branded clothes
@Paper_Doll (2373)
• Philippines
23 Aug 12
I think that this colleague of yours has some personal issues. There are people who really are brand conscious, they only wears branded clothes and accessories but don't require their friends to be like them. If they are your friends, they can comment about your style and looks but they don't have the right to manipulate you. You are their friends and not a puppet who would follow to what they say. You have your own style and only you know if you are comfortable with your looks or not.
@majuuyaitai22 (93)
• Philippines
23 Aug 12
I agree with you. Aside from that it is her boyfriend, she loves him. Why would she think of other people when she has to focus more on her boyfriend. Aside from that, people doesn't really care about their relationship, if they did not make it, it is their fault, not because of the people who talked behind their back. And she is the one who knows better than them, so she must be proud of what she has.
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
23 Aug 12
people are cruel sometimes and they tend to judge other insted of seeing their own faults. not even parents have the right to dictate who you should start a relationship with. it's one thing to give an advice an another one to forbid people to see each other and sadly some parents do that
@sk66rc (4250)
• United States
22 Aug 12
I refuse to live my life based on other people's standards, never have & never will... I can't stand fake people who can't seem to be true to themselves... Always doing & saying things based on what they think other people want to see & hear... My life is far from perfect but I have no regrets & I wouldn't change a thing...
@swissheart (6482)
• Romania
22 Aug 12
I also hate fake people.and sadly I got to realise I had such people among my "friends".
@echoforever (5180)
• United States
22 Aug 12
Yes some do live this way on other people's thoughts for them. Its sometimes a sad thing to see. I'm sorry you have to witness this or even live it. I have lived it myself in the past and I am glad that I no longer let people's opinions affect me. The only opinion I really care about is my own. And sometimes my family but even then, not really because they will have their own opinions that aren't the same as mine. It doens't mean I have to change my life because of that.
For more information I just wrote an article about this last night on triond: http://triond.com/users/echoforever
Its titled "Love Yourself"
@STOUTjodee (3573)
• United States
23 Aug 12
You shouldn't have to live your life in someone else's shoes. It would be a very complicated way to live "your" life as other people would want you to. You can only be true to yourself to live your life as you see fit. Some people can give you advice on how to live your life, but that is your choice. Should you make mistakes, that's all a part of life. You should enjoy life, not be unhappy by living your life in some one else's eyes.
@kalav56 (11464)
• India
22 Aug 12
We have to live life for our own sake and never for others.THere is no end to doing such a thing because there would always be something different about someone and we cannot adapt our external or internal selves to their tastes. Confidence in the self is most important and whatever we wear or buy must be based on our own likes and dislikes.
@namiya (1718)
• Philippines
22 Aug 12
i don't agree with the idea. This is my own life and i will live the way i want it as long as I DON'T STEP ON SOMEONE'S TOES. No matter what you do people will find fault in you so why bother about their opinions. I'll do whatever makes me happy and enjoy life the way I want it and not by other people standards.
@polaris77 (2039)
• Bacau, Romania
22 Aug 12
I think you took the right decision by choosing to be the way you feel like and not the way others want you to be.Unfortunately most of us try too hard to live up to the expectations of others,even if that means changing many aspects of their personality until one day when they realize how unhappy they are simply because they are not themselves.I think people who look,dress and behave in a manner that characterizes them and do not make compromises just to be accepted by a certain group will eventually find company and friends who appreciate their sincerity and make them enjoy life much more than the others.
@jhustinian (612)
• Philippines
22 Aug 12
Very well said. :D
I don't like to live that way at all, although I've experienced living in a life like that, although not particularly for the society to accept me but of my own family. I eventually realized that living up to their expectations, keeping up a facade so as to be accepted by others is such a big lie, and it'll only pull me deeper down. It didn't give me the esteem and the confidence I'd like to have, in contrast, I have been more reluctant and doubtful of myself, it didn't help me at all to build my personality.
Although I still feel the remains of my experiences, I really want to live my life feeling comfortable of my own skin and of who I really am.
Thanks for a very inspiring post. :D Happy myLotting. :D
@Len199 (28)
• United States
22 Aug 12
I love discussing this topic. I believe that everyone has been at that point before. I mean think back to when you a middle school child and you felt that need to want fit in and be needed. But it all comes down a certain point when you reach a certain age an you have a ephipany. And you realize that you don't need othe people approval. You come to terms that your great just the way you are.
