How to help a racist friend?
@tangleddreams84 (581)
United States
August 26, 2012 11:45pm CST
I have had known this person for sometime, like three years. They don't seem racist when in public or speaking to different races but when in private it is a different deal. I am one to never hear racists jokes before and never laughed when I started to with this person. It all began with a few jokes but then grew to sly comments along months. I had began to say I didn't feel comfortable and try to edit those comments when with me but they don't seem to get it and keep going. Do I end the friendship or stand the comments as long as I disagree to be a good influence? what do you think? Do racist jokes makes someone a racist? I don't believe my friend is actually racist but just tells the jokes and comments for funnier something to say. What could I do?
1 person likes this
5 responses
@MATT69AC (333)
• United States
27 Aug 12
You could talk to your friend and tell that person to not say that kind of stuff with you, I don't think you should end a friendship.
For me I wouldn't say your friend is a racist because if they were they would say it to the other races face, but if they are just random jokes then I don't see that as a bad thing. But as I can see you have different views then I do.
1 person likes this
@tangleddreams84 (581)
• United States
28 Aug 12
That's interesting that you think they aren't a racist unless they say it to someone's face. They feel comfortable to say it in front of me so that confuses me. Are they or aren't they? If they would say it to another's face then it would be serious . I would figure to make it an issue than and possibly end the friendship then for sure if it causes problems. Thank you for the comment.
@silverfox09 (4708)
• United States
28 Aug 12
Some jokes are ok but not so ok with others . Sometimes people make a joke but its really what they think . I have watch some YouTubers who make racist joke but they are funny and no one is offended because they are just that jokes . Its hard to see the person true feeling sometimes and maybe you should just distance yourself from friends like that
@tangleddreams84 (581)
• United States
28 Aug 12
Its hard to see it clearly as I have been on YouTube as well. I have seen people get offended from just gossip. They have made videos dedicated to defending themselves and putting others down. Not even for things as serious as racism. I just put racism with politics, taxes, religion and taxes.... Just too confusing to discuss:/ thank you for your comment. Happy mylotting
@suspenseful (40193)
• Canada
27 Aug 12
They are just jokes and that does not make it a racist. Years ago, there was this joke about three different European nationalities but no one considered that racist. There was also a joke about Poles or Ukranians, but often the ones making these jokes had a bit of the nationality in them and even if they did not, no one thought too much about it. The thing is it is the person's action, for instance if that friend avoids people of different nationalities or does not treat them like everyone else he is a racist. It is the actions and it also might be that he is nervous about people of that ethnic group and is using humour to make it easy.
@vanessa11 (296)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
I do agree with what you say about staying as a good influence to your friend. If your friend doesn't get what you mean from the very beginning, then you can't do anything about it. It should start from his inner self and realize that the way he's doing it now is not already good (for you and for some too).
@spidershark (8)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
You just treat them as what they are, as jokes. Though, if its too much out of the line probably just ignore it. Ending a friendship, especially when you've known each other for years, just because of jokes seems to much for me, but its up to you though. As for me, I dont mind racist jokes even if it makes fun of my own race. To me, I dont see races but I see humans as humans, that we are all the same. And for me, the ones who are racists are the ones who persist that it exist and that we are disconnected.
@tangleddreams84 (581)
• United States
28 Aug 12
I have let it roll off my shoulder and ignore it. I understand when people make fun of their own race but not others. I felt I was being a bad friend not leaving the friendship and may be encouraging it by not causing a big issue about it. It does bother me. I'm still not sure since it is a friendship years long:/ thank you for commenting.
