Asking Your Man To Marry You
By diannelee89
@diannelee89 (52)
Philippines
September 3, 2012 8:58am CST
Have you ever tried showing your man hints that you already want to get married?
When couples have been together for quite sometime and both already have stable jobs, what is keeping a man from asking his girlfriend from marrying her?
Everyday, he tells her, "I love you." He does wonderful things for her like taking her out on a date, bringing her flowers and gifts for special occasions, and doing activities together.
Is there something wrong with the woman then?
I am asking this because my boyfriend and I have been a steady couple for almost three years, and I feel that it is time for us to settle down. I have given him obvious hints about getting married and having a family. He has always responded with something that ends with, "...someday."
I reckon this means that he is not ready to marry me yet, right? And if I push it, it might ruin everything we have.
What are your thoughts in this?
7 responses
@toniganzon (72550)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
If I were in your shoes, i would think that he's not truly ready and there must be something that's holding me back. If I were in your shoes, i would even be paranoid to think that he's not in love with me. Yes he says he loves me everyday, but is he really that in love with me to start our own family and to be a mother of his kids? But then that's me and not you.
Obviously he's not ready to commit and he must have several reasons why. I could make a few but I don't know him to say I am certain about those. He might still be in the testing process of wanting to be sure that he's going to be a good husband. Second, he's doubting his own self, if he is ready to be tied or not. I could go on all day but there won't be enough space.
You better not push it though and just simply wait. If you run out of patience, then i think you will have to find someone else to marry. Just kidding.
@toniganzon (72550)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
Well i hear men everyday saying they don't understand women and their whining. 
Men and women are really from different planets.
Men and women are really from different planets.@diannelee89 (52)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
Jeez! It has been bugging me everyday. And everyday, I have been dying to know the reason behind the wait.
I guess you're right. He must be struggling with himself whether or not he is ready to take the next step and commit to become a husband.
I will never understand men. They do everything to make us commit to them, but in the end, they're actually the ones who are not ready to commit!
@safwan0012 (117)
•
4 Sep 12
there are many possibilities.either the boy is flirting you.there are many such cases,in which boys try to play with girls and when filled the leave.my purpose is not to dis heart you.i m listing the casses.Or there are some problems with boy which are stopping him;like finincial,job or other things.you should be patient and wait for him to settle other wise go and say marry me or i will left.
@diannelee89 (52)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
I would rather think that the reason behind the wait has something to do with financial stuff. It would really break my heart if he still wants to date other women but given that he seems happy whenever he's with me, well, I doubt it.
@arizen (152)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
I agree with your thoughts. I read in a book (which I can't remember) that females mature ahead of males. I think this is one of the aspects where we females get readily ahead on males. I have seen your case in my best friend's relationship with her boyfriend. They are five years already and of suitable age, but her boyfriends is always apathetic when marriage is the topic. I think that these men are not yet ready to settle down. And they may be afraid of the "ultimate" form of commitment. Give your boyfriend his own time while managing to drop hints too. Eventually, he will realize when it is time for him to say goodbye to his bachelor ways.
@diannelee89 (52)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Men find ways just to keep us and our commitment. Then in the end, it's them who are afraid of being totally committed?
Wow, five years! I am not sure if I can wait that long. I guess I will just have to keep myself busy and focus on building more foundation in our relationship. Who knows?
Thanks for the advice.
@vidhyaprakash_2 (7116)
• India
3 Sep 12
Hi friend, i wonder why your bf postponing your marriage, as you mentioned both of you have stable jobs, then it is the right time to get marriage and give birth to the kids, May be he don't have any idea to marry you?
@diannelee89 (52)
• Philippines
5 Sep 12
Maybe. I could ask him that but I am not sure that I am prepared for his answer. I have this gut feeling that his answer might not be the one I am looking for. I am such a chicken. Ha! LOL.
@jinaigarcia (28)
• Philippines
4 Sep 12
Well i guess guys have this thing against "getting hooked".
Anyway, your boyfriend must have a reason why he does not want
to get married right now. Whatever it is, i think after he's
done with it, he'll eventually marry you. From what you said,
I think he loves you and would do anything for you.
Just be patient, he may be waiting for the right time
to prepare, or to surprise you.
:)
@chentunacao (309)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
Though he's not proposing yet.But have you heard him saying things like at what age he wanted to settle down? What are his plans for your future family? Things that he wanted to do when you get married. Can you feel that you are part of his future plans? If so, then you don't need to worry because maybe he still have goals that he needed to achieve. Or he still want to help his family. Some men were not in a hurry to get married. Unlike women that we are much conscious with our age and still single. Some men still want to enjoy life being single and free from family obligations.
But if you didn't hear anything like that. That would be alarming...
@diannelee89 (52)
• Philippines
3 Sep 12
We did have conversations about doing the things we never got to do when we were younger. He also mentioned that he wants to help his family financially.
He did mention about future plans, how many kids he would like to have, and how to raise them.
LOL. You are right! I guess I do not have to feel worried or insecure then. Perhaps, I should just wait until he's ready to settle down with me free of other obligations.
But I hope it would not be that long. I am a woman after all.
Thank you for the helpful advice.
@dagzcuning08 (2)
• Philippines
6 Sep 12
I don't think there's anything wrong with you. You would know if he's ready to settle down if he talks about your future together. If you're still young, you need not get hurry on getting married especially if your partner seems not yet ready. Just take it slow. Everything would fall into place on the right time.
