Alone?

I get what you mean. It is better to be alone than be with someone who can not be there for you. It is just sad to have people in your life especially during the happy times and disappear on you when you need help and that is why it is good to be strong and not rely too much on people and that way you don't get disappointed.

It seems that your statement is complicated. I may construe it as you want to be alone with yourself and your shadow only as these are always with you and wherever you go, they won't go away from you.