It's not good I know...but I can't help...tha'ts what I always do.
By chentunacao
@chentunacao (309)
Philippines
September 2, 2012 7:43am CST
When someone say something bad about me I think about it too much...
When there is something that I wanted to buy...I think about it too much...of what am I going to do with it when I already have it.
If I had fun with friends that day. I'm going to think about what we did and even at night I could even sleep late.
If I did something wrong I will think about it over and over again what may people say about what I did.
When I think too much about something. It made me more anxious with those supposed little things that I over think of.
This is crazy! What a going to do to get rid of this?
4 responses
@Fuxymaxy (10)
• Romania
3 Sep 12
You chew upon something quite a bit, don't you? Well I had this period to.
I think its mainly because we are practically melting into ideas. We want to fit to everyone, therefore we care pretty much when someone depreciates us. I assume you are kind and friendly tempered like me, mostly because you wish to be in good with everyone.
And because we are somewhat the supportive/helping spirits, we dedicate ourselves to ideas. To roles. We always speculate on how things should be done, or what could I do in that situation better, according to my image. I always reflect upon myself in bed at night, and speculate on my mistakes, evaluate myself, and others around.
Many times I feel this as unnecesary as you do, but I had improved this trait of mine so much that I acquired a pretty good insight into human nature. If you constantly observe people and you play with the ideas being them, after some time you will be able to describe them from their look and speech.
And we speculate on so many things because somewhat we want to resolve or understand them better. But many things in life have their own role, own individual meanings, let them to be. You have to be in the present, there you have to prove, not in past or future.
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
13 Sep 12
Hi fuxymay,
Thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts.Yes, you're right I want also to fit to everyone but that was just before I learned the idea that "we can't please everybody". Before, when I knew that somebody doesn't like me it will trouble my mind. But now I am not too much affected with it as it was before.
Now that you're telling me this, I concluded into something, I can say you are much better person than I am. You do think too much but for the benefit of other people but in my case I think too much only for myself I guess. Now I got an idea I was always been criticized (physically most of the time)and being judged since I was a kid until I grew up and seldom hear appreciation from my family. I felt tired of being criticized. So every time I hear criticism from people it would really bring me down. And the worst thing is that whatever they say about me will feed my mind of those thoughts that "whatever they think about me, my mind says maybe that's what I really am" it made me feel unsure of myself. Because nobody could say you're not like that and this. I have no one to talk to regarding those feelings. I only keep it with myself and think too much about it.
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
14 Sep 12
Wow! I really admire how you deal things like this. How I wish I could have someone with me who talk to me in this manner. How grateful could your friends be to have someone who would talk to them this way.
@Fuxymaxy (10)
• Romania
13 Sep 12
Well, send me a PM and we can discuss this more deeply and privately, if you want:) I can help you in this.
The major thing I have learned (I was like too in a way) that there are very few people who really know what are they talking about, and not just bringing the "waka waka, you are like this and that" phrases.
The one and most important thing in your whole life is its first step you make: Realising what you can do, and in what are you BEST! No, not after what your mother or friends said. No, not after what TV or Horoscope says about your personality. You have to sit down, stare in front of you,clear out your head, completely, and let your belief strengthen you that your true values will bring your future. And dig into yourself deeply. What do you like to do? What makes you feel useful? What would make you feel happy? No, not regarding to be friend with many people, or have a family, kids, etc...These come from themselves after you are straight ahead with your personality and future. Everyone is unique in a way. Everyone has its own likes, and speciality(es). No, you are wrong. YOU TOO! And those specialities are as important as others are. There arent better and worse capabilities. Only different fields of use.
What I am trying to say, that you must start to reallocate your trust in yourself from others opinion into your values. Whenever someone evaluates somehow you, you will always know that "I know, what I am capable of. You can say anything, you cannot judge me after nothing" .
This attitude requires huge objectivity from your part and realistic approach of yourself.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
2 Sep 12
Well we have all done stupid things, if by doing that you harmed someone else you must face that and ask their forgiveness. If, however you have done nothing wrong, then you must consider the source of the bad mouths. Age will help you, as you grow older you will learn what is really important in your life and be able to focus on that. Sure none of us like it when bad things are said about us, but these grow less and less important as other goals arrise.
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
Thank you for that savypat. What you said will surely help whenever I feel the same again. Because I lack confidence with myself whatever other people would say about me would surely affect me whether its true or not. Because I grew up being criticized that might be the reason why I can't deal with rejections easily.
@much2say (55901)
• Los Angeles, California
3 Sep 12
I know - I can be like this too. I have always been too analytical about things - and I can take things very personally (but not show it on the outside). It's hard when people advise you to "just don't think about it" - but you can't help it - you just do. I find it's a struggle to try to "not" think about it - so I try to stay busy with other things (be productive) to get that brain to put the thoughts aside. I know in time I'll think less about it less . . . but in the meantime I know it can be difficult.
@freedang (320)
• China
2 Sep 12
hi
i think we are same,i have exect the same feeling with you.maybe we just too care about what other ones will think about us.
but i would not let that feeling last too long,i alway try to get myself focus on other thing,listen to some music or watch a movie.they help a lot
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
2 Sep 12
good for you, you can divert your attention to other things easily. It's just because when I have in mind something which I am thinking about. I let myself be locked in my room together with those thinking. Or I can't help not to think about it before I went to sleep and stay up late
