What will you choose is it your lover or your family?
@educatorstudent (43)
Philippines
August 27, 2012 7:49am CST
I have a hard time thinking between my family and my boyfriend. I been in a relationship with my boyfriend for four months and its a tough journey for both of us. It's my first time to have a very serious relationship in real life setting. And this guy protected me from a controversial from a guy who also wants me to be her girl friend who indeed wants to destroy my life. It's a battlefield of love and my boyfriend did everything for me even I haven't introduce him to my family.
I'm now 4th year in college and my boyfriend want us to get married, live far from my family and have a new life together.
I know he loves me and I love him too. I got so many mistakes around my place with my family which I know my family will get disappointed if I run away and go to my boyfriend's place and have a new life. But my boyfriend said, he will take care everything when I'm with him and he will be also happy for us because he will be alright that I'm with him.
It's journey is a long distance relationship.
For you, if you are in my position what will you choose? Your family or your lover?
He can give the happiness that you deserves. He can give the best fulfillment ever.
Your family will always be your family no matter what happens.
But your lover will only comes once in your life which I already found my true loyal faithful lover in my whole life.
Will you sacrifice everything that your family gave you for the person you love? Or will you let him go away because you choose your family?
Please share your advices and opinions.
6 responses
@dsw313 (320)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
Do you think your guy can already start a family financially? And if he really loves you, he can wait for you to finish your studies and ask permission from your family as a sign of respect, your family may not agree at first but at least he tried and it is one of showing he loves you and respect you and your family. You should never take your family for granted, as we, especially women, will always be blind when we're in love, we don't know the right thing to do. I know you love him so much, but think thousand times before you go living with him. If he loves you dearly, he'll never take your family for granted. (",)
@educatorstudent (43)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Yes. He's 27 years old and I'm 20 years old. Age doesn't count anyway that he is older than me. He said, he will wait until I am ready to be with him. I know my family should never take for granted. I love my family from the ups and down in life. I guess I need to express my own personal reason in a letter before I go and leave the house. I think that will be okay. I will still write down my contact number in case of emergency. So that my family will still have a connection with me. What do you think?
@Bhebelen14 (5194)
• Philippines
27 Aug 12
Hi educatorstudent, i understand how you feel, I've been there. I think you should continue your studies first after all your already a 4th year in college and a few months from now you will be graduated and fulfill your dreams. I know you love him so much but if he really loves you he will willing to wait and let you finish your study first. As you said you already done lots of mistakes in your family in the past do not let to commit mistakes again and hurt their feeling all over again. Try to think many times before making a hard decision,a s you know getting married is not a simple life, it a very long journey and lifetime commitment. Also I think if you both in love to each other there's nothing to sacrifice or choose between family and boyfriends because it a very selfish thing when someone asking you to choose about this matter. My advice to you listen to your heart and use your mind before making a big decision in your life.
@educatorstudent (43)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
Thanks Bhebelen14. I been thinking that many times. Many times of asking myself. My boyfriend asking me many times also. And my true bestfriends were also asking me too. My friends said I should be careful for every decision I make and alway think many times because everything will rely on my own.
Thanks for the advice!
@jenny1015 (13366)
• Philippines
1 Sep 12
I know how much you must be torn between your family and your boyfriend. But think about this.
1. How long have you known your boyfriend?
2. Do you think you are ready to go a step further from your relationship now?
3. Can you handle being tied up at your age without even trying to see the whole world as it is? You are about to graduate and it is the best time to know what kind of world you live in and prepare for a brighter future for yourself, your family and for your own family in the future.
If your boyfriend loves you as much as you said, he will understand if you will choose to stay the same for as long as needed until the right time for you to get married comes.
It is better to think what can be beneficial for all. You are still young to be living with your boyfriend. Enjoy life!
@visavis (5934)
• Philippines
28 Aug 12
It is depends in every situation because comparing to get decision will couse the un-balance judgment. So we are given a wisdom to check and determine the bad and good things, we have wisdom to know and make a judge in everything in our life... so think and study first the situation before making any discision in your life.
@violann (436)
• United States
28 Aug 12
You've only known the guy for 4 months that is not long enough to really know someone. You are letting your feelings over-ride your logical self. Stay home finish school, if this relationship is meant to be it will last the long distance between the two of you until you are finished with school.
If it's not then even if you go with him it'll end sooner or later. You have not been in this relationship long enough to jump into moving that far away from your family.
@amritha3009 (70)
• India
28 Aug 12
hi,
Its completely in your hands to decide.
My suggestion is to make your parents undstnd your relationship. Try hard to make your parents accept. If u have their acceptance you can get a lot of support in life.
If u really trust your bf so much and you really want to go away with him just do a trial n error with ur parents. Talk to them explain them tell them that ur serious in this issue and tell them your ready to do anything for him and ask them to accept saying dat he is good and settled. try for some two months even if they dnt accept den take d option of goin away with ur bf.
And the main thing to say is 4 months is a very short relation and you shud decide how much ull trust ur bf there lies all the answers to your questions. parents is not a problem even if they dont agree later on in life they will agree becoz their love is true. So find out wether your bf is true or not. Dats the main criteria.
