i put a bandaid on it for my fiance

This is an emergency situation. I would post pone the wedding, because this is huge. Judging based on their reaction to you, I think you living with your fiance Ryan already. If you are, that's likely the reason this is going badly. I can't explain it, other than to say I've seen this dozens of times, and when you start living with the guy you haven't married yet, the guys family goes nuts. Why, I don't know. I just have seen it happen. In either case, regardless of if you are living with him or not, this is a huge huge problem, and you need to clear this up before you get married. Because this isn't going away, and things are going to go from bad to worse, and extremely fast. Getting married will not fix this. It will only make the problems even more severe. So what's the solution? You have to have an intervention, and the intervention can NOT come from you. It has to come from Ryan, because they won't listen to you. YOU CAN NOT.... talk, communicate, discuss or otherwise mention this problem to his family at all. If you do, this will only confirm their suspicions that the evil daughter-in-law wannabe is trying to steal away their little boy. You will only galvanize their hatred of you, and make them work even harder to destroy this relationship. The only one that can talk to his family about this is HIM! You can be WITH him when he does it, your mouth must be completely and entirely closed. The words must come from his mouth alone. So your first goal is to determine if he is going to do what he needs to do, to protect your marriage. I'm warning you up front, there's many 'boys' that are not man enough to do this. I read the story about a guy whose mother and father decided they didn't like his wife. Now he got married before they were living together, so there wasn't any drama up to this point. But they would call and refuse to talk to her, and they would invite him to things without mentioning her. So here is what he did. He called a family meeting, put the kids to bed, and set down with them in their living room. He specifically put his wife, directly in front of him, before his parents, and told them: (I'm quoting as best I remember) "This is my wife. After G-d, this single woman is the most important human being on the face of this planet. There is no one that comes before my wife, in this life. If you try and put a wedge between me and my wife, you lose. You lose holidays. You lose birthdays. You lose grand kids. You lose everything. I will cut you off, and there will be zero contact from this day on." And he said that he meant every word. He would completely cut his parents completely out of his life entirely. In his case, the parents got the message, and there were no problems after this. But your Ryan has to do this. And trust me, its going to be horribly difficult for him to do. But it MUST BE DONE. In-laws can ruin your married for sure. It's either the 4th or 5th highest cause of divorce. And unless these In-laws either get with the program that your his wife, or your Ryan becomes a man and to protect his wife, cuts them out of his life.... you are doomed. You might as well break up now. Because if he isn't willing to cut them out, and they are not willing to accept you, I promise you they will continue driving a wedge into your relationship until you split. But this is HIS job, not yours. As best you can, you should love them every chance you get. Which is hard to love people who don't like you, but you've got to do your best. You won't feel like it, but welcome to being an adult. Maturity is learning to do things you don't like. The good news is, there is a very real chance this can be fixed. The bad news is, there is also a real chance your Ryan may not man up, and take responsibility. The ugly news is, you better not get married until this issue is settled. If you do, you'll be miserable and stressed, and bitter at everyone, even Ryan, for this issue. Don't go there girl. Disney and Lennon are wrong. "All you need is love" is a lie. Don't live in an animated movie where "it will all work out", no it won't. You got to settle this problem before you move forward.

I don't really know the back story of your "situation" with your soon-to-be in-laws but I guess if you're not doing anything wrong then perhaps they're not used to people joining the family then. Perhaps it's not what you did but what other people talk behind your back or something like that, or perhaps they like the ex better - which is sad if you think about it, but that's the past, people need to move on, their brother/son did. I guess what you could do for now is just do what you do. I wouldn't push myself to people who don't like me, but I wouldn't allow them to push me over either. I could remember your situation with one of my best friends. She wasn't really liked by the family of her husband even before they got married. They never showed it up-front but they always talked behind her back. She tried to make amend and to start over (even if she didn't do anything in the first place) but no matter how she tried, she just looked evil to them. Eventually, she got tired of pleasing them and just became civil. Now, they barely see each other and she only brings her child to the grandparents, she only brings him when the husband was around. I think they didn't like her because of her ways. She wasn't the type who'd go kissing their bottoms like the other daughter-in-law did. But I think the greatest reason for their "hate" for her is because before the husband married, 90% of the income of the seafarer husband went to the mother-in-law. Then when they got married, he stopped giving 90% but rather gave little portions thinking that they'd understand because he was already married. There weren't any conversations and explanations for the financial thing, he just suddenly did so. Of course, if you are used to getting a big amount of money then suddenly a girl comes into the life of your son and he doesn't give anymore, who are you going to blame? The girl! hehe.. I think the root of her problems was because of the money. Perhaps you should stop and think about it. Perhaps you'll see the root. Try to check. Perhaps they dislike you because ever since you were together he no longer 'bonded' with them or something like that. Perhaps he did a 360 degree turn that's why they despise you. I'm pretty sure you didn't do anything to create sparks but people are not used to change, most especially if the change happened suddenly. God bless. Have a great mylot experience ahead!

hi ouch wow thats a real do wner, Have you and your fiance sat down and talked this all out? if so then perhaps you two need to move away some where where you and your fiance can have some peace. I know your Ryan loves his family but he needs to think about you as it could be they are not ever going to accept you which is so sad.

Have you ever just came right out & asked them what their problem was with you? It sounds to me like you are trying everything under the sun to be accepted by them & all they do is turn you away. If they really loved their son/brother they would try their best to get along w/ you. I think for everyone's sake(when the time is right)before you two get married you both should sit down with his family & try to find a way for you all to get along since you will be part of their family whether they like it or not. I hope for your sake that both of you can get through to them because unfortunately they could make your married life very difficult.