He's over cancer, but
By dorannmwin
@dorannmwin (36392)
United States
September 7, 2012 12:24am CST
his boss has just been diagnosed with a very similar cancer.
Over the last several weeks, Tom has been telling me that his boss had been missing a lot of work and that he looked like his lymph nodes were really swollen. Well then about three weeks ago, Steve told Tom that he had to go into the hospital and get a feeding tube and fluids because he hadn't been able to eat for a few weeks. After they got his strength up they were going to be doing a biopsy to see if he had cancer.
Tom was convinced that Steve had the same kind of cancer that he did. Well, though his boss was diagnosed last week with lymphoma, it isn't Hodgkin's lymphoma, it is T-cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma.
I told Tom that though he won't go through the exact same things that he has had to go through, it would still be a great idea for him to be there for his boss when he had questions or just wanted someone to talk to that has been through something similar to what he has been through. I even told Tom to tell Steve that if his wife ever needed someone to talk to that I would be there for them.
So, I want to know for all of the cancer survivors out here, have you ever been there for a friend or someone that you were somewhat close to when they were going through a cancer diagnosis and treatment? Do you think that it is right for the people that served as your caregivers to say that they would be willing to talk to a fellow caregiver?
I certainly wish that I would have had someone make that kind of an offer to me when I was taking care of my husband through diagnosis and treatment and now through remission.
1 person likes this
5 responses
@marguicha (223001)
• Chile
7 Sep 12
Dear friend,
It is certainly important to have someone give you a hand, specially if they have had the experience. It´s not the same when we talk to people who don´t know what we are talking about, even if they are caring. For me it was very important to have Debbie and you here when I started my chemo. I needed to know I was not alone. Besides, only a person who has had any kind of cancer understands fully the word "remission" which, as we know, is not a complete cure.
And while not all cancers are the same nor their outcome, we need to have someone near us. I have a non-Hodgkin's follicular lymphoma. It´s on remission but has no cure: I have a follow up treatment every 3 months and I try to have as much fun in between. I will never know what the next exams will say. Meanwhile there´s the present. I did not feel the same towards life before: my idea of future has changed. If we can share our experiences with other people, it might help. Take care!
@marguicha (223001)
• Chile
14 Sep 12
I know, friend. Live your life to the fullest these 6 months. I´m doing that each 3 months now. No reason why we cannot have fun. Besides, now we know how precious life is.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
14 Sep 12
You are absolutely right. I have a lot of things that we are looking forward to doing in the near future. For example, we hope to take the kids to an indoor waterpark soon and just two weeks ago we took them on a land/water tour of the Cincinnati area. Through all of the treatments, they had to miss out on a lot of fun so we've been trying to make things up to them.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Sep 12
I think that anyone that has been through cancer or has been the caregiver of someone that has had cancer comes to understand that no matter what their lives will never be the same. Right now, we are in a really good time with Tom's health, but it is not a guarantee. For right now, we are trying to have fun in our lives as well, but I know that when December comes and he has his next CT scan (they aren't going to do PET scans anymore) and exam I am going to have a lot of anxiety. And hopefully then I will be able to relax for six months and do it all over again. It is just a different part of our lives now.
@Jshean20 (14348)
• Canada
8 Sep 12
I can certainly imagine the importance of having someone who understands as a friend to talk with in this type of situation. Cancer hasn't touched close to my life as of yet, I have lost people however I was too young to understand. It's very kind that you're showing so much concern for Tom's boss and even his wife, I'm sure they appreciate your kindness.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
10 Sep 12
His wife has not yet reached out to me. However, it is very clear that Steve has reached out to my husband. Just from what Tom has shared with me, I feel like I know almost as much about Steve's course of treatment as I knew about my husband's course of treatment last year.
@savypat (20216)
• United States
7 Sep 12
Your guess is right, who better to help a caregiver than one who has been there.
Just to know that you can phone someone with your personal concerns is such a blessing. Often in the treatment of illness, the caregiver's needs are overlooked. So go with your gut on this one, if the boss's wife doesn't want your help she'll tell you, if not with words than with actions. My prayers go with you all.
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Sep 12
You are right. I really wish that there would have been someone, anyone that I would have been able to talk to while Tom was going through his treatment. The closest that I had was my aunt whose daughter (my cousin) had cancer as a child. Aunt Katie was a great help to me, but her experience with Maria was far different than my experience with my husband.
@cynthiann (18602)
• Jamaica
7 Sep 12
I am beginning to dread the sound of the word cancer. I have recently heard that a close friend of mine back home has been diagnsed with lung cancer. The worst thing is that she doesn;t have health insurance so as I reach home I hve to get epopel together to organise a fund raising activity.
Last month my dearest sister was diagnosed with cvancer of the lung, brain and spinal cord. I can't even bear to talk about this as she was misdiagnosed.
Definitely a good idea ot have a buffy who is familiar with the disease to talk about it to. It can be a friend or a family member.sometimes when we talk to professionals medical peope we become so anxious that we miss what is really being said and this iswhere a buddy can help.
If it were me then I would definitely appreciate the help
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
8 Sep 12
I too would have definitely appreciated to have someone that I would have been able to talk to when I was going through all of this. I hate the big C word because of the fact that it has changed my life so much.
I should be in the prime of my life right now, but being the caregiver of a cancer patient has changed almost everything about me.
@audrey7 (232)
• Jamaica
7 Sep 12
There are persons who offer help with encouragement and pointers to further treatment or precautionary measures because they have gone through the process. This is one of the reasons for organizations that promote how to survive or how to be free from cancer. What has happen over the years is that a number of people see these things (illness) as private and will not disclose so they will not get help that people will volunteer to give. People are now aware that diseases will affect anyone and once help can be had they are willing to assist. In Jamaica cancer survivors help and the media play an effective role. It is a pity that you did not cry out to the relevant persons for help. What about the organization in the area? Anyway you overcame! this is now cancer awareness time so it is good that you talk about it so others who might be in a similar position can get the mindset to be of help.
