My ex-classmates shunned me
By micha5088
@micha5088 (554)
Malaysia
August 30, 2012 2:08am CST
It started after our first class reunion. I went for our class first reunion and everything went well. We are all in our forties now. During the first reunion, we talked about the possibility of having an annual reunion. So, we talked about it and we thought it was necessary to form a committee. My friend was elected as the chairwoman, I was happy, she was happy herself and everyone was happy too. Then for the second reunion, a few of my ex-classmates, including me, suggested a few places. The place I suggested was at the last minute changed. I was fine with that, didn't harbor any ill feelings to anyone. But I wasn't able to go to the second reunion because I got a guest staying in my house on the night they planned the reunion. But I didn't realize it was the beginning (maybe) of my friend who was elected as the chairwoman, shunning me...I didn't realize it at that time. But after I tried to contact her several times, sending message via facebook and etc, and got no replies from her, and the latest, ignoring me when I asked about the third reunion, I began to feel I was not welcomed anymore. She decided to give me the 'silent treatment'. I don't know what is going on. I guess (just guessing) someone must have slandered me and this friend probably believed everything. I feel hurt because I am not even given the chance to defend myself. In the past, I only saw her once in a while. It's sad that our friendship has turned sour...what should I do?
6 responses
@WakeUpKitty (8694)
• Netherlands
30 Aug 12
A class reunion should be for everyone who once was in that class. It's a meeting after several years. The only thing I can say to your story is: how old are you all? Aren't you adults by now? Shouldn't you behave like that? Missing a class reunion is NOT the end of the world. Not being there for some (stupid) election is NOT the end of the world either. Lesson you have out of this: your friend is not a friend, this class reunion is not a class reunion and most of those forties are childish and not worth to be friends with. Go on with your life like you did before this all started. It's not worth the stress.
@Darkkrusader (37)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
You should just try to keep a positive attitude, don't think too much about her and focus on your life. If you happen to bump into each other smile at her so she knows your not harboring any bad feelings, don't dwell on the past trust me I've tried and nothing happened. Who knows maybe one day she'll realize that she misses you.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
30 Aug 12
It's true...I should learn what it's like to have a thick face. I will pretend I don't really care...if I meet her or my other classmates, I'll just say hi! and it's up to them to decide whether they want to talk, chat with me.
@berting600 (3453)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
When studying the situation as you are today,you should have called them that very time you could not attend your reunion because they are expecting so much from you.
You are the one who planned the venue yet you are not attending,surely everyone would
be mad at you making the arrangements,that they do not know if the place was already paid for the affair.The time limit in using the place are all done by you.You must send them a letter of apology,so that your friendship would be saved.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
30 Aug 12
I did actually inform them that I wasn't able to attend the second reunion. You got it all wrong berting...I was not the only person in charge of the event. Everyone was welcomed to make suggestions. It was not like 'Sally is responsible for choosing the venue, Rachel in charge of the food, Tim in charge of the dancing etc etc'...it was more like an impromptu meeting, the day and place of meeting are not really fixed.
@jazel_juan (15746)
• Philippines
30 Aug 12
oh well if that is the case, she is a friend at all. i mean what is the reason for her shunning you out? if you missing the reunion is fine since you have a valid reason too...
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
30 Aug 12
I am just probably too hot to handle (just consoling myself)...well, I was the one who always got top scores...I was the quiet one too and my family used to be poor...but now it's a different story altogether. Could this be the reason? It's so immature of her if this is the reason (maybe) since I am always guessing...
@HomeBase (1153)
• United States
30 Aug 12
People can be really something sometimes, can't they? It is natural for you to feel hurt by this, so don't worry about feeling hurt, go ahead and feel the pain, but just know that it will subside after awhile and you will feel better.
As for this "friend", she cannot run you out of the whole reunion, so don't let her. She is just ONE person, she is NOT God and don't you dare treat her like she is God either!!
Maybe try to get in touch with the CO-chairperson of the reunion. Aren't there other people that you can get in touch with about the 3rd reunion? Surely there is someone ELSE you can ask besides her? And when you do get in touch with that person, try not to say anything about the chairwoman, because that is just adding fuel to the drama fire. You could, however, mention that you did not make it to the second reunion because you had a guest staying at your house on that night.
Keep your head up. I would stop trying to get in touch with the chairwoman, she calls herself shunning YOU when you should be the one shunning HER. You are not a doormat.
@micha5088 (554)
• Malaysia
30 Aug 12
You know what Homebase...I think I am the co-chairperson, but I don't really think of it as something significant. It's not like we want to register our group as a society. There were no proper election just based on verbal understanding. I don't care if she wants to shun me for the rest of her life...my life has to go on with or without her friendship.
@favouredmost (256)
• Kenya
30 Aug 12
Micha I strongly believe that all things work together for our good and even the greatest friendship can come to an end.Yes she saw you and had expected you to be different from who you are today and she could not handle that truth. The fact that you were not able to attend the second reunion worked as a scapegoat for her to give you the silent treatment that she wanted to introduce. With friends like those you are better off by yourself and you will get better and fabulous friends if you live well.If she was told something about you, she should have been a friend and asked you about it. You sound like you have it going on!
