I expected as much

I'm sorry, and I can imagine your pain. She couldn't even be polite enough to invite you knowing that you and her dad are together for more than a decade, but then there will always be people like that who just care for nothing but their own feelings and benefit. Did your boyfriend even tried to tell her that he will take you with him? I mean it's not as if you will have to play a role in her wedding or something, right? But as her dad's significant other, it is but just right to invite you. She seems to have hang ups still and that isn't healthy. She will be in for some more wake up calls and she needs more lessons on humility and respect. Well, anyway, it's her wedding. Let's just hope that marriage life will teach her more lessons about life and how it is to be on your side of the fence in some ways. At least, you know better.

Wow that's just down right rude... Or maybe she expected you to come with her after as his date. But still it's not right to be ignored like that. He shouldn't let that happens if he truly loves you. I mean that's just down right mean especially since you have been in his life 13 years. I'm just surprised he hasn't asked you to move in yet. Seems about time since his daughter is married now.

I know what you mean, but I imagine it would still hurt. I have had an on-again-off-again "relationship" with one of my step-daughters snce long before Walker and I got married. She's bi-polar, and has some other issues, and when she decides she hates me, I just wait it out, and so does he. However, he would never exclude me, and wouldn't have before we were marred, the way Matt excludes you. He is allowing his daughter to do this, by not standing up to her, and saying that you are a part of his life, like it or lump it. When my parents started dating ater their divorce, their new partners knew their children were important, and first proirity (of course we were 11-15 then) and we knew that their partners were important to them, that they loved eachother, that we should respect them BUT THAT THEY WOULD RESPECT US!!! Has Matt made it known to his daughter that even though you two may not always agree, you will respect her, and what being respectful from you MEANS? There are a lot of people I can tolerate at family events. Going to one tomorrow, as a matter of fact. Dad and I have not always had a great relationship,, but we're going through a really good period now. Even if we weren't, we would not be hostile to eachother at a family event. Even MOM (Dad's ex) and Dad got along at my cousin's wedding last March. He should not allow his daughter to exclude you, the way she has. He needs to stand up for you. There is a principle here.

Matt needs to be a man and tell the world that YOU are who he's chosen to be with, and that anyone that doesn't like it can suck eggs! Sorry, but after 13 years, he has yet to marry you? The girl's mom is GONE, so there's no hope of her parents getting back together. And she IS selfish and spoiled now-I wonder if her husband even knows you exist. She didn't mature, she put on an act for Daddy. Both of them are excluding you from parts of their lives that they shouldn't, and I'm sorry to say that perhaps this isn't the healthiest of relationships. Thirteen years is a long time to be boyfriend/girlfriend-either he "man's up" and starts introducing you as his Significant Other (fiancee or whatever) to the world, and yes, that includes his daughter and son-in-law, or you walk on and find a man worthy of you. You're a lovely person, and deserve a lot better deal than you're getting here.

Awwww, that is so rude of her winterrose. You "should" have been invited regardless whether she likes you or not..you are her father's girlfriend for "13" years! She is STILL selfish and spoiled and her father shouldn't have let her get away with that...sorry, that's how I feel. I'm sorry this has happened to you, it shouldn't have.

I am so sorry this has happened to you. She is an extremely selfish, spoiled, disrespectful little snot. I see she has her father under her thumb and you're right - he should be a man and stand up for you. I see it as her loss, not yours, that she refuses to accept you as a friend. I would be proud to call you my friend. Ooh, I'm so mad that she has treated you so badly, not only in this but right from the start. Nasty, nasty little critter. It's unfortunate but the world is full of azzholes like her. Try to cheer up. I know you probably can't right now and I don't know what to say to help. I am sorry that someone so worthless has made someone as good as you feel hurt. to you.

I am really sorry to hear that, winterose. It would hurt me too. I wish that your boyfriend would at least try to get you an invitation. I mean it's been thirteen years. A little courtesy is due from her. I hope someday she will treat you as you should be treated.

That's a shame that she chooses to act this way. You can't make people like you and she probably won't be the last one. I sort of wondered sometimes if my granddaughter's husband liked me at all. I know he respected me and always treated me well but I don't think he liked me much. I am sorry that you have this situation in your life but I would you tell you this: IT'S HER LOSS!!

Ouch! So sorry to hear that. Perhaps it is plus one and your bf is suppose to invite you. I would look at it on the positive side. You know where you stand in that situation, you don't have to put up with her on a daily basis and well you don't have to buy a wedding gift. Good luck.

Sorry to hear this, winterose. I, too, think she should have invited you out of courtesy . . . this is pretty darn rude of her. It is so not fair to not include you in these family events . . . it's not giving you all a chance to get acquainted with each other - really, how else is the family supposed to get to know you. I am thinking since Matt had not invited you to these family events all these years, the daughter might have just taken his lead on the matter, which is unfortunate. Are you able to talk to Matt about how you feel about this?

Well, winterose, that's the price of having to expect from someone who from the first time doesn't like you. Had you not expected anything from her , you wouldn't be hurt. What is important is that you are liked by your boyfriend. Cheer up, my friend. Let it not affect you.

I honestly think it's an absurd you not being invited. I mean, ok she don't like you, but still you are the person that her dad chose to live with it and she just need to accept it even that maybe she prefer another person. I have similar cases with my friends that hate their stepmom, but in those cases the dad cheated the family with the stepmom, so, in these cases I can understand the hate, but I don't understand why she would hate you so much.

I would be bringing it to his attention. I mean sure its his children (not yours) but you have been together for a few years. The least they could do is invite you or he brings you as his guest. I personally would bring it to his attention, then show hiim the door if he doesnt change. Ive never had stepparents, or been in that situation but I wouldnt put up with it. Your being pushed to the side, and shows the lack of respect any of them have for you.

Hi friend, sad to hear about this, as you mentioned she never give importance to you, so don't take it seriously, i wonder why your bf don't invite your for this event? he must invite your for formal. Did you got invite from him?

This must make both you and your boyfriend feel horribly, it's too bad that she has to be this way. Sometimes you just cannot explain people’s actions; either they don't realize how much they are hurting someone or they do not care. It must be very awkward for your boyfriend when someone at the event asks where you are!

It is funny how we hope against hope that things will change. I am sorry you are left out. I know you said you expected it, but you can always think things might be different. From what you say she does not like any woman in her dad's life.

I thought parents had the right to invite their own friends to their kids' weddings? Is he paying for any of this?

Well, she is obviously rude, immature and spoiled. When my two boys dated people I didn't like, I was at least polite-- and when I was in a relationship they hated, they were still polite-- even my older one, who was raised by his rude, spoiled idiot father. I don't want to sound rude myself, but if Matt has been with you 13 YEARS, and he is still allowing family to exclude you from even ordinary events, that is wrong of him. My ex husband actually had our oldest boy DISOWNED by his family when Ryan got kicked out of his house for no good reason, and came home to live with me. Not only did my ex have RYAN disowned, he had Ryan's YOUNGER BROTHER disowned too-- he told my younger son if he stayed with me and his brother, he was giving up his Dad and the entire other side of the family. I had never said a single word against their father to the boys, before or after the divorce-- but when he did that, and his family joined him, I really let go and told them exactly what I thought of the whole pitiful bunch of losers. Both my boys graduated high school-- without their dad or his loser family. My older one graduated trucking school and went on the road-- without them. My younger son is now in basic training, and his loser uncle is less than 20 miles from Fort Benning-- and they haven't contacted him. I already know the losers won't be there when he graduates-- but I will. Your boyfriend should treat you as a part of his whole life-- not just part of it. Frankly, if I were you and he decided to show some backbone and invite me-- I wouldn't go. Why would you want to, when he hasn't let anyone know he values you? If he valued you, truly, he would have been working all these years on INCLUDING you, actively, not allowing others to exclude you to keep peace-- or for any other reason. My kids were told flat out when I began dating again (2 years after the divorce) that while I would never demand they LIKE any person I was with, I WOULD demand they respect me, and treat my partner with courtesy, and not exclude them. I always scheduled time with my kids, minus my partner if I had one-- but I NEVER excluded a partner from events where a date would be considered normal or acceptable. I have been with my other half now for over 8 years, and my boys consider him their father-- because he was there for them when the loser and family were not. And even in the beginning, I included him unless the event was something I had specifically planned as mom and sons time. I'm sorry, but you have been with him for 13 years-- you have put in your time. You deserve to be treated better-- if not by the daughter, definitely by the boyfriend.

Our case seems to be in the opposite extreme. Our son';s girlfriend called me "mom" the first time I met her. I thought that too much too fast and did not respond, so she now calls me by my first name. She regularly e-mails me and occasionally calls. This week we received an invitation to her daughter's wedding and the reception. She has repeatedly stated that we are welcome to come visit them at any time. Our son is living with her in her house (Not the one that she owned with her daughter's father, but one she bought on her own after the divorce). I just can't wait for them to make their relationship legal. She's been wearing his diamond for about a year now.

Everyone would feel rather out of it.It wasn't reasonable for her not to invite you to the wedding ceremony.I don't think that would make her lose face.Grant that you are her stepmother,but didn't you take care of her during 13 years.In addition,she must invite you for her Dad's sake.